Blog
* Moss is nothing if not neat. Title is from The IT Crowd.
* I know, I know. This was a week of FAIL!BLOGGING. I was sick. Like, justifiably sick. But I am mostly recovered, and so I will resume blogging. My apologies.
* Michelle gives the greatest review of Greaser's Palace ever written. Now I want to see this movie. Desperately.
TwiHate
* This is ridiculous:
[Found at Regretsy]
Except for the sparkles, dude could be a guest on Gumby. He doesn't look like Lord Sparkles at all. I make fun of Twilight fans, but none of them would ever buy this pin. I kind of want to take of of Twilight fans. Not in a mean way. I just feel like they need someone to protect them from shameless merchandising. 'Look, guys, if you're going to buy a pin of Edward's head, let's find you one that's a bit more authentic. No, Trudy, you can't use Robert Pattinson's ACTUAL head. That's rude.'
Food!Fail
* Do not read this article if you enjoy: Diet Soda, bread, salads, broccoli, green beans, frozen custard, chili, French onion soup, burgers, potato chips, apple pie, potato soup, or frozen foods.
This article is about strange objects found in food. Decomposing frog? Be right back, vomiting forever.
Politics
* There is a game about the end of the world via Obama. I want to play it, but you have to wait 8 hours to get into the next round, and I'm BUSY in 8 hours. Also I don't care that much. I want a game where you are Levi Johnston, and must impregnate as many politicians' daughters a possible. I'd like a game like that to exist.
* Unsafe abortions cost the developing world about $341 million a year. It would be cheaper and safer to provide women with contraceptives and safe abortions. Before you start yelling either way (No abortions for anyone! Abortions for everyone! Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others!), remember that this study was done by an institution, and they have numbers and facts and TRUTH to back up what they're saying. In other news, I can't even IMAGINE $341 million. It's an imaginary number, right?
Apocalypse How?
* The system is collapsing. Someone downloaded a movie illegally over the internet. So, the MPAA, in their eternal wisdom and rationality, SHUT DOWN THE ENTIRE TOWN'S FREE WI-FI SERVICE.
Here's an example: Someone at a Panera Bread downloads 2012, because they can't wait for it to come out on video. It is illegal, obviously. The MPAA then shuts down the ENTIRE TOWN'S FREE WI-FI. So no one at the library can check their Email, no one at Starbucks can do their office work, nobody can do anything, unless they have internet at home.
THE POINT IS, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. THIS IS NOT A LOGICAL SOLUTION. If I shoplift a CD from a CD store, you don't shut down the whole store, or SNATCH THE CDs FROM THE HANDS OF OTHER CUSTOMERS.
And then the MPAA shuts down all the internet, forever, and we all die, the end.
Epic!Fail
* I am not religious, but I have no problem with religion. I enjoy learning about it, and have nothing but respect for people who have a spiritual side to their lives. That being said, there IS such a thing as overreacting:
OK. If she believes that, that's fine. I have no say in the private beliefs systems of others. BUT, I'm not sure that freaking out and suing the state because you don't want to get fingerprinted is the right course of action. Because then you become the crazy religious nut who thinks fingerprinting will damn her to eternal torment, and wants money for her pain and suffering.'
The thing is, if you read the article all the way through, the lady doesn't seem psycho. At all. She is willing to undergo the background check, and doesn't force her views upon her students. She simply doesn't want to to be fingerprinted.
So where's the Epic!Fail here? It's sort of goes all around: The teacher shouldn't have sued, because that brings around the press, who make everything 'crazy people OMIGOD' when they get the chance. And the county should have respected her religious convictions. Personally, I have no problem being fingerprinted. But like I said, I'm not religious. So long as the teacher isn't running around her class demanding blood sacrifices of witches, don't make her get fingerprinted. It's not a big deal.
In short, everyone fails.
Daily Hot Guy
[Robert Downey, Jr. In a suit. Staring intently into your soul. I have no idea what we were talking about.]
Books
* You know what, Mr. Ellis? You're mean. This is to be expected, as you are a cruel and demanding God, and I GET THAT. But I love your writing. I bought Crooked Little Vein, and recommended it to pretty much everyone, and when I worked at Barnes & Noble I strategically placed the book in front of best-sellers, earning me many lectures on why that was Wrong. In short, I adore your work.
