Friday, January 8, 2010

Dance With Us, GIR! Dance With Us Into Oblivion!



Blog
* I see no way this could end badly. Title is from Invader Zim.

Movie!Fail
* Behold a list of the 25 worst horror movies of the decade. A definitive list, I might say, because the Nicolase Cage remake of Wicker Man is the most hideous hunk of cinematic excrement ever shat out of the system. IT IS WORSE THAN TRANSFORMERS 2. IT IS THE LAST THING YOU SEE BEFORE YOU DIE. AND WTF WITH THE BEES? AND THE PLOT? YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE ONE OF THE BEST HORROR MOVIES EVER, AND TURN THIS

[Yes, that IS Christopher Lee, and he IS going to destroy you with the power of his voice]
INTO THIS:

[WHERE DID THE BEES COME FROM? DID I MISS THE BEES IN THE ORIGINAL?]

In conclusion, Nicolas Cage ruins everything, and I sincerely hope Ron Perlman EATS him in the movie they're doing together.

Comics
* Comics speak nothing but truth. So if they say knowledge hurts my tiny, girly brain, IT IS TRUE. Also low self esteem, being just-friends, and CLOWNS.

Knowledge
* All this input, and we're still a goddamn stupid society:

[Found at World's Best Ever]
I'd rather kill zombies than LEARN THINGS. What?

Words of Win
* I AM NEVER GOING IN A PUBLIC POOL AGAIN:
According to a survey taken by the Water Quality and Health Council, 17% of Americans—that's roughly 1 in 6— admit that they've peed in a public pool.


Daily Hot Guy

[Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who I liked before all of you (I liked him in Angels In the Outfield, WHAT WHAT), so therefore I get him. That's how the universe works. I just decided. Shut up.]

Epic!Win
* OMG. THE BIG LEBOWSKI GOT ALL SHAKESPEARED UP:
BLANCHE: Now thou seest what happens, Lebowski, when the agreements of honourable business stand compromised. If thou wouldst treat money as water, flowing as the gentle rain from heaven, why, then thou knowest water begets water; it will be a watery grave your rug, drowned in the weeping brook. Pray remember, Lebowski.

TRULY WE LIVE IN BLESSED TIMES.

Food!Win
* It is very, very cold, so I demand someone make me this:

[Found at Cooking On The Side]
It's honey-oatmeal bread. Make it for me. BUT NO RAISINS. GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND A SINGLE RAISIN BESMIRCHING THE DELICIOUS HONOR OF MY BREAD.

Nostalgia!Win
* When I was a kid, we didn't have Peter Jackson with his amazing movies and sexy actors acting out The Lord of the Rings trilogy. We didn't have Christopher Lee as Sauruman. WE HAD CARTOONS. Yes, kids, gather round Granny Elle. We had cartoons. But not cute little cartoons. No, we had the most twisted, FUCKED UP cartoons ever created by the hand of man.
LOOK AT THE HOBBIT:

[Found at Cover Shut]
HOLY SHIT. And now the Lord of the Rings cartoon trilogy is coming out on DVD, and it will traumatize a whole new generation of kids. NOW GET OFF MY LAWN, AND FETCH GRANNY ELLE A GIN AND TONIC.

Want
* If I have to explain why I want a Mario question block coin candy box THING, you have not been paying attention to this blog:

[Found at Neatorama]
Plus, if someone annoyed you, you could bash them over the head with the box, and then cheer when candy flies out. But if the person doesn't get up, have an alibi. Common sense.

Interwebz
* WIN.

[Found at Neatorama]
ROFLMFAO EPIC WIN.

Whut?
An Erie woman set a chair on fire and twice stabbed a door during an argument in her West 18th Street apartment early Thursday, police said.

That's show.... the other chairs.... and doors... in her apartment....

Girly!Want
* OMIGOD I NEED THESE SHOES IN MY CLOSET:

[Found at ShoeLust]
And they're 30% off! What a steal! So they're only....$609.00. Oh. If you need me, I'll be crying in the corner.

Life Lessons
* I do love winter, but it's FREEZING ALL THE TIME:

[Found at Indexed]

OK, kiddos. Happy Friday.
- LV

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