That Was The Second Album I Ever Bought!

Blog* I think the second album I ever bought was the soundtrack to Pocahontas. What? Title is from Shaun of the Dead.* I love these socks that meta_louise made:They are fuzzy and delightful.* Michelle broke the rules. She spoke ill of a movie that featured Ron Perlman. We do not do these things. DENIAL IS AN ACCEPTABLE RESPONSE TO The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. BECAUSE IT HURTS MY SOUL. Clearly Ron Perlman was Photoshopped into the movie. Can we all pretend this? For me?Daily Buy* This is your holiday gift-guide of stuff I think is cool, and should be purchased for someone. Like me, maybe.

For some reason, I lose my temper when I am repeatedly asked to pass the salt/pepper at the table. Once or twice is fine. Hell four or five times is acceptable. But when we enter double digits, I start muttering psychotically about how everyone should have their own salt and pepper shakers, and why the hell do you need so much damn seasoning.These would solve the problem:[Found at Nerd Approved]THEY WALK. YOU WIND THEM AND THEY WALK. This amuses me. I would have a small army of spice-filled robots marching across the table.Art* This is a pretty Coke can:[Found at Like Cool]It looks chrome. Everything is chrome in the future!Comics* I have been on a Joker kick as of late. I love him. He is a mean scary clown, which would naturally lead you to believe that he scares the shit out of me (and sometimes he does, because GOD DAMN), but he is also probably my favorite villain of all time (I am unoriginal) (incidentally, Iron Man is still my favorite hero, and I stand by that, and if these two ever face off TELL ME, so I can keel over in fangirl joy) (I do like Deadpool a lot, of course, but Iron Man is still my favorite, ever since I read Demon In A Bottle).The Joker gets full points for the most creative, fucked-up kills in the comic 'verse (I wait now for someone to correct me).This is one of my favorites:Also this one, from The Dark Knight, because he FINISHES THE TRICK. 'It's... ah, it's gone!'I also think those are the Joker equivalent of spirit fingers at the end.Here's a list of the top ten Joker kills. HAHA, he made Batgirl dead! WIN.Tattoo Of Win* Patience sent me this, to make sure it wasn't me:[Found at Ugliest Tattoos]Don't be silly. I don't have a pierced navel!Life Lessons[Found at Indexed]Moment Of Win[Found at Friggin Random]Daily Hot Guy[Alan Tudyk, AKA Alpha Wash (it matters not that both these shows have been cancelled, they embody all that is Win in him, and he shall be referred to as such for ALWAYS), in a bathtub, with soap in his hair. Looking stoned. The whole movie this is from has no merit beyond him.]Harry Potter* Oh, I did not read this at ALL. It's a truly twisted Draco/Lucius naked-time story, and I read the bit before the jump, and now I can't even DEAL with Harry Potter for a while.

Fine, fine. In the sake of journalistic integrity, or whatever, I will read the whole thing, so I know what I'm linking to. One second.

OH FUCKING GOD. OH MY EYES. THEY CAN NEVER UNREAD THIS. OH SHIT. I NEED ALCOHOL. NOW. GALLONS OF RUBBING ALCOHOL FLOWING THROUGH THE STRIP. HOLY SHIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?YOU DO NOT DO THAT TO SOMEONE'S HEAD. EVER.

Tore through blood? I don't believe that's how liquids work.

This also may have some of the funniest FFF comments ever, which will comfort me as I check myself into a sanitarium, where they pipe in soothing music and keep me away from the internet, where BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO DRACO MALFOY. Jeez, doesn't the kid have enough issues? And after reading this story, ask yourself this question: At what point in the book series do you think the author hatched this idea? BECAUSE IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.TwiHate* Occasionally people get annoyed about this category. If I don't like Twilight, why do I discuss it? If I have such general fandom love (and I do, which is why I mock it mercilessly), why am I so hard on TwiFans?

