Monday, March 30, 2009

Third Degree Burns Are Not An Ideal Way To Start Off Your Week

* So I just dumped scalding hot coffee all over my hand, because the handle of the coffee pot fell off. Happy Monday!

* I am, for the moment, and at least to the public, DONE buying Watchmen merchandise. Because yesterday as a gift I got Absolute Watchmen, which is like crack in book form, AND The Film Companion, which is like weed in book form. I think I'm dangerously close to crossing the line from 'cheerfully eccentric' to 'frightening, batshit crazy!girl.'

* My friend Arre got me the coolest dress ever, from her job. The fact that it's yellow and black has NOTHING to do with my adoration of said dress. Pictures to come, when my hair is not frightening.

* I did not bomb on the LSAT Diagnostic test, like I expected to. Which is nice, although this awful bitch in my class was all, 'Oh, I only went up THREE POINTS' to the whole class, which is even more obnoxious considering that statistically speaking everyone goes down on the second diagnostic test. But even if you got a perfect score and discovered the cure for cancer, would you announce it to the whole class? Such behavior earns you the risk of your car getting torched. Did I mention this woman is in her forties or fifties, and therefore the oldest person in the class, and THEREFORE supposed to be more mature? I hate her, a lot. Grow up.

* Speaking of Watchmen merchandise that completely undermines the book/movie and yet I still secretly sort of want (and by 'want' I mean 'have somebody buy it for me, because even I am not crazy enough to spend money on this sort of shit'): You can read a rather brilliant take on it here at the International Society of Supervillains.

* I'm not a Star Wars fan by any means (after taking my little brother to see the cancer-causing Clone Wars animated movie, who could blame me?), but this is still very amusing:

* TRUE. And therefore a little less funny and a little more scary:

* This either made Watchmen even better, if that's possible, or ruined it for me forever. I still can't decide. And now I keep imagining Ozymandias wearing a long wig and attempting to seduce Nite Owl, and then SUCCEEDING.

* The world is a strange, fucked-up place: (NSFW, as there are plastic nipples that you BUY, for monies, in this link).

* Is it time ALREADY for me to start gearing up for the release of The Rum Diary? I know I've got about another year before it gets released, but pictures like this don't help me keep my Hunter S. Thompson love under any sort of control: . You can read the article here that accompanies the picture. And even though the author is making a joke out of Johnny Depp filming all of Thompson's books, my reaction is, "HELL YEAH. DO IT, JOHNNY DEPP. WE ALL NEED MORE GONZO IN OUR LIVES. FILM FEAR & LOATHING ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL NEXT." Because you see, Hunter S. Thompson is God, and us lowly mortals must worship him by any means possible.

* How the HELL did it slip by me that Sam Rockwell's going to be in the next Iron Man movie? I am ashamed by my ignorance. Because I think Rockwell is a great actor (he was even badass in Charlie's Angels, which is a guilty pleasure of mine because it also has Crispin Glover being even creepier than usual, and that is bizarre enough casting to win me over) who was totally shafted for his great performances in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and Matchstick Men, the second of which makes me cry every time, and is also very funny and proves that Nicolas Cage can still act, when his toupees aren't sucking the grey matter from his ears. What? Anyway, here's a picture of Mr. Rockwell in character (he really is gifted at playing skeevy businessmen), and you can follow Jon Favreau on Twitter, too).

OK, looking on my trusty and beloved IMDB, the only part of the cast that makes me unhappy is Scarlet Jo-whatever. I've come to terms with Gwyneth Paltrow, even though she is the suck. But Scarlet too? Then again, when you Robert Downey, Jr., Sam Rockwell, Mickey 'Joaquin Phoenix Has Shit On Me Because I Am Genuinely Crazy' Rourke, Don Cheadle (although I'm still puzzled over the loss of Terrence Howard), Samuel L. Jackson, and the rumor of Tim Robbins as Tony Stark's dad, you need to accept a tiny bit of The Suck, otherwise the movie might cause spontaneous in-theater orgasms, which could help the opening box office weekend, but make it a little uncomfortable to see with your family.

All for now.
- LV

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