So your new book, Shivering Sands, is only available online. I shouldn't be complaining (although while we're on the topic of complaints, WHERE THE HELL is your next novel, which I have been LOOKING FORWARD TO READING? HUH?!), but I am an American, and I love me some instant gratification, and I want it NOW, so I can read it immediately.
FINE. I'll buy your amazing collection of essays over the internet, legally, so that the MPAA won't shut down New Jersey's wireless. THEY WOULD.
Doctor Who
* The cover of this CD makes me scream with demented fangirly glee:
[Found at Amazon]
THAT IS DOCTORS NINE AND TEN. YES IT IS. THEY ARE TOGETHER. LV IS A HAPPY GIRL-GEEK.
There's an article, but I can't really get past that picture. MAYBE THE TWO DOCTORS WILL GET TOGETHER AND MAKE IANTO ALL BETTER, YES? Also, Nine was always my favorite, and I apologize for NOTHING.
People I Love
* I never get tired of this video. It's Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig (AKA, Wolverine and James Bond) acting on Broadway. Some fool's cell phone starts ringing. Wolverine and Bond lecture him, IN CHARACTER:
In other news, if you have both James Bond AND Wolverine pissed off at you, it may be time to join Witness Protection. Just a thought.
Stuff To Live
* I want to have a garden JUST SO I CAN BUY THESE PAVING STONES:
[Found at Boing Boing]
I demand these MC Escher paving stones in my life. But quickly, because there is copyright infringement galore, and pretty soon the ghost of Escher while rise from the dead and haunt the shit out of the people who make these, driving them insane, and leaving me without lizard paving stones.
Fandom
* As I always say, I am not a gamer. I LIKE games, but I am not a gamer. I wish I was, but I tend to get distracted and spend hours trying to, I don't know, turn the lights on in Silent Hill, or kill everyone in the entire market in Assassin's Creed, or drunk drive off the Brooklyn Bridge in Grand Theft Auto III. I don't care too much about BEATING the game.
But I have friends who are professional gamers, and therefore I hope they will confirm or deny the validity of this list of the best gaming junk foods.
I may not be a gamer, but I can still eat these things, right? Right?
Now I want nachos.
Glee
* I cannot stop listening to this song.
TEAM PUCK.
- LV
* Moss is nothing if not neat. Title is from The IT Crowd.
* I know, I know. This was a week of FAIL!BLOGGING. I was sick. Like, justifiably sick. But I am mostly recovered, and so I will resume blogging. My apologies.
* Michelle gives the greatest review of Greaser's Palace ever written. Now I want to see this movie. Desperately.
TwiHate
* This is ridiculous:
[Found at Regretsy]
Except for the sparkles, dude could be a guest on Gumby. He doesn't look like Lord Sparkles at all. I make fun of Twilight fans, but none of them would ever buy this pin. I kind of want to take of of Twilight fans. Not in a mean way. I just feel like they need someone to protect them from shameless merchandising. 'Look, guys, if you're going to buy a pin of Edward's head, let's find you one that's a bit more authentic. No, Trudy, you can't use Robert Pattinson's ACTUAL head. That's rude.'
Food!Fail
* Do not read this article if you enjoy: Diet Soda, bread, salads, broccoli, green beans, frozen custard, chili, French onion soup, burgers, potato chips, apple pie, potato soup, or frozen foods.
This article is about strange objects found in food. Decomposing frog? Be right back, vomiting forever.
Politics
* There is a game about the end of the world via Obama. I want to play it, but you have to wait 8 hours to get into the next round, and I'm BUSY in 8 hours. Also I don't care that much. I want a game where you are Levi Johnston, and must impregnate as many politicians' daughters a possible. I'd like a game like that to exist.
Apocalypse How?
* The system is collapsing. Someone downloaded a movie illegally over the internet. So, the MPAA, in their eternal wisdom and rationality, SHUT DOWN THE ENTIRE TOWN'S FREE WI-FI SERVICE.
Here's an example: Someone at a Panera Bread downloads 2012, because they can't wait for it to come out on video. It is illegal, obviously. The MPAA then shuts down the ENTIRE TOWN'S FREE WI-FI. So no one at the library can check their Email, no one at Starbucks can do their office work, nobody can do anything, unless they have internet at home.
THE POINT IS, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. THIS IS NOT A LOGICAL SOLUTION. If I shoplift a CD from a CD store, you don't shut down the whole store, or SNATCH THE CDs FROM THE HANDS OF OTHER CUSTOMERS.
