Monday, January 14, 2008

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Quotes

For the record, I wish I had written this movie. I would sell my soul to have written this movie. If you haven't seen it, I hate you. And everybody you will ever meet secretly thinks you smell kind of funky. This is one of the best movies I've seen in the past ten years. Hands down.

"This is every shade of wrong."

"I tell him about destiny; he's shaking his head. About dreamgirls; he doesn't care. I mention the underwear thing? He has a fucking conniption. And you? How 'bout it, filmgoer? Have you solved the case of the - the dead people in L.A.? Times Square audiences, please don't shout at the screen, and stop picking at that, it'll just get worse."

"Don't worry, I saw Lord of the Rings. I'm not going to end this 17 times."

"It was the first time I felt how pitying someone and wanting to fuck them can get all tangled up in your head. Overwhelming sadness, meanwhile you got a Rodney. Is that sick? I think… yeah… I think that's sick."

"Doesn't that suck? I just hit you for no reason. I don't know why."

"Your mouth is a recommended place to put a sock."

"When in doubt, cut up a pig - that was the town's motto."

"Thanks for coming, please stay for the end credits, if you're wondering who the best boy is, it's somebody's nephew, um, don't forget to validate your parking, and to all you good people in the Midwest, sorry we said fuck so much."

"Why in pluperfect hell would you pee on a corpse?"

"So she comes to the door with nothing on but the radio. And she leads me inside and I sit down, right? Well, then she sits right on my lap and lights up a spliff."
"Really? That happened?"
"No. Idiot."

"I call it my 'faggot gun,' because it's only good for a couple of shots and then you have to drop it for something better."

"Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?"
"A picture of me?"
"No! The definition of the word 'idiot!' Which you fucking are!"

"He called her a... well, a bad word. Cunt."

"I shot him with a small revolver I keep near my balls."

"Do you think I'm stupid?"
"I don't think you'd know where to put food, if you didn't flap your mouth so much. Yes I think you're stupid."

"This isn't good cop, bad cop. This is fag and New Yorker. You're in serious trouble."

"Merry Christmas. Sorry I fucked you over."

"I swear to God, it's like somebody took America by the East Coast, and shook it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on."

"I want you to picture a bullet inside your head right now. Can you do that for me?"
"Fuck you. Anyway, that's ambiguous."
"Ambiguous. No, no, I don't think so."
"No, I think what he means is that when you say 'Picture it inside your head' okay is that that a bullet will be inside your head. Or picture it IN your head."
"Harry will you shut up?"
"Well he's got a point."
"Look, I don't know anything about a girl, seriously. I was bluffing."
"Oh okay, you know what? I think you are bluffing right now."
"Harry what are you doing?"
"Well what I am doing for the guy who likes to bluff, is I am playing a little game called 'Am I bluffing?' Where is she? Where the fuck is Harmony?"
"Harry."
"You want to play hard ball, I can do that. Where...is...the girl!"
[The gun unexpectedly fires into the gunman's head.]
"What did you just do!?"
"There was only one bullet in that right?"
"Yes, you put a live round into that gun."
"Well I didn't know I thought there was like an ...eight percent chance."
"Eight? Who taught you math?"

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