The short answer is that I'm a bitch. The longer answer is that I find the books deeply offensive and stupid, the movies mind-bogglingly horrific, the media's angle that 'suddenly girls like comics and fantasy!' angle ridiculous, and the merchandise to be proof that we are living in the end of times.

But I do have friends who like Twilight, and they are smart and wonderful, and to be honest I have no real issue with the fans who just happen to like it. If you're not in any of the above categories, and can laugh at your fandom, I wish you well. It's just the ones who take it seriously - I mean, REALLY seriously, and get very very upset with any sort of fun-poking (look, if you're in a fandom, you need to laugh. Ditto for all you people who REALLY care about a sports team. Or politics. Or anything. If you can't laugh at the things that matter to you, on some level, you're going to be in for a rough ride) - that cause me to have this category.

Also the fact that I hate Stephenie Meyers' work for many reasons. But that's OK, isn't it? How many people hate my various loves? Or make fun of them? They had BLUE CONDOMS when Watchmen came out.

Anyway, moving away from my rant about why Twilight makes me want to scream, here's a poster that sums it up for me:[Found at Geekologie]Taylor Lautner is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. HE WAS SHARKBOY:THIS WAS FOUR FREAKING YEARS AGO.Just saying.

And for those of you NAYSAYERS that claim I know not of what I speak, I sat through New Moon yesterday. Really. And I have to say, it is quite possibly the best movie ever to MST3K the SHIT out of. If you have a friend with a similar sense of humor, go now. It was truly beyond words. And by 'beyond words,' I mean utterly terrible and probably illegal in other cultures.Food!Fail* Some things are not meant to be combined and then frozen:[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]This is the description:

Picnic PopsiclesBacon cheeseburger chunks, ketchup, mustard and onion frozen in strawberry KoolAid.

Did you know you could freeze ketchup? It never occurred to me. But apparently you can. In other news, I need to go throw up.Politics* Every time Tom DeLay dances, a kitten explodes:THINK OF THE KITTENS.Apocalypse How?* Once, when I was a wee lass on vacation with my parents, the plane missed the runway during landing. So we turned around and landed. I was a naive little slip of a thing, and thought this was good fun.

Now I am older, wiser, and prone to crying as I step on a plane, because they are GODLESS KILLING MACHINES.

If this had happened to me on that flight, I'm not sure I'd be able to even speak of planes without shaking and whimpering:

A passenger plane headed for an airport in eastern Congo overshot the runway (spider solitaire) and ended up crash-landing in lava.

LAVA. PLANES ARE LANDING IN LAVA. What's next, landing in a pit of flesh-eating clowns? WHY DID I JUST TYPE THAT?Epic!Fail* I eat meat, and I enjoy meat, even though my father is a hardcore vegan and my mother is a vegetarian, and I enjoy many vegan/vegetarian foods. But I also like meat, and find it delicious, and while I respect people's moral stance against consuming animal products, I do not subscribe to that philosophy.

However, I think we can all agree that this is super-fucked-up:WARNING: This is actually a very upsetting video, so I'm going to tell you about it before you innocently click on it and are dumped into a nightmare world of animal torture.This fish is alive. It was lightly fried (while alive), covered in sauce (while alive), then eaten slowly (while alive and moving).I don't need to explain why this is Epic!Fail, do I?Books* When the International Society of Supervillains tells you to read something, you DAMN WELL READ IT. Doctor Who* Any list of Doctor Who villains that includes Magnus Greel is INARGUABLY brilliant. Totally unrelated, am I the only one who watches new Doctor Who/Torchwood episodes and thinks, 'Brigadier Leader Lethbridge-Stewart would NEVER have allowed UNIT to become such a mess!'? It also just struck me that he and Ianto Jones might have gotten along rather well. I have such thoughts.I think that was a long enough post for a Sunday, don't you? Off to make presents for people, and possibly find a way to steal Lady Gaga's identity. WHAT? I want her shoes.- LV

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