Surrender, Small Mammal!

Blog* I want an excuse to say this in daily life. Title is from Bone.I really do adore Erin's work, but seriously:[Drawn by Erin]Dude, he is like TOO CUTE. I want to HUG the serial killer. My first reaction to Freddy, child killer and twisted bastard, should not be, "DAW! It's OK, Freddy! I shall hug you and love you." He looks so SAD. I love him. He looks chagrined! And his widdle claw! And his HAT! I'm going to blame this on Erin. She's too talented. I want a squeezable Freddy doll. But he's EVIL. But he feels BAD about it! Look how she's confusing me!* Megan reminds me that Dominic Monaghan is super hot, which reminds me he's going to be on FlashForward with Seth Macfarlane, who's also super-hot and has a voice of PRON, and Joseph Fiennes and John Cho aren't exactly rough on the eyes, and now I'll be in my bunk.Oh, and Salad Fingers is still scary as hell. You shouldn't be allowed to show those videos anymore. * DEADPOOL! Theresa is the high priestess of all things Deadpool. I just decided. And she teaches us important lessons, like why Deadpool rules, and how you can break the fourth wall, and that liquor makes Deadpool even meaner! More importantly, I think someone needs a webseries about Widdle Wade and Snuggly Freddy, narrated by Dominic Monaghan. Vampires* EW. An energy drink that has the look and nutritional value of blood. Let me say that again, for the cheap seats: EW.[Found at Geekologie]And here's the part that really bugs me: It tastes like fruit punch. It has the consistency of BLOOD, but tastes like FRUIT PUNCH. That's disgusting. I don't know why, out of all the ick this product possesses, that the flavor would bother me so intensely. Let's be clear: This product is either going to be purchased A) as a gag gift for some reason, or B) Because they really, really want to be vampires. Now, the first group doesn't give a shit what it tastes like. It's doubtful they'll drink it, or if they do it will be mixed with booze. The second group wants AUTHENTICITY. Or not fruit-punch flavored synthetic blood. They're more likely to imbibe tomato juice or red wine. It's cheaper, for one thing.And I know this is all about the vampire craze sweeping the nation (did I just type that?) but you product people are missing the point by a country mile. It doesn't matter if you're bottling real blood and flavoring it with fruit punch. People are going to buy it if Robert Patinson drinks it. I hate to be so crass, but it's the truth. You do a candid shot of the dude slurping down one of those blood-packs, they won't be able to keep them on the shelves.Although if someone buys this for me, I will drink it. For science. And to freak people out.Ad!Fail* I spend a lot of time screaming at my Mac, because it hates me and sometimes just explodes because it's an ornery little shit. But I love it. And while the Mac/PC commercials have been mocked endlessly (as they should be, although Justin Long is pretty adorable), they are the highest echelon of art compared to this ad for Microsoft:I hate this so much. This makes me want to wreck the internet with my misery. It's awful. This is the worst party ever, including the birthday party I went to as a kid where the magician threw up on the presents. I would never hold a launch party. I like my friends. I would never put them through this. I wouldn't put my ENEMIES through this. I feel sick. I love you, Mac. Never do this to me.I do need to mention that I would bet good money that the old lady wants to beat the shit out of the young lady. They don't like each other. The video would have been improved by total and insane violence.Journalism* Katie Couric's salary is $15 million a year.NPR spends $11 million a year on its morning AND evening show. COMBINED.NPR spends $9.4 million on its foreign bureaus.In other news, the zombie of Edward R. Murrow has been seen rising from the grave and asking for directions to the homes of CBS executives.Art* These are gorgeous pictures that remind me of the images they used to show us as kids, where there's an old lady's face and it becomes a young woman's face, and vice versa, only these are smart. And the phrase 'negative space' would be a sick band name:[Found at SuperBalanced]I chose this picture because it took me ages to see the picture within the picture, and now that I can I feel very smug. Watchmen* I want this lunch box:[Found by SheepTerror at Urban Collector]Because, let's face it, you'd rather me clutch the thing and giggle then see your precious children trying to emulate Rorschach, right? So, really, it would be a public SERVICE if I owned one. Keeping this AWAY from your perfect little spawn.... Fuck it. I'll buy it myself. * Why, when I saw these images, was my first thought, 'I want to bang their heads against a table with GLEE':[Found at Watchmen Comic Movie]These are the cutest things on the whole planet. If THEY teamed up with Widdle Freddy.... the world would be a strange and alarming place, and I'm not sure what I'd do anymore. Yes I do. I'd play Little Big Planet, and have Rorschach solve the puzzles of my HEART.Daily Hot Guy[John Barrowman, AKA Captain Jack Harkness from
and Doctor Who. I'm not mad at YOU, Mr. Barrowman. You seem charming and lovely, and are comfortable being naked, and very funny when interviewed, and you are half of my OTP for
and your kiss with David Tennant features on this blog more often than it really has a reason to. HOWEVER. I am very cross with Captain Harkness, reason: Children of the Earth, and I don't like being angry at fictional characters, because it's INSANE, and kind of pointless. As for you, Mr. Barrowman, I've heard you're quite fabulous in La Cage Aux Folles, and if you're on Desperate Housewives, I'll sit through your episodes, I GUESS. But only because you said the phrase, 'beautiful Welsh vowels.]Comics* Um, guys? Why is there a Tim Gunn comic? I know about this, and have for a while. I just... I don't understand. Why is there a comic of him? Who decided this was a good market? Has anyone read this? Was it any good? A comic about a fashion guru should not raise so many questions.Tattoo Of Win* Doesn't this guy look like Shia LeBouf?[Found at LOLTATZ]He does, right? Right?Moment Of Winsee more Fail BlogRussell Brand* Mr. Brand dresses like the orgasmic, divine god of sex and humor that he is, and I wouldn't want him any other way:[Found at Diary of A Fashion Muse]Have I defended his hair recently? It's wonderful, too.Politics* You don't have to like the President, but you DO have to learn to spell your insults correctly:[Found at Unique Daily]Can we agree on that? I don't care what you say, but your spelling mistakes bother me terribly.* Does anyone else just feel bad for Michael Steele? He seems so lost in his own party? I was going to snark at the guy because this is a stupid statement, but you know what? It's not worth it. Happy Thursday, Mr. Steele. Hope you're doing well.* This video of Nancy Pelosi shedding tears over angry people makes me think of that line from Arrested Development, as uttered by the inimitable Lucille Bluth: 'I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture.'I'm trying to horrify you into a coma.Food* I'm going to roast a porpoise. The internet shows me how. And it's from England. And I'll serve it to Spider Jerusalem, because he is the Patron Saint of weird foods.Celebrity!Fail* Are we all done joking about Kanye West's interruption? Yes? Good, then I will finally post this link to a site about how you can Kanye-fy any website you desire. Because it is no longer popular.This kind of make me laugh, though. And here's this website, Kanye-fied.Yeah, the thrill wears off pretty quickly.Zombies* Who's excited about Zombieland? Answer; Everyone on the planet, ever. Yes, ever. Here are trailers and clips, to increase the delight and fear of the undead within your soul.Apocalypse How?* Uwe Boll made a movie. It didn't suck. Game over.WHY is it so freaking cold in the office? I have had so much caffeine, I can actually see molecules FLOATING in the air. Trufax. - LV

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