Blog
* And when the new movie comes out, it will end in a grisly bloodbath.
People I Love
* My dear internet friend (that sounds weirder than it is) laroux74 sent me this, because she has magical powers and is benevolent and knows things the rest of us can't possibly comprehend:
see more Lol Celebs
Also, SYLAR KITTY.
Remake!Fail
* An American Werewolf in London was a great, fun, scary movie that more people should watch and appreciate. An American Werewolf in Paris was a terrible, confusing movie that was neither funny nor scary, and had slimy werewolves. So forgive me if taking ANOTHER stab at remaking an underrated horror movie does not fill me with unmitigated glee. And it's the company made those Halloween remakes, and you KNOW how I feel about them (hint: it begins with an 'h' and ends with an 'omicidal.'
Star Trek
* I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. But if I had to see this, you have to see it too. I can't be alone in this knowledge, people. This is on par with the horror of Watchwomen. Yes, it's like that. Gird your loins:
Oh, Spock, WHY?!
TeeVee
* I love Torchwood, and I have so many questions about this image from the "Children of Earth" miniseries:
[Found at i09]
- Why is Gwen wearing such an ill-fitting leather jacket?
- Why is nobody looking at anybody else? Did someone fart, and they're all desperately trying not to laugh? Was there an uncomfortable sexual moment seconds before this photo was snapped?
- Why is Ianto's gun so much bigger than anyone else's?
- Why does Ianto look so damn sad? Really, that is a surly little fellow. And if I had gotten the sexings from Captain Jack Harkness, I would never do anything but grin. Does Ianto need a hug?
- Why does Captain Jack continue to prove my theory that guys named Captain Jack are invariably sexy rogues?
It's too early for such questions.
Random
* Is CNN's slogan really, 'Let's go?' ARE YOU SERIOUS? That's the BEST your marketing gurus could come up with? Really? I miss MSNBC. At least then I could count on Pat Buchanan to scream at someone until they gave him a mug of cocoa and a nap.
Journalism
* I use the term 'journalism' loosely when it comes to Bill O'Reilly, but this blog needs to salute Joan Walsh, who made O'Reilly go crazy and lose his shit while she casually pwned him with her rational thought and common sense. Watch the video and laugh at the sad little man. Remember when he sexually harassed that woman? That has nothing to do with anything, but I like to remind people that O'Reilly has NO moral compass. Or if he does, it always points to BATSHIT.
Wow - New Category!
* This category will cover things that amaze/astonish, and in a good way:
[Found at Gawker]
That is the new Sear's Tower observation deck, and I can't decide if I want to live there forever or stay the hell away, because I do have a rational fear of plummeting to my hideous death. But Gawker mentioned Chris Van Allsburg, and that always makes me happy (and if you don't know who he is, I hate you, and you'd better goddamn click here to find out), and I feel like if I went there inspiration for a great book would come right before abject, pants-wetting fear.
Geek Want
* Let me make myself very, very clear here:
[Found at BoingBoing]
If you can make one of these functional, and can find an old copy of Street Fighter, I will marry you. Note: LV reserves the right to not marry you if she doesn't feel like it.
Politics
* Right wing nutjobs (not to be confused with Republicans or conservatives - I am talking about the people who believe Jesus rode the dinosaurs to Freedom before sending them all to hell, and will try to convince you of this with his AK-47) are going to kill us all with their violence and nuttiness. I'd like to say that I'm against killing in general. Except of zombies, because they're already dead. It's one thing to disagree with someone else, or hate the way they live their life. That's FINE. That's your right. However, when you decide to start SHOOTING people who disagree with you, then maybe you need to reexamine your debating skills.
Movie!Fail - Newish Category
* I'm dividing up movies, because I like talking about them. Anyway, once again we will be denied the genius of Terry Gilliam, because we don't deserve it, but mostly because studio executives are assholes who would rather spend money on Saw XIX than a potentially brilliant science fiction film. We get what we deserve. BUT I DESERVE THIS MOVIE, DAMMIT. So let's all send Terry Gilliam money, because he's Terry Gilliam and he made Brazil and Twelve Monkeys and I love him, and I even liked The Brothers Grimm, in large part because it was Terry Gilliam with Matt Damon and Heath Ledger, and it was the first Gilliam movie I ever saw in theaters, and god dammit, the man should get Michael Bay's budget from now on, because Terry Gilliam may frighten and disturb me, but such is the cost of genius.
Harry Potter
* Who wants Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince merchandise? If your answer was not I DO I DO and screaming and tearing of the hair, then don't click this link. And why is an audio book of Alan Rickman coldly mocking everything I say NOT one of the prizes? Probably because it only exists in my mind, but wouldn't you pay for that? I would. It's all about Snape. Don't kid yourself. I wouldn't give a shit about this series (probably) were it not for that complex and incredibly sad character. TEAM SNAPE. I want all this stuff.
