Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Day - 11:00 A.M.

FOX News is already trying to manipulate the goddamn vote. Mike Carvin (whose parents lived across the street from my aunt and uncle - small, scary world) is on discussing soldiers from Virginia who are overseas and claiming that they're being disenfranchised. Carvin is suggesting they wait ten days to count their votes.

Now, everyones vote should count. Not 'especially' men and women serving. Everyone's vote should count equally. Whether you are fighting in Iraq or going to work every day, your vote should count. Those soldiers should absolutely have their votes count. That goes without saying. But waiting ten days will kill me. If it's a really close race, OK, I get it, and I'm sure the losing side will kick up enough shit to get the attention they want on this matter. But ten days. Guys, if this goes to ten days of waiting, I'm not blogging it. You'll be bored, and I'll lose what's left of my mind, and my poor blog will collapse from the weight of my angst. And I don't think the country can wait ten days. I really don't.

Anyone remember the 2000 Election? Does this country learn NOTHING from its past mistakes? Or is FOX News stuck in an eternal loop from 2000, still reveling in the glory days when THEY correctly predicted the next President? I don't know.

"Why is Election Day always on a Tuesday? And why is it always in November?" Yes, FOX News. Yes. Because in these tense times, these are the questions America is asking. This is what we need to know on a day that will "go down in history." As always, a beacon of wisdom and sense in a chaotic and turbulent world, shining light in our darkest hours. Thank you, FOX News (and the newscaster lady with the insane blonde hair). Thank you.

Note: I said I'd watch all the news channels - I never said I'd be happy about it. You can't expect me to be nice to FOX News.



OK, this makes me want to be a little nice to FOX News. Or at least Shepard Smith, who seems like he might actually have a brain. He must be lonely at his job. The whole thing is bizarre Joe The Plumber madness, but the real hilarity comes from Smith himself at about 5:16.

See? I can be "Fair and Balanced!" I win!

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