Anxiety Is Eating My Brain

I wrote the first chapter of my book. It's only two pages. Does that make it a prologue? I might connect it to the second chapter. I like really short chapters. I have no idea why. I wrote it in my notebook first, longhand. I call it a skeleton of the story. The outline is done, as is preliminary research on all the gods I reference. I really wanted to use demons, but I kind of liked the idea of there being a sort of business setup in the gods universe. So we're going with that.I may have added too many characters. I was also really excited to discover my mental picture of one of the characters perfectly corresponded with the historical description. It was an encouraging coincidence. One character is named after two authors I like. That might change. I also think the ending might be too abrupt, or at least the Big Finale. But a lot happens, and there's a lot of drama and humor and intrigue and all that good shit. At least there will be when I write it. One problem is that I don't have a bead on my main character. I don't know her yet. I like her, but I don't really get her. And I feel like she really isn't proactive in her own story, which I dislike quite a bit. But maybe she doesn't have to be, you know? My story isn't about getting what you want, or happy endings. It's about dealing with what you get, and how you remain who you are despite what may happen to you. That nobody can take away who you are. Which is a bit deep for what seems to be a fairly funny book, but I'm hoping it will hold out.I don't want to say what it's about yet. Suffice it to say, the main character is named Violet, Death is a major character, and quite a few people die. That's all you're gonna get for now. Unless you ask really nicely, add me on Technorati (click the link on the side), or otherwise make me feel special. I know you're all DESPERATE to find out what's cooking in my twisted little mind.I have to go to the doctor. I haven't been in a while, and I think I might actually have something wrong with me. Maybe something serious. And now I've freaked myself out, and am too nervous to sleep. Because I'm stupid.But that's all for now. Must sleep, and not worry, because I have my interview tomorrow (yay?). But I'll probably worry a lot, and not get any sleep, and be cranky and shitty all day.The book is getting written. That is a Good Thing. - LV

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