Saturday, March 28, 2009

Saturdays Suck, Part 1

I am not in the mood to drive half an hour to take another LSAT Diagnostic Test, then drive half an hour home. I'm just not. Tests are not fun, especially on Saturday. Saturday is a day for recovering from hangovers and getting into trouble. Except if you're me. I fail at Saturdays.

* I know this is awful, but it makes me laugh hysterically, and want to feel the burn. The sheer, terrifying burn of being chased by a mad vigilante:

* Watched Little Children again last night (the grandparents were visiting, so I was house-bound, even if I wasn't interacting with them because we start screaming about politics, and I get upset and have to go away for a bit after each conversation and listen to soothing music) and it disturbed me just as much as it did the first time! Yay for not being jaded! I kind of liked Patrick Wilson more in Watchmen - he's beautiful in this movie, and his ass is kind of life-changing, but I now have a soft-spot for schlubby weeping Wilson. As for Jackie Earle Haley, it is a CRIME that he didn't get the Oscar. Watch this movie. Then Watch Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine. Then feel the SHAME of the wrong man winning an Oscar. Although I have to admit, the whole time I was watching it, the crazy little part of my brain that has nothing to do with sanity kept wondering, 'Rorschach, why are you letting them treat you this way? Stop being sad and start killing the sinners! There are FORNICATORS RIGHT THERE.' Also, besides the obvious sob-inducing scenes (and cringe-inducing), I get so teary every time he leaves the hospital with that little pink suitcase. It may be the most depressing pink suitcase ever made. AND HE BROUGHT HER CHOCOLATES. This movie makes me sad for so many reasons. And JEH is genius - he's a completely different person than he was in Watchmen. It really feels like you're watching a different actor. Bravo, sir.

* With the joy of comics finally be accepted as a valid (and ass-kicking) art form, and major movies with actual scripts and actors and directors being made of said comics, comes the horror that now EVERY comic is going to get a movie. Including gay mermen and Bug People.

Although Green Hornet should be good. Then again, Scarlet Johannsen (I will NOT look up the spelling of her name. I REFUSE) is going to be in the sequel. Then AGAIN, Mickey Rourke is, too. And Mickey Rourke + Robert Downey, Jr. may be THE MOST AWESOME PAIRING SINCE CHOCOLATE AND NOUGAT. Think about it.

* This makes me want to buy an X-Box, just so I can buy the Watchmen game, which I would suck at because the only game I've ever been really gifted at is Mortal Kombat Trilogy. Interpret that as you will. (I was also good at Starfox for Nintendo 64. What happened to that game? It was awesome, and you did Barrel Rolls for Freedom, and Falco made sarcastic quips all the time. But I hated the girl. Was she a frog? Why do I remember this so clearly, yet I can't recall what I had for breakfast, 35 minutes ago?)

* In the wake of Shamwow Guy's Hysterical Hooker Arrest, this picture is even funnier:

* And, to show I still pay attention to politics, albeit it in the most shallow and immature way physically possible, here is a link to an article about one dude from the Senate making jokes and riding the other dude's wife. Classy, as alway.

* Maybe more, later. Maybe. If I get enough hits, and you all decide to start a cult devoted to the awesome of ME, or you somehow ship Jackie Earle Haley to my house in Rorschach garb. He has a kid the same age as me. Should this bug me? I've decided that No, it should not.

* Finally, here's an Interactive Zombie Movie, to give you something to while away the long, lonesome hours of the weekend. Your welcome. If you live.
- LV

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