Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Day - 12:00 P.M.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been blogging for five hours. Seven hours until the polls close. I'm drinking Diet. Dr. Brown's Black Cherry Soda, and have a full case of Fresca, and five more of these caffeine-filled babies. And alcohol, for later.

The View doesn't really count as 'news' per say, but I do like watching Elizabeth Hasselback temper-tantrum like a spoiled infant over poor John McCain, and how evil Barack Obama is. Even this morning she was yelling about Reverend Wright. I can't even work up the energy to roll my eyes anymore. We get it. You dislike the man. He is the root of all evil, and may in fact be responsible for the New Coke debacle.

Sherri Shepherd was on target today, and usually she's kind of a drip. She pointed out that the McCain party has been swiftboating Obama since the beginning of the campaign, and Hasselbeck nearly shot venom out of her nostrils. Then Shepherd earned my respect for the day, and possibly the week, by pointing out that if Hasselbeck is so worried about integrity, why isn't anyone up in arms over McCain leaving his DISFIGURED wife for after her tragic car accident for Cindy "Crypt-Keeper" McCain. How's that for integrity, you cantankerous old lech? Oh, but that's OK, because she's blonde and rich. And Elizabeth Hasselbeck sulked in the corner during the Dennis Hopper interview. I hope her handlers up her meds for the day; she's going to need them.

Susan Molinari looks very unhappy on MSNBC.

Two obscenely cute little kids just discussed how Obama won their school's election, by what margin, and what they'd like to do when they grown up. They were very poised. One was younger than my brother. If my brother was put in front of a camera with thousands of people watching, and people dressed up as donkeys and elephants cavorting behind him, he would have howled, "I BELIEVE IN GODZILLA!" kneed the elephant, and possibly mugged a sweet little old lady. Clearly, my family should not be allowed near the political arena.

I laugh every time I hear them say Dixville Notch. Because I am immature and sick of watching people stand in line.

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