Blog* Twinkies and Tallahassee: A perfect combination. Title is from Zombieland, which I would like to be out on DVD NOW, so I could watch it and be joyous.* Did you happen to notice the wee little DONATE button over to the right there? Well, you know what to do with it, if you're so inclined. More money means more funny!.... I shame us all.* Go listen to the musical kick-assery that is Danielle Lavigne. RIGHT NOW. DO it. Then check out her website. These are things that will make your life better.Zombies* THIS IS HOW THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE STARTS:Members of a New Mexico family are suing a funeral home, claiming their grandmother's brain was sent home in a bag of personal effects given to them after her death.Grieving families: Check the personal effects before going home. Organs are a different KIND of personal effect, and need plastic bags if you are determined to bring them home.Politics* OK, this cover makes me sort of insane, so if you don't want to read me shouting at InTouch and Sarah Palin, feel free to skip ahead to the next section:[Found at Wonkette]Have you read the cover? Stop staring at Rachel Zoe's collar bones. LOOK A THE BIG PICTURE. OK, BULLET POINTS OF RAGE.
* You CHOSE life. Repeat after me. YOU CHOSE LIFE. CHOICE. SO YOU MADE A CHOICE. BUT YOU HAD A CHOICE. Nobody said, (Yes, I AM quoting The Simpsons again, because it is BRILLIANT), 'No abortions for ANYONE,' or 'Abortions for EVERYONE.' You made a choice. AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU WERE ALLOWED TO MAKE A CHOICE?!* Remember when Bristol said, on national TV, that abstinence education is unrealistic? I DO.AND ON FOX, TOO. So if abstinence is unrealistic, and teaching kids about condoms is a sin, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? Should everyone panic? Arm!flail?* Sarah Palin, STOP USING YOUR BABY AS A PROP. IT'S A BABY. And being the mother of a Down Syndrome baby is incredibly challenging, but you are not the first person. You are not a HERO for loving a special needs child. You're SUPPOSED to love your baby. It's a BABY.* Look, nobody LIKES abortion. Nobody is going, 'YIPPEE abortion!' It is a terrible choice to make, and has many ethical, moral, spiritual, and emotional points. THE POINT IS, it is a CHOICE. So, Sarah Palin and her daughter could afford to choose life? That's great. Not everyone can. I don't feel I have the right to tell ANYONE ELSE how to live their lives. I have enough trouble running my own. BUT GAH. THERE IS SO MUCH WRONG HERE. Can every family afford to support their teenager AND the teenager's baby?* WHY IS INTOUCH MAGAZINE BECOMING A FORUM FOR THESE SORTS OF DISCUSSIONS? GO BACK TO CELEBRITY CELLULITE.* You're all looking at the Angelina Jolie article, aren't you? Dangerous Pregnancy would be an excellent band name.Crafts* I can't decide if this is the stupidest hat ever made, or the only hat I have ever needed to own:[Found at Regretsy]No, really, I can't decide. I sort of think I would wear this. A lot. Maybe it's the dumbest hat ever made, AND the only hat you'll ever need. Can't it be both?Epic!Fail* I love the Swedes:A Swedish wife who reckoned her son's treehouse was the best place to check hubby's mobe for evidence he'd been playing away had to be freed by police from the elevated bolt-hole, The Local reports.There are so many other places to hide out. Your kids' tree house? You get full points for originality. Well done.Awesome* Pirates or Ninjas? One of the eternal questions, which I am going to solve right now: PIRATE NINJAS. I know, I know, I scare myself with my brilliance. Here's the whole debate, laid out by Wired, although I think if we're going to assume that the ninja will always defeat the pirate, we should specify what TYPE of pirate.Movie!Win* NOTE: All a Nightmare on Elm Street remake links will be labeled as Win, despite my serious reservations about the movie. I WANT IT TO BE GOOD. I DO. I JUST WORRY IT WON'T, and that makes me sad. I love Freddy. Freddy is spectacular and funny and violent and twisted. But I adore Jackie Earle Haley. DO YOU SEE MY CONFLICT? Anyway, watch the new trailer, and see Freddy skewer a teen. It looks good, yes? YES? OH PLEASE DON'T SUCK.Daily Hot Guy[Woody Harrelson, AKA Tallahassee from Zombieland. I love Tallahassee. I have major crush issues. We would drink beer and dine on Twinkies and slay zombies, AND WE HAVE THE SAME HAT. Truly, ours is an eternal love. As eternal as the UNDEAD.]Wow* This may be the greatest notepad ever made:[Found at Unique Daily]But don't look at it while drunk. It could kill you.Animals* BABY PANDA BABY PANDA BABY PANDA:[Found at Huffington Post]THERE ARE NO WORDS, THERE IS ONLY PANDA.Tattoo Of Win* Velveeta cheese is already a part of your body, after eating it only once. A tattoo is unnecessary.[Found at Ugliest Tattoos]* They should invent panda cheese. Not cheese FROM pandas.... I should have thought that through.- LV
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