* Do the people on MSNBC know that Twitter doesn't give them any money? Or do they think, for some strange reason, that they get paid per number of followers? Does MSNBC pay its anchors per follower? Because that could be the next AIG scandal, and the irony is, we'd all Tweet about it! HAHA.* My uncle, who is amazing beyond WORDS, sent me this link of goodness. He knows me so well. This is my favorite, because it's scary and adorable, and if I'd been a small child and this had been on the market, I would have bought about ten, and probably poked my little eyes out, by accident: . Then again, the Kill Bill one is pretty sweet too. * I think Wonkette should start paying me for advertising. But when they write articles like this, I can't help but love them. And yes, I did for a second think they were talking about a different kind of Rorschach, and YES, that is partly why I linked to this post. Leave me alone. I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING.* For all the people who were impressed by my demented and frightening awesome and totally normal Watchmen memorabilia, here is one item that I do not possess, and don't really want, because they would make me look like I have giant duck feet (I do not): Although I kind of do want to buy them for the men in my life. * IS NOTHING SACRED? CAN THERE BE ONE THING THAT ISN'T !@#$ing REMADE?! And what's with this cast? Who looks at Sean Penn in Dead Man Walking and thinks, "Yep, that is a man who would be HILARIOUS with his eyes poked"? And Benicio? You go from Che to this? The Farrelly brothers made The Heartbreak Kid, which actually is so dumb it causes cancer, and Stuck On You which inexcusably made me want to hurt both Greg Kinnear AND Matt Damon, two actors I normally adore (you should really all go rent Auto Focus. Kinnear was fantastic as Bob Crane). And YES, There's Something About Mary was very funny, we all enjoyed it, but it's been what, a decade? THIS DOES NOT BODE WELL FOR ANYONE. And Jim Carrey gets one freebie for making Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. This is it.* I don't care who the hell they get to direct this, I will not be seeing a movie with a tiny alien and a girl who can't work a hairbrush. Unless Quentin Tarantino directs it. Then I'll swallow my pride.* This goes under the heading: Things That I Have Suffered Through, For The Readers, And Now You Have To, Because I Can't Be The Only One With This Shit In My Head: * This seems like a bad idea in the making, but I'm willing to reserve judgement, because Ron Howard narrated "Arrested Development," and is therefore harder than Jesus and cooler than Buddha. I WANT DETAILS ON THE MOVIE. STOP BEING SO SECRETIVE.* Going to see if I can get my tattoo touched up today. And find out about the next one (how much it will cost, where the hell I should get it, etc.) * Dear Universe: Let's get rid of Twilight, OK? You will not make me love it. Because it's stupid and boring and badly written, and Edward Cullen is not sexy/cool/interesting, and Bella is a subservient twat, and the plot is moronic, and VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE. Fans can have their fandom (I have no problem with loving weird shit), but really Universe, you are INUNDATING me with information on how often the girl from the movie insults her fans, or how rarely Robert Pattinson (or whatever) doesn't bathe, or who's directing the next movie. I really don't care, and this is NOT NEWS. Keep it on websites where that's appropriate. Away from me. Because, really, I do not get it. If someone wants to explain it, fine. Please do. But Twilight baffles me. I read the first two books, I GAVE IT A SHOT. But... dear God. It's so bad it actually depresses me. OK, Life Calls. - LVPS HI IN PUERTO RICO!PPSS Why is it so goddamn cold and rainy? Is Spring cancelled, due to the recession?PPPSS Oh, and shit like THIS really make me not want to study for the LSATs, and just go find Russell Brand (for obvious reasons) until shit goes all Dr. Strangelove. Because if you're going to go, there are worse ways than going while being in the rock-god presence of Mr. Brand.
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