And then the MPAA shuts down all the internet, forever, and we all die, the end.
Epic!Fail
* I am not religious, but I have no problem with religion. I enjoy learning about it, and have nothing but respect for people who have a spiritual side to their lives. That being said, there IS such a thing as overreacting:
A Polk County teacher is suing the state for requiring her to be fingerprinted for a background check, saying it violates her religious freedom.
According to her attorney, Scott Skelton, of Lufkin, Pam McLaurin believes the book of Revelation literally and that getting a fingerprint would bear her the mark of the beast and she would be "be tormented in burning sulfur."
OK. If she believes that, that's fine. I have no say in the private beliefs systems of others. BUT, I'm not sure that freaking out and suing the state because you don't want to get fingerprinted is the right course of action. Because then you become the crazy religious nut who thinks fingerprinting will damn her to eternal torment, and wants money for her pain and suffering.'
The thing is, if you read the article all the way through, the lady doesn't seem psycho. At all. She is willing to undergo the background check, and doesn't force her views upon her students. She simply doesn't want to to be fingerprinted.
So where's the Epic!Fail here? It's sort of goes all around: The teacher shouldn't have sued, because that brings around the press, who make everything 'crazy people OMIGOD' when they get the chance. And the county should have respected her religious convictions. Personally, I have no problem being fingerprinted. But like I said, I'm not religious. So long as the teacher isn't running around her class demanding blood sacrifices of witches, don't make her get fingerprinted. It's not a big deal.
In short, everyone fails.
Daily Hot Guy
[Robert Downey, Jr. In a suit. Staring intently into your soul. I have no idea what we were talking about.]
Books
* You know what, Mr. Ellis? You're mean. This is to be expected, as you are a cruel and demanding God, and I GET THAT. But I love your writing. I bought Crooked Little Vein, and recommended it to pretty much everyone, and when I worked at Barnes & Noble I strategically placed the book in front of best-sellers, earning me many lectures on why that was Wrong. In short, I adore your work.
So your new book, Shivering Sands, is only available online. I shouldn't be complaining (although while we're on the topic of complaints, WHERE THE HELL is your next novel, which I have been LOOKING FORWARD TO READING? HUH?!), but I am an American, and I love me some instant gratification, and I want it NOW, so I can read it immediately.
FINE. I'll buy your amazing collection of essays over the internet, legally, so that the MPAA won't shut down New Jersey's wireless. THEY WOULD.
Doctor Who
* The cover of this CD makes me scream with demented fangirly glee:
[Found at Amazon]
THAT IS DOCTORS NINE AND TEN. YES IT IS. THEY ARE TOGETHER. LV IS A HAPPY GIRL-GEEK.
There's an article, but I can't really get past that picture. MAYBE THE TWO DOCTORS WILL GET TOGETHER AND MAKE IANTO ALL BETTER, YES? Also, Nine was always my favorite, and I apologize for NOTHING.
People I Love
* I never get tired of this video. It's Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig (AKA, Wolverine and James Bond) acting on Broadway. Some fool's cell phone starts ringing. Wolverine and Bond lecture him, IN CHARACTER:
In other news, if you have both James Bond AND Wolverine pissed off at you, it may be time to join Witness Protection. Just a thought.
Stuff To Live
* I want to have a garden JUST SO I CAN BUY THESE PAVING STONES:
[Found at Boing Boing]
I demand these MC Escher paving stones in my life. But quickly, because there is copyright infringement galore, and pretty soon the ghost of Escher while rise from the dead and haunt the shit out of the people who make these, driving them insane, and leaving me without lizard paving stones.
Fandom
* As I always say, I am not a gamer. I LIKE games, but I am not a gamer. I wish I was, but I tend to get distracted and spend hours trying to, I don't know, turn the lights on in Silent Hill, or kill everyone in the entire market in Assassin's Creed, or drunk drive off the Brooklyn Bridge in Grand Theft Auto III. I don't care too much about BEATING the game.
But I have friends who are professional gamers, and therefore I hope they will confirm or deny the validity of this list of the best gaming junk foods.
I may not be a gamer, but I can still eat these things, right? Right?
Now I want nachos.
Glee
* I cannot stop listening to this song.
TEAM PUCK.
- LV
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