Now voters in New Jersey are having trouble with the stupid electronic machines.
Voter turnout is guaranteed to break records.
Nine hours until the polls closed. Virginia, Indiana, and Georgia close at 7:00 P.M. (well, half of Indiana). Jesus, I have nine hours of this to get through before I see ANY RESULTS?! And Alaska won't close until 1:00 A.M. I'm going to be homicidal AND catatonic, the first time that has ever occurred in history.
Pat Buchanan, why do you continue to support Sarah Palin's existence? It makes me sad. What would Hunter (S. Thompson) say? He'd probably call you a miserable bastard and throw a bottle of alcohol at you.
STOP using the phrase "path to victory" when discussing McCain. You can talk about him all you want, but find a new freaking phrase. It makes me think of a bad old-time movie that they show on Sundays on TNT, right before reruns of Conan and Xena: Warrior Princess.
They've said "path to victory" in this discussion at least five times. Although they seem to be leaning towards "McCain's last stand" as the new "phrase to piss off ElleVee."
Barack Obama is going to campaign in Indiana today. You have to give the man credit, he ain't quitting any time soon.
852,247 people on Facebook have voted.
"Dance of Democracy" is a phrase I've decided should be used far more often. Dance, Democracy, Dance! Dance, you foolish trollop!
Dan Rather's voice is like God's voice. If he announced Obama was President right now, everyone would quietly pack up their things and go home. Of course, after the 2000 disaster election, where the only idiot bigger than Bush was Gore for not fighting for this win, no news station will ever be caught naming a winner before every last vote is in. Which is disappointing, as I would enjoy the nerve-shattering experience of every news station claiming a different President. Imagine the chaos: someone would declare Ron Paul a winner, and the national alcoholism rate would skyrocket from sheer stress.
Reuters is reporting a tie for Florida. McCain is leading by one point in Indiana.
I keep yelling at the TV, only to be gently reminded that A) They can't hear me, and B) it's a little after ten, and hundreds of thousands of people still need to vote. But I don't care. I am nervous, and intend to stay nervous, until I learn The Truth and either celebrate with alcohol, or console myself with lots of alcohol.
Oklahoma polls close at 8:00 P.M. EST.
Babeland, a sex shop, is giving away free vibrators to those who vote. That's a damn good incentive, and I'm sure there's a joke about politics screwing you in there, but I'll let you write it.
Voter turnout is guaranteed to break records.
Nine hours until the polls closed. Virginia, Indiana, and Georgia close at 7:00 P.M. (well, half of Indiana). Jesus, I have nine hours of this to get through before I see ANY RESULTS?! And Alaska won't close until 1:00 A.M. I'm going to be homicidal AND catatonic, the first time that has ever occurred in history.
Pat Buchanan, why do you continue to support Sarah Palin's existence? It makes me sad. What would Hunter (S. Thompson) say? He'd probably call you a miserable bastard and throw a bottle of alcohol at you.
STOP using the phrase "path to victory" when discussing McCain. You can talk about him all you want, but find a new freaking phrase. It makes me think of a bad old-time movie that they show on Sundays on TNT, right before reruns of Conan and Xena: Warrior Princess.
They've said "path to victory" in this discussion at least five times. Although they seem to be leaning towards "McCain's last stand" as the new "phrase to piss off ElleVee."
Barack Obama is going to campaign in Indiana today. You have to give the man credit, he ain't quitting any time soon.
852,247 people on Facebook have voted.
"Dance of Democracy" is a phrase I've decided should be used far more often. Dance, Democracy, Dance! Dance, you foolish trollop!
Dan Rather's voice is like God's voice. If he announced Obama was President right now, everyone would quietly pack up their things and go home. Of course, after the 2000 disaster election, where the only idiot bigger than Bush was Gore for not fighting for this win, no news station will ever be caught naming a winner before every last vote is in. Which is disappointing, as I would enjoy the nerve-shattering experience of every news station claiming a different President. Imagine the chaos: someone would declare Ron Paul a winner, and the national alcoholism rate would skyrocket from sheer stress.
Reuters is reporting a tie for Florida. McCain is leading by one point in Indiana.
I keep yelling at the TV, only to be gently reminded that A) They can't hear me, and B) it's a little after ten, and hundreds of thousands of people still need to vote. But I don't care. I am nervous, and intend to stay nervous, until I learn The Truth and either celebrate with alcohol, or console myself with lots of alcohol.
Oklahoma polls close at 8:00 P.M. EST.
Babeland, a sex shop, is giving away free vibrators to those who vote. That's a damn good incentive, and I'm sure there's a joke about politics screwing you in there, but I'll let you write it.
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