* This wins for Cracked's funniest website on movie posters, ever. I wish American posters were like this. It would make going to the movies fucking terrifying.* Eric Cantor went to a Britney Spears concert. When will this stop being funny? Answer: NEVER.* I do not understand the following image, but I now fully support everything IHOP related, and also want pancakes: * This may be the dumbest/most awesome thing ever, in terms of body art. I just... Look (NSFW, because there is a heinie). Cut up your robes so your tan will be in SHAPES. This is the clothing equivalent of when you go to the beach with your friends, and they fall asleep in the sun, and you write dirty things on them with suntan lotion. Not that I've ever done that.* This is actually very sad. Blender Magazine is closing its print edition. I love this magazine, and I mourn its loss. They had some of the best lists, including The 50 Worst Things Ever To Happen To Music, and The 500 Greatest Songs Since You Were Born. Godspeed, Blender. You will be sorely missed.* The International Society of Supervillians is my new favorite website that makes me giggle like a complete ass, so go read their one-line movie reviews, which are far too accurate. An example of their brilliant reviews:
Pirates of the Caribbean is about how advanced special effects, bombastic action setpieces, and elaborately choreographed swordfights aren’t nearly as entertaining as a slightly drunk Johnny Depp.* Watchmen + "Arrested Development" = THE GREATEST EXPLOSION OF DELIRIOUS FANGIRL JOY EVER: * This is Jackie Earle Haley (AKA Rorschach, for the two people out there still confused over what I've been shrieking about the past few months) Photoshopped as Freddy Kreuger for the new Nightmare On Elm Street movie. I am against this movie up and until Haley is cast as Freddy. Then I am for it. Also, I have been gently informed that this is not supposed to be attractive. Duly noted: * I am neutral on Spider-Man 4. Kirsten Dunst has always pissed me of, James Franco has left the franchise, and Tobey Maguire has become kind of sclhubby, only not in a charming or interesting way. On the other hand, Sam Raimi. And Spider-Man is a solid super-hero. On the other, other hand: Spider-Man 3 was awful and a little bit terrifying, and Tobey Maguire's hair was very Hot Topic, and they completely SCREWED UP the comics. But Spider-Man 2 was pretty incredible. But not as good as Iron Man, or Dark Knight, V For Vendetta, or Watchmen. But much better than From Hell, Fantastic Four, Catwoman, Daredevil, Elektra, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen or Spider-Man 3. So I'll be neutral, until I see who the villains are, and maybe they can recast Mary Jane with someone I don't want to beat senseless with a crowbar.* Sarah Palin is really, really fucking insane. Nobody would pray with her (in case you've been in a media blackout for the past day or so), because the McCain camp are evil heathens who rape puppies and worship Cockroach Gods and, I don't know, like Hillary Clinton). See, I like this stuff, because A) I am not a Republican, and B) insane people make for good TeeVee. And this woman is out of her fucking skull. And will most likely run for the Republican nomination in 2012. If the world doesn't end in 2012 (as I've been told repeatedly it will), we are in for a fucking AWESOME Republican bitch-fest. Because....* Michael Steele will run for President too, if God gives him the thumbs-up (haha, Michael Steele. Obviously God is pissed that you had the AUDACITY to suggest that women should be able to choose what to do with their own organs), so in conclusion God is going to smite the fuck out of all of us because of the Republican contenders, and the Rapture will be no fun for anyone, the end.* Found a great tattoo place, not too far from me. Well, in the same state. Nice guys, clean place, very professional. Looking good. I just need to get a consultation on my next tattoo, and they said they'd touch up my other one for free. WIN. Check it out, if you're looking for a good place in Jersey (although I haven't yet been inked there, so I'm basing a lot of this on first impressions).Time to do some work, and study, and work out, and take over a small country, and find a cure for shortness. Or not.- LV
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