Election Day - 2:00 P.M.

By the end of this day, I may wish I was a zombie. Not in the 'eating people is fun, although that Jonathon Coulton song makes me wonder' sense, but more 'I am dead inside and feel nothing because I have been frantically typing, researching, and watching the news since 7:00 A.M., with breaks only to use the bathroom and smoke the occasional cigarette, and by the time this is done I will barely have the energy to drag my feet slowly through the house, groaning at anyone unlucky enough to cross my path. And maybe biting them, depending on who wins the election.' I'll be an intellectual zombie. If McCain wins, I'm starting a rumor that the Zombie Apocalypse is coming, and he's the cause. It will make me smile, as I weep over the state of our nation. I have NEVER claimed to be unbiased.There's so much information, but most of it is useless. More than half of the state of Colorado has already voted. My aunt who lives there voted for the Opposition. This election is remarkably emotional. People are crying as they vote, overwhelmed by their choices.Otherwise, most of this stuff is boring. A quick channel-surf:* CNN is talking about the length of lines in Colorado (they're short), and early voting shows more Democrats voting than Republicans. They're saying Obama might carry the state. Oh, I hope they do, if only so I can mock my uptight aunt who lives there. Now they're discussing Obama's basketball habit.* CNBC is having a 'Power Lunch,' debating how many seats the Democrats can hope to get in the Senate.* MSNBC is showing McCain and Giuliani in a love-fest at Yankee Stadium while he does an on-air interview. Giuliani sounds like Martin Scorcese on the phone, if Martin had taken up a crack habit to rival Amy Winehouse. * Thirteen is discussing Obama's relationship with the Civil Rights Movement. * News 12 New Jersey is in Chicago, admiring Obama's home state, and looking at McCain's frantic campaigning in Arizona. I hope McCain gets a good long nap after this. The dude is old, and he's been campaigning like a demon. I give credit where it's due.That's all the news I can find at the moment. If you can call it that. Polls start closing in five hours. That's a lot of time to kill quibbling over the politician's history, and what they're doing right now. I've just got this blog, and I'm amazed by how dull most of this is. Here's a list of when the polls close, because this has been a dull hour so far. All times are EST, because those are the ones I care about.6:00 P.M.* Indiana (Part)* Kentucky (Eastern half)7:00 P.M.* Florida (Mostly) (BATTLEGROUND STATE)* Georgia* Indiana (The rest of the state)* Kentucky (The rest of the state)* South Carolina* Vermont* Virginia (BATTLEGROUND STATE)7:30 P.M.* North Carolina* Ohio (BATTLEGROUND STATE)* West Virginia8:00 P.M.* Alabama* Connecticut* Delaware* District of Columbia* Florida (The rest of the state) (BATTLEGROUND STATE)* Illinois* Maine* Maryland* Massachusetts* Michigan (Mostly)* Mississippi* Missouri* New Hampshire* New Jersey (Go Jersey!)* Oklahoma* Pennsylvania (Hi Kaje!) (BATTLEGROUND STATE)* South Dakota (Eastern half)* Tennessee* Texas (Mostly)8:30 P.M.* Arkansas (Which is very lonely in this time slot)9:00 P.M.* Arizona* Colorado (BATTLEGROUND STATE)* Kansas*Louisiana* Michigan (The rest of the state)* Minnesota* Nebraska* New Mexico* New York* Rhode Island* South Dakota (The rest of the state)* Texas (The rest of the state)* Wisconsin* Wyoming10:00 P.M.* Idaho (Southern half)* Iowa* Montana* Nevada* North Dakota (Eastern half)* Oregon (Eastern half)* Utah11:00 P.M.* California* Idaho (The rest of the state)* North Dakota (The rest of the state)* Oregon (The rest of the state)* Washington12:00 A.M.* Alaska (Mostly)1:00 A.M.* Alaska (The rest of the state) (Because Alaska just HAS to be different. Kidding, I'm kidding. Alaska is lovely. It's just depressing to think I'll still be awake at 1:00 in the morning)Doesn't battleground state make you imagine the robots from Transformers engaged in epic battle, one painted blue the other red, tearing up the landscape as they make war for their chosen candidate? Wouldn't elections be infinitely more awesome if giant robot battles determined our future? Hell, it would make the news more entertaining.

moreless