WTF, INTERNET?
* Did I ever tell you guys the story about how I got kicked out of CCD (the after-school program where you learn about stuff so you can get communion and confirmation within the Catholic Church) because I refused to give up my Ouija board when I was a young lass? Because I knew it was nothing more than a funny, stupid game, and I found it insane that anyone would take it seriously? Well, if it had looked like this, I don't think I would have had a problem:
[Found at Jezebel]
If I die (ever) and become a ghost, and some little bitch tries to get in touch with my with that Pepto-Bismol colored, sexist piece of crap to ask me if the love of her life this week is going to text her, I will haunt the SHIT out of her. Only dark spirits can come from such a thing. And, seriously, WTF? Why does it have to be pink? Do mine girly eyes on see the more delicate shades? The ones I used in middle school were white, and I saw them JUST FINE. You buy this for a little girl, you're going to wake up with hunks of it jammed down your throat. By the girl, or the evil spirits. It's a toss-up.
Daily Hot Guy
[Christopher Eccleston with the TARDIS, and he's STILL my favorite Doctor, OK?! He was taken from us far too soon, and his eyes are AMAZING and he's sad and sexy, and why can't he appear on a special, DAMMIT?]
Movie!Win - Newish Category
* Look, I like categories. And FOCUS: There might be a Goonies 2, maybe, although I'm still more interested in Lost Boys 3, and YES I love Corey Feldman, always have, and no that does not negatively affect my life, you're all just jealous. Of something. What? I'm sorry, someone switched out my coffee to something with extra espresso. The air is loud in here. GOONIES 2.
Animals
* Can birds fart? Yes. Yes they can. Dinosaurs could burp and fart too. I learned that from Nickelodeon Magazine, before the recession killed it.
More later, most likely. I know I write that almost every morning, but I'm on a surprise vacation. Be grateful. By the way, this blog must soon celebrate the birth of the late Hunter Stockton Thompson. How should we do that? My friend suggested a third tattoo, but those are expensive and I STILL can't decide on a nice image, but we have to honor him SOME WAY. He's A GOD, PEOPLE. Or I could get drunk and shoot of fireworks. In a bikini. He'd appreciate that, yeah?
- LV
* And when the new movie comes out, it will end in a grisly bloodbath.
People I Love
* My dear internet friend (that sounds weirder than it is) laroux74 sent me this, because she has magical powers and is benevolent and knows things the rest of us can't possibly comprehend:
see more Lol Celebs
Also, SYLAR KITTY.
Remake!Fail
* An American Werewolf in London was a great, fun, scary movie that more people should watch and appreciate. An American Werewolf in Paris was a terrible, confusing movie that was neither funny nor scary, and had slimy werewolves. So forgive me if taking ANOTHER stab at remaking an underrated horror movie does not fill me with unmitigated glee. And it's the company made those Halloween remakes, and you KNOW how I feel about them (hint: it begins with an 'h' and ends with an 'omicidal.'
Star Trek
* I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. But if I had to see this, you have to see it too. I can't be alone in this knowledge, people. This is on par with the horror of Watchwomen. Yes, it's like that. Gird your loins:
Oh, Spock, WHY?!
TeeVee
* I love Torchwood, and I have so many questions about this image from the "Children of Earth" miniseries:
[Found at i09]
- Why is Gwen wearing such an ill-fitting leather jacket?
- Why is nobody looking at anybody else? Did someone fart, and they're all desperately trying not to laugh? Was there an uncomfortable sexual moment seconds before this photo was snapped?
- Why is Ianto's gun so much bigger than anyone else's?
- Why does Ianto look so damn sad? Really, that is a surly little fellow. And if I had gotten the sexings from Captain Jack Harkness, I would never do anything but grin. Does Ianto need a hug?
- Why does Captain Jack continue to prove my theory that guys named Captain Jack are invariably sexy rogues?
It's too early for such questions.
Random
* Is CNN's slogan really, 'Let's go?' ARE YOU SERIOUS? That's the BEST your marketing gurus could come up with? Really? I miss MSNBC. At least then I could count on Pat Buchanan to scream at someone until they gave him a mug of cocoa and a nap.
Journalism
* I use the term 'journalism' loosely when it comes to Bill O'Reilly, but this blog needs to salute Joan Walsh, who made O'Reilly go crazy and lose his shit while she casually pwned him with her rational thought and common sense. Watch the video and laugh at the sad little man. Remember when he sexually harassed that woman? That has nothing to do with anything, but I like to remind people that O'Reilly has NO moral compass. Or if he does, it always points to BATSHIT.
