Blog* Never has a tender endearment sounded so creepy. Title is from Zombieland.* I am back, and I will be blogging again regularly. So rejoice, peons.* Dan Faust, phantasmagorical man that he is, lists his top ten books of the year. I need to read them all, right now, because his list includes demons, super-powered teens, and motherfucking DEMIGODS.Food!Win* I am going to make these for Danceswithelvis, because A) she deserves them because she is epic win, and B) I want to make cupcakes with POLAR BEARS on them:[Found at Bakerella]Plus they've got soda in them, and you know how I feel about soda (hint: PURE LOVE).Girly!Shit* Reader Kuhlchikk sent me this link, which almost made me glad I bite my nails, because at least they are not DEFORMED:Bubble nails? REALLY? Puffy nails? I forbid the existence of these things. They will NOT become popular in 2010. DO YOU HEAR ME?Whut?* This is a pencil. Plated with pure gold:[Found at LikeCool]WHY DOES THIS EXIST? WHO WOULD DO THIS? IS IT ART? IS IT A COMMENTARY ON OUR SOCIETY? OR IS IT JUST A STUPID, STUPID WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY? WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE ALLOW THIS THING INTO BEING? More to the point, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH STUFF I COULD BUY WITH THAT FREAKING PENCIL? I need more coffee.Fandom* Look, I am really trying to be nice to the Twilight people. It's a New Years' resolution, yeah? I am going to be mature, and make fun of them WITH the rest of the fandom universe. I'm growing as a human being.But then I see shit like this, and how can I NOT comment?[Found at Etsy]A life-sized Edward Cullen sticker is watching you sleep. How is this not creepy? There is no one I want watching me sleep, especially by BREAKING INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE AND THEN DICTATING HOW I LIVE MY LIFE BECAUSE AS A WOMAN I CAN'T MAKE DECISIONS FOR MYSELF, OR BUCKLE MY OWN SEATBELT.Sorry, sorry. I'll go work on my New Years' Resolution, you go burn this giant scary sticker, OK?Stark Trek* Star Trek plus Pulp's "Common People" plus cartoony goodness plus Monday without work equals:Well, the work bit may only apply to me, but still, STAR TREK AND PULP.Art* I went to this:You be hating, yes? I got to see the reindeer topiary from Edward Scissorhands, and Pierce Brosnan's head from Mars Attacks! And the knives from Sweeney Todd, and the costume from Edward Scissorhands, and the scarecrow from Sleepy Hollow and the models from A Nightmare Before Christmas, AND THE ANGORA SWEATER FROM ED WOOD, WHICH SHOULD HAVE WON ALL THE OSCARS EVER.I'm OK now.Daily Hot Guy[And now I am REALLY OK. John Barrowman, AKA Captain Jack Harkness from Doctor Who and Torchwood. Even though I am VERY ANGRY with Captain Jack due to the third season of Torchwood, but he is still a very, very sexy man. Can't deny that.]WTF, INTERNET?* Dude, did you hear? You can get your ashes put in a sculpture of a person's head. No, listen: You could get your ashes put in your OWN HEAD, or your ex-husband's head (that would freak him out), or your kids' head (teach the little shit to forget your birthday), or the PRESIDENT'S HEAD:[Found at Wonkette]I want to have my ashes put in the head of John Adams. Or William Shatner. I don't need to explain myself to you.Music* This song won't stop playing in my head, and I have no problem with that AT ALL:This is a badass song, and I CHALLENGE you to argue that.Comics* I found this through Warren Ellis, but it's drawn by Eliza Gauger, who is my new hero:[Found at Warren Ellis]If I was Batman, I'd do that too, all the time.Words Of Winsee more Epic FailsLife Lessons* King Oblivion, Phd. of the International Society of Supervillians teaches us about life, sex in bathrooms, and other important lessons he gleamed from Grand Theft Auto IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony:
Cage fights are pretty fun until the guy with the knife shows up.That guy's a dick.Not if you manage to sneak in a flame thrower.Politics* WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE UNIVERSE? REALLY? I CAN'T EVEN... WHAT?![Found at Wild Ammo]THERE IS ONE WHERE THE UNICORN IS POURING SUNTAN LOTION ONTO OBAMA'S BACK. I AM NOT KIDDING, LOOK:WHAT IS GOING ON? WHY IS AMERICA THE UNICORN MASSAGING LOTION INTO THE PRESIDENT? Epic!Fail* So when depressed teenagers are jumping on front of trains, the OBVIOUS SOLUTION is to stand around the train tracks and make sure they don't jump, rather then, you know, having a conversation with the kids, or trying to find out WHY the kids are so depressed:
There are no shrines erected here, no memorials to the four dead teenagers. No one wants to romanticize what happened. In fact, no one even uses the "S" word, instead referring to "the incidents," or "the misuse of the tracks." The volunteers fear saying anything that could encourage another copycat.WHAT THE FUCK. These kids committed suicided. This should not be a taboo word. They committed suicide. The word does NOT make people go, 'Gee, I totally want to do that!.'These kids are suicides. They are not 'incidents,' or 'misuses of the tracks.' How dare you undermine what these kids were suffering, and how desperate and hopeless they must have felt to do such a thing. HOW DARE YOU. And calling it an 'incident' won't stop other depressed, desperate kids from doing this.These kids were depressed and scared and in so much pain that jumping front of a TRAIN seemed a better alternative to living. You could call it 'happy fun time.' It doesn't matter. Fuck your little watch crew. The next depressed teen won't jump in front of a train. They'll find another way, if they're that determined.Maybe just talk to these kids? Get them counseling? Find out WHY they feel so hopeless, and solve the problem? No. No, standing out in the cold on the train tracks is a much better solution to having a conversation with your kid. Because that might mean admitting you failed on some level, or need to make an effort and change your parenting, and GOD FORBID you might have to do that.I just don't understand the logic here. If a kid overdoses on a prescription, or cuts their wrists, are they going to follow teenagers into the bathroom? Because that could get all SORTS of awkward.Books* I had some more coffee and have calmed down. I would like this chair:[Found at Incredible Things]It can hold 300 books! That's like, 1/3 of my collection, maybe!Doctor Who* I have not seen the "End Of Times" Doctor Who episode, SO DO NOT SPOIL IT, but Bossmew sent me this, and it in no way surprises me:GOD DAMN YOU, RUSSELL T. DAVIES. WHY MUST YOU KILL MY HAPPY? STOP TRYING TO BE JOSS WHEDON. JOSS WHEDON HAS ENOUGH TROUBLE WITH THAT.People I Love* Once upon a time, a dude was selling hot dogs in New Orleans (much like A Confederacy of Dunces, which is one of my favorite books ever, and HAVE YOU READ IT?). Some other dude tried to rob him, with a knife. Well, Hot Dog Dude used to be a Marine, and he FUCKING PWNS that sorry-ass robber, WHILE WEARING the hot dog-seller uniform. Look at this BAMF:[Found at Nola]He is my hero. Let's all buy a hot dog from him, and discuss A Confederacy of Dunces.You know, if you all go follow my blog on Twitter, I may have a New Years' surprise for you all. Or I may be lying. But if you don't follow me, YOU'LL NEVER KNOW, and it will haunt you all your days, the end.- LV
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