Tuesday, October 20, 2009

In Mexico, You Know What They Call Twinkies? 'Los Submarinos.'

Blog
* Fuck, man, let's go to Mexico! Title is from Zombieland.

* Miss Banshee has started making motivational posters, which only increases her already dizzying level of win:

Seriously, she should adopt me, and raise me as her own.

* Theresa learns me some comics, this time Astro City. Her brain has powers. AMAZING powers. Honestly, if you want a guide to comics, there's no better place to turn.

* I'll feed the plants. I'll feed them people I dislike!

[Drawn by Erin]
Does that require getting close to them? Because that could be a problem.

* It's all Patience's fault that I like memes. And knitting. I think I can blame her for most of the cool things I like. Also, I owe her a zombie hand turkey. It makes sense to ME.

Glee
* NOOOAAAAGGGGHHHHHH, etc. They are pulling the Glee cast from the Macy's parade. Why would they do that? There's no reason for such CRUELTY. I am devastated now. I mean, the parade has become a pile of suck. It's really not very good anymore. And Glee is pure, unadulterated glory. Seriously, it can do no wrong. Have you SEEN the show? There is life before Glee and after Glee, and after is infinitely better.

Doctor Who
* The only thing maybe better than Jude Law's Hamlet? David Tennant's Hamlet, in large part because A) He is Scottish, and B) He is the goddamn DOCTOR. He will wreck you with his powers. And David Tennant's Hamlet is airing on Christmas Day. Of course, this in no way guarantees that those of us trapped in the U.S. Yet ANOTHER reason I should move to England. Someone buy me a ticket.

Fandom
* As I always say, I am not a Star Wars fan:

[Found at The World's Best Ever]
But I think I could get behind Kitty Wars.

People I Love
* In honor of John Hughe's passing, this dude recreated the entire day from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Which is the best sick day movie, ever, you know. And there's an itinerary, and I wish I had been there, and I love you, Dude From Chicago, because really, this is a totally epic way to spend a day of your life. You are my hero.

Stuff To Live
* I write this blog in the morning, usually. If it's a good day, I have caffeine coursing through my veins, and can tolerate humanity, to some extent. On bad days, I want to level the city with my cranky. So this is the greatest invention I have ever seen:

[Found at Neatorama]
Of course, this would not be a good invention for anyone around me, unless they were constantly filling the FistiCup with coffee. And then when I finish the coffee, I pound people in the face with it!

I'm joking, obviously. The morning is no time for extreme violence. You need a good solid lunch before you can get your rage on.

Daily Hot Guy

[Jackie Earle Haley as Guererro in Human Target, rocking both the kickasstic glasses and the 'stache.]

Writing
* Could someone loan me $2,000 so I can get tutored by Nalo Hopkinson, a writer I dearly love and admire? She needs money, and I need a mentor, because frankly my writing may be pretty good, but I'd like to reduce the amount of hysterical flailing and procrastinating that occurs during each project. Seriously, someone needs to boss me around with my writing. And Ms. Hopkinson has some health problems, so you'd be doing us both a favor. More me than her - she's already a wonderful, successful author. I just spilled lukewarm coffee on the table.

Movie!Fail
* Oh, Roger Avary. I love you by proxy, because you have been touched by the genius of Quentin Tarantino. Even though you sometimes do awful things that make me sad, like drive drunk, or or make Silent Hill movies. Please don't do these things to me. I am worried enough about Quentin, and what he's wearing, and the life choices he seems to be making, and I don't have time to be concerned about you making a sequel to Silent Hill, which was a terrible, awful movie. And the video game is scary enough. Have you ever played it? It makes me want to cry, and lock myself in a well-lit room with a baseball bat.

By the way, what the hell happened to Quentin Tarantino's Half-Life movie? Did we all forget about that?

TeeVee
* I love Burn Notice. As do all mortals, because Bruce Campbell floats down on a cloud made of Kingliness and drives a sexy car and sometimes pretends to be a crooked cop, which made me cheer, maybe, because it's Bruce Campbell. But we do have to give some credit to the writers, who wrote the character of Sam, thus providing us with Bruce Campbell in Hawaiian shirts. I'm sorry, I was busy hailing to the King, baby.

Anyway, the creator of Burn Notice, Matt Nix, is going to make another TV show, and I think we all need to watch it and support it and make it a huge hit, lest we incur the chinny wrath of Bruce Campbell. How would he know, you ask? Oh, you naive fool. Bruce Campbell knows all. Didn't you SEE Bubba Ho-Tep?

Plus, Mr. Nix's show is going to be on FOX, and I STILL don't trust them. I REMEMBER ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT AND FIREFLY.

Geek Want
* I'm not a big gamer (my gaming career started with Echo: The Dolphin and Sonic: The Hedgehog, and ended with Mortal Kombat: Trilogy, although I did play some of the Grand Theft Auto games because I simply didn't believe there was a game where the goal was to screw hookers), but I do love Assassin's Creed. Oh, I never beat it. I didn't even try. I simply got to a middle level, and set about slaughtering everyone in my path, then sneaking off like a NINJA. It's good stress relief. I don't even know the goal of the game, unless it's to kill EVERYONE in the marketplace, in which case I totally won.
I think that you should get one of these if you beat the game:

[Found at Like Cool]
I'd most likely fall on it, because I am clumsy and not an assassin, but OH MY GOD IT'S AN EXTENDABLE KNIFE THING, and DUDE.

This was a violent blog entry. Let's all hug now:


There. I feel better, don't you?
- LV

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