Wow - New Category!
* This category will cover things that amaze/astonish, and in a good way:
[Found at Gawker]
That is the new Sear's Tower observation deck, and I can't decide if I want to live there forever or stay the hell away, because I do have a rational fear of plummeting to my hideous death. But Gawker mentioned Chris Van Allsburg, and that always makes me happy (and if you don't know who he is, I hate you, and you'd better goddamn click here to find out), and I feel like if I went there inspiration for a great book would come right before abject, pants-wetting fear.
Geek Want
* Let me make myself very, very clear here:
[Found at BoingBoing]
If you can make one of these functional, and can find an old copy of Street Fighter, I will marry you. Note: LV reserves the right to not marry you if she doesn't feel like it.
Politics
* Right wing nutjobs (not to be confused with Republicans or conservatives - I am talking about the people who believe Jesus rode the dinosaurs to Freedom before sending them all to hell, and will try to convince you of this with his AK-47) are going to kill us all with their violence and nuttiness. I'd like to say that I'm against killing in general. Except of zombies, because they're already dead. It's one thing to disagree with someone else, or hate the way they live their life. That's FINE. That's your right. However, when you decide to start SHOOTING people who disagree with you, then maybe you need to reexamine your debating skills.
Movie!Fail - Newish Category
* I'm dividing up movies, because I like talking about them. Anyway, once again we will be denied the genius of Terry Gilliam, because we don't deserve it, but mostly because studio executives are assholes who would rather spend money on Saw XIX than a potentially brilliant science fiction film. We get what we deserve. BUT I DESERVE THIS MOVIE, DAMMIT. So let's all send Terry Gilliam money, because he's Terry Gilliam and he made Brazil and Twelve Monkeys and I love him, and I even liked The Brothers Grimm, in large part because it was Terry Gilliam with Matt Damon and Heath Ledger, and it was the first Gilliam movie I ever saw in theaters, and god dammit, the man should get Michael Bay's budget from now on, because Terry Gilliam may frighten and disturb me, but such is the cost of genius.
Harry Potter
* Who wants Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince merchandise? If your answer was not I DO I DO and screaming and tearing of the hair, then don't click this link. And why is an audio book of Alan Rickman coldly mocking everything I say NOT one of the prizes? Probably because it only exists in my mind, but wouldn't you pay for that? I would. It's all about Snape. Don't kid yourself. I wouldn't give a shit about this series (probably) were it not for that complex and incredibly sad character. TEAM SNAPE. I want all this stuff.
WTF, INTERNET?
* Did I ever tell you guys the story about how I got kicked out of CCD (the after-school program where you learn about stuff so you can get communion and confirmation within the Catholic Church) because I refused to give up my Ouija board when I was a young lass? Because I knew it was nothing more than a funny, stupid game, and I found it insane that anyone would take it seriously? Well, if it had looked like this, I don't think I would have had a problem:
[Found at Jezebel]
If I die (ever) and become a ghost, and some little bitch tries to get in touch with my with that Pepto-Bismol colored, sexist piece of crap to ask me if the love of her life this week is going to text her, I will haunt the SHIT out of her. Only dark spirits can come from such a thing. And, seriously, WTF? Why does it have to be pink? Do mine girly eyes on see the more delicate shades? The ones I used in middle school were white, and I saw them JUST FINE. You buy this for a little girl, you're going to wake up with hunks of it jammed down your throat. By the girl, or the evil spirits. It's a toss-up.
Daily Hot Guy
[Christopher Eccleston with the TARDIS, and he's STILL my favorite Doctor, OK?! He was taken from us far too soon, and his eyes are AMAZING and he's sad and sexy, and why can't he appear on a special, DAMMIT?]
Movie!Win - Newish Category
* Look, I like categories. And FOCUS: There might be a Goonies 2, maybe, although I'm still more interested in Lost Boys 3, and YES I love Corey Feldman, always have, and no that does not negatively affect my life, you're all just jealous. Of something. What? I'm sorry, someone switched out my coffee to something with extra espresso. The air is loud in here. GOONIES 2.
Animals
* Can birds fart? Yes. Yes they can. Dinosaurs could burp and fart too. I learned that from Nickelodeon Magazine, before the recession killed it.
More later, most likely. I know I write that almost every morning, but I'm on a surprise vacation. Be grateful. By the way, this blog must soon celebrate the birth of the late Hunter Stockton Thompson. How should we do that? My friend suggested a third tattoo, but those are expensive and I STILL can't decide on a nice image, but we have to honor him SOME WAY. He's A GOD, PEOPLE. Or I could get drunk and shoot of fireworks. In a bikini. He'd appreciate that, yeah?
- LV
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