Blog* It's a super-power that even SPIES can't fight, Michael. Title is from Burn Notice.Movie!Fail* I know you know this already, because it is the weirdest goddamn movie idea since Being John Malkovich, only it has NO CHANCE of being good. They're making a movie based on Viewmaster. For those of you who didn't grow up in the age of win, this is a Viewmaster:[Found at io9]You know who I feel bad for? The press guy for this movie. His life is just a misery. 'We're all... very excited.... about the new movie. It should... look amazing! Yes! It will have colors! SO MANY COLORS! And no action. We've moved beyond action! And actors! Actors are the past! ....I'm fired, aren't I?'Depression Session* We already have commercials on the TV about how gold is our only savior as the economy collapses (but it's not this week, so stop panicking and go shopping, for America), but what happens when even gold is useless? Well obviously you sell your children and become a Mad Max-style road warrior and join force with Jackie Earle Haley and the ghost of Hunter Thompson and Robert Downey, Jr. and start your own civilization. But when you have to trade with other, lesser societies, here are five things you can use for currency instead of boring old money. Zombies* Here is the red-band trailer for . And some footage. My coffee is NOT WORKING. I need a zombie apocalypse just to wake me up. Focus, LV, focus. So Zombieworld is going to be the greatest zombie movie since the other zombie movies I like, and Woody Harrelson will save us all with his country twang, although I hope he doesn't refer to anyone as his 'lover' because that skeeved me out in Natural Born Killers.Robert Downey, Jr. was in that movie. Played an Australian. Just saying. Why hasn't HE been in a zombie movie? Sherlock Holmes faces zombies? And before you laugh, how is this ANY more ridiculous than the Viewmaster movie? Exactly.TeeVee* Here is a spoiler-free review of the pilot episode of the remake . It's being called wonderful and scary. I had no doubt it would be. You can't get two cast members from Firefly and NOT be made of win. It's a medical impossibility. Plus Alan 'Alpha Wash' Tudyk is a force of absolute good, even in movies that are barely permitted to exist. So yay, V! Fall TV is going to be awesome. Remind me to write a blog entry about all the shows I need to follow.Journalism* They want to ban linking on the internet, to save journalism. And by 'they,' I mean, 'journalists and people who fear change.'
Expanding copyright law to bar online access to copyrighted materials without the copyright holder's consent, or to bar linking to or paraphrasing copyrighted materials without the copyright holder's consent, might be necessary to keep free riding on content financed by online newspapers from so impairing the incentive to create costly news-gathering operations that news services like Reuters and the Associated Press would become the only professional, nongovernmental sources of news and opinion.Let me make this very, very clear, as a journalism student, a writer, a human being, a coffee junkie, whatever: FUCK. THAT. As this article says, you cannot copyright SHIT THAT HAS HAPPENED. My dog just barked at the neighbors. DON'T WRITE ABOUT IT. THAT'S MINE. This is BULLSHIT, and breaks first amendment rights, and is also INSANE. Now I'm going to link more than ever. FOR FREEDOM. DON'T CENSOR ME.I love newspapers and magazines, and I want them to survive. But if this is their big solution, shit don't look good.Wow.* This picture of Charlie brown really upsets me:[Found at LikeCool]It's very well done and all, but... GOD. Why are his features so tiny, and his hair looks like Nicolas Cage's hair, and this is why cartoon characters should NEVER be made to look realistic. Remember that Simpsons Halloween episode where Homer ended up in our world? That was alarming. Giant round yellow people are NOT welcome, unless they bring beer. Then I accept them.Geek Want* Speaking of Homer Simpson, I challenge anyone to not want this:[Found at NerdApproved]It's amazing. And why hasn't this existed before? But you don't really drink BEER from flasks, do you? And Homer is a beer man. My favorite glass is the one to the far left. It's the face of a man who has imbibed much alcohol, but has not yet crossed the line to where he lacks control over his bodily functions. Not that Homer generally has much authority over those.Daily Hot Guy[Edward Norton, who has not been around nearly enough since The Incredible Hulk, and who I miss terribly, because man can ROCK a suit]Politics* Look, you can say and think whatever you want. This is America. You have the right to your opinions, and are entitled to express them. But can I offer one suggestion? Maybe stop posting your opinions on Facebook. Not because you can't, or shouldn't. Do as you would. But it never ends well. You get people angry, you get fired, and this is not the economic time to be unemployed. Also, Facebook sucks. This woman said mean things about Obama, and then she got fired, which I think is illegal in and of itself, but WHY would you post anything on Facebook, EVER? I'm more amazed that after all the stories about people getting fired for incriminating posts/pictures on Facebook, anyone uses the damn thing anymore. I mean, REALLY. My Facebook entries are usually: 'I went to work. I love my job.' So this is less about politics, and more about how anyone posting things on Facebook is probably going to lose everything they hold dear. I will say this, though: You can think of a better name than 'O-Dumb-A,' can't you? I mean, I LIKE the guy, and I could think of better names. Not right now, but I'm only on cup two of coffee. Awesome* I'm sorry. I just.... I can't stop watching this:What minstrels of the soul wrought so perfect a creation?WTF, INTERNET?* OK, REALLY:[Found at Geekologie]What is the POINT of this? It's not funny. Some people can rock a 'stache, but most people cannot. And no one who CAN rock a 'stache would EVER have one of these. You stick them on bottles and pretend to have a mustache for the time it takes to drink. WHAT? Then it gets all slimy and sticky from backwash, and I would NEVER love anyone who had one of these. WHY DO THEY EXIST? Here are real options: either GROW a mustache, or don't. But no one who wore one of these ever got laid. Only Jackie Earle Haley could combat this level of stupid. He would GROW a mustache. In under a MINUTE. And that mustache would bring about WORLD PEACE. Coffee just kicked in, huzzah!Movie!Win
* Jason Statham has signed to play a “rather crude, un-pc, borderline sociopath of a cop” in a British production of the Ken Bruen novel “Blitz”.As long as Jason Statham is snarky, and crude and British, I don't give a SHIT what the movie is about. I am shallow. Have you SEEN that trailer where he rips his shirt off and kills the dude with his shirt? I won't sit through the movie. But that trailer is AWESOME:The shirt scene is at 1:33. Don't look at me like that. If Jackie Earle Haley or Robert Downey, Jr. did this, I'd be in a coma. A HAPPY coma.Vampires* Here's a Q&A about True Blood, which is infinitely better than Twilight because the vampires are crazy and evil AND they bite people and have sex and don't SPARKLE like sad little unwanted suncatchers, or cry because they can't bang their girlfriends, or BUCKLE THEIR SEATBELTS FOR THEM. I need to watch last weeks' episode. I keep saying that, but I haven't yet. I've been BUSY. BUT they're going to do the Eric/Sookie/Bill triangle from the books, which I haven't read, but the more Eric the better because DAMN he can corrupt me ANY TIME HE WANTS. Sorry. The coffee, it makes me loud.Russell Brand* This is Russell Brand and Tom Green. Don't ask, just accept. You see, Russell is so sexy and glorious that he can even make Tom Green timely and cool once again. That's serious powers. Incidentally, I was very happy that the rumor about Tom Green being seriously hurt was just bullshit. Remember the Bum song? I do. Oh, I do. More later. In the meantime, get off your ass and go listen to World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley. You don't LITERALLY have to get off your ass. You don't have to move at ALL. And it's funny. And if you listen and comment, and are VERY good, there may be another podcast, soon. Unless you liked Twilight. Then you get NOTHING.- LV
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