Blog
* Title is from Arrested Development, and probably the reason I am gainfully employed at the moment.
Freakangels Friday
* OR IS IT? Actually, there is an interlude, and I may have wept bitter steampunk-crazed tears, because Karl was finally back in the storyline, and because I love FREAKANGELS. But you should read the interlude, which is very interesting despite the utter lack of Karl. WARREN ELLIS IS A CRUEL MASTER.
Apocalypse How?
* Ants are one of those species where I find them cute so long as they stay far away from me. This might be lingering affection from Anty in Honey, I Shrunk The Kids. Remember Rick Moranis? I do. I do. Anyway, while Anty was adorable, in part because he was huge and therefore couldn't crawl over me in my sleep (well he could, but I'd be dead if he did that, so it would be more painful but less traumatizing), I do not fancy the idea of ANT OVERLORDS RULING THE EARTH. There's this ginormous colony of ants, and there are billions of them, and they're working together, and they are going to ENSLAVE US AND CRAWL ALL OVER US AND IN OUR NOSES AND MOUTHS AND OH GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.
I do not like bugs. I'd much rather have aliens rule us. Unless they look like ants. That would be the worst of both worlds.
Movie!Win
* Ricky Gervais is the only person who's allowed to be in those Night at the Museum movies and emerge with his dignity intact. And Ghost Town was funny and sad and I might have cried a little, because I do that. And the original Office and the show Extras both rank as some of the best television since the medium was invented, and I CRIED at the Christmas specials of both, because they were wonderful, and DOCTOR WHO WAS IN THE EXTRAS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL, and I maybe woke up everyone else in the house to tell them, only they didn't care because I am surrounded by heathens. Anyway, here's the trailer for Ricky Gervais' new movie, The Invention of Lying. I hope this time there is only laughter, and not tears. It's kind of uncomfortable to be the only person crying in a room.
Airplane Fear
* There is no freaking way I am sitting on a barstool, in an airplane, with no food or water, while flying to or from China. So move on. Unless the seats are coated with sedatives, or I get an injection before I get on the plane. Then you can throw me in the overhead compartment.
Doctor Who
* Continuing our trend of Attractive and Talented Actors Holding Fluffy Kittens, Levyathenn, who has her own TARDIS but won't let me on because she says I'm not ready because I JUST WANT TO PUSH ALL THE BUTTONS sent me this lovely and wondrous picture of joy:
This is why everyone should be on Twitter. Because we are going to bring about World Peace.
Jersey!Fail
* Yes, we have the worst freaking drivers. Except for New York. They're worse. I won't drive in that city. I want to live. But at least those drivers run you down and flip you off, then get arrested, the end. We like to see the issues sink in here in the Garden State.
Zombies
* Reader Julia, who should just be declared Zombie Warrior Supreme, sent me this link of quick tips to survive the zombie outbreak. Because, as she put it, when the apocalypse comes, we won't have time to read all of Max Brooks. SO GO READ IT NOW, PEOPLE. FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED. Man, I want the zombies to attack NOW. I'm bored. And totally prepared. BRING IT. Also, zombies always more manageable than economic crisis or healthcare reform.
Girly Shit
* I both want this dress, and find it very ugly:
[Found at FabSugar]
Diane von Furstenburg often causes such consternation. Buy it for me, so that I might decide whether I love it or not. The confusions, it eats my brains. LIKE A ZOMBIE.
Music
* Are these the coolest, weirdest looking guitars you've ever seen? The answer is YES.
[Found at CoolHunting]
Or, if they aren't, WHERE DO YOU GO TO SEE SUCH COOL GUITARS? And why don't you take me? Why would you keep the coolnes to yourself? You're so selfish.
Technology
* First of all, I think this is totally cute:
[Found at DVICE]
It's a speed-monitoring system that keeps track of police cars and cameras that could give you tickets. Because I am a good driver, I don't need one. And, frankly, if you're getting enough tickets that you need to buy one of these things, maybe you need to reexamine your lifestyle. Just a suggestions. Still, it's cute, yes?
Watchmen
* This doesn't directly have anything to do with Watchmen. Except that, as I always say, EVERYTHING does. It does. Think about it. And this piece of art, which in and of itself is very pretty and interesting, looks like Doctor Manhattan:
[Found at DVICE]
Also in unrelated to Watchmen but totally related, there's an article on how kids with names like Walter are more likely to become criminals. So my unborn, unconceived child Walter Hunter Rory Spock Alan, is going to be the most prolific murderer in the history of the world. Win!
Daily Hot Guy
[Ewan McGregor, tragically dressed, but not for long, I'm sure, and did you hear he totally dismissed Megan Fox's existence? And he rides a motorcycle around? Oh, Ewan. You were one of my first crushes. I blame The Pillow Book. It also may have damaged ALL future relationships I will have. You know why]
Tattoo Of Win
* Um.
[Found at LOLTATZ]
I loved Invader Zim, and still sometimes yell out random lines (including, 'Gaz taste me. I'm DELICIOUS,') and try to maintain admiration for Jhonen Vasquez, EVEN THOUGH Jellyfist was extremely disappointing, but I'm not sure about these tattoos. Then again, I have the symbol of a homicidal, paranoid, unkempt vigilante tattooed on me, so maybe I should just be quiet now. They are nicely done. The point is, I DON'T KNOW IF THE TITLE OF THIS CATEGORY IS SARCASTIC. I AM CONFOUNDED.
Food
* Yeah, this is not OK. As regular readers know, my parents are vegetarian/vegans. I am not. So I get a lot of commentary on my daily indulgence of bacon/meaty goodness. I don't really care. I do like some vegan products, and maybe if the vegans stopped yelling, I wouldn't make such merciless fun of them. They are SERIOUS.
But I may have to get on board with them in this respect. There is something creepy, icky, and, well, WRONG about chickens being bitten by poisonous snakes, then served to people as food. I mean, poison is not a quick or painless way to go. Who thought up this idea? Dammit, vegans, FINE. I, LV, do not endorse chickens being killed by poisonous snakes. Just cut their heads off, deep fry them, and feed them to me. Happy? What do you mean I missed the point? YOU'RE missing deep-fried goodness.
More later. YES, for reals. Because it's the long weekend. And stuff is happening in the world. And I WILL finish the rough draft of the Epic Vampire Novel of Dubious Quality. Then I will celebrate with alcohol and Russell Brand. WHAT? It's Fourth of July weekend, nothing's going on really, and I deserve a saucy British lad for all my hard work. Also a unicorn. And a flamethrower. And a sword. And Givenchy shoes. FREEDOM FOR ALL!
- LV
* Title is from Arrested Development, and probably the reason I am gainfully employed at the moment.
Freakangels Friday
* OR IS IT? Actually, there is an interlude, and I may have wept bitter steampunk-crazed tears, because Karl was finally back in the storyline, and because I love FREAKANGELS. But you should read the interlude, which is very interesting despite the utter lack of Karl. WARREN ELLIS IS A CRUEL MASTER.
Apocalypse How?
* Ants are one of those species where I find them cute so long as they stay far away from me. This might be lingering affection from Anty in Honey, I Shrunk The Kids. Remember Rick Moranis? I do. I do. Anyway, while Anty was adorable, in part because he was huge and therefore couldn't crawl over me in my sleep (well he could, but I'd be dead if he did that, so it would be more painful but less traumatizing), I do not fancy the idea of ANT OVERLORDS RULING THE EARTH. There's this ginormous colony of ants, and there are billions of them, and they're working together, and they are going to ENSLAVE US AND CRAWL ALL OVER US AND IN OUR NOSES AND MOUTHS AND OH GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.
I do not like bugs. I'd much rather have aliens rule us. Unless they look like ants. That would be the worst of both worlds.
Movie!Win
* Ricky Gervais is the only person who's allowed to be in those Night at the Museum movies and emerge with his dignity intact. And Ghost Town was funny and sad and I might have cried a little, because I do that. And the original Office and the show Extras both rank as some of the best television since the medium was invented, and I CRIED at the Christmas specials of both, because they were wonderful, and DOCTOR WHO WAS IN THE EXTRAS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL, and I maybe woke up everyone else in the house to tell them, only they didn't care because I am surrounded by heathens. Anyway, here's the trailer for Ricky Gervais' new movie, The Invention of Lying. I hope this time there is only laughter, and not tears. It's kind of uncomfortable to be the only person crying in a room.
Airplane Fear
* There is no freaking way I am sitting on a barstool, in an airplane, with no food or water, while flying to or from China. So move on. Unless the seats are coated with sedatives, or I get an injection before I get on the plane. Then you can throw me in the overhead compartment.
Doctor Who
* Continuing our trend of Attractive and Talented Actors Holding Fluffy Kittens, Levyathenn, who has her own TARDIS but won't let me on because she says I'm not ready because I JUST WANT TO PUSH ALL THE BUTTONS sent me this lovely and wondrous picture of joy:
This is why everyone should be on Twitter. Because we are going to bring about World Peace.
Jersey!Fail
* Yes, we have the worst freaking drivers. Except for New York. They're worse. I won't drive in that city. I want to live. But at least those drivers run you down and flip you off, then get arrested, the end. We like to see the issues sink in here in the Garden State.
Zombies
* Reader Julia, who should just be declared Zombie Warrior Supreme, sent me this link of quick tips to survive the zombie outbreak. Because, as she put it, when the apocalypse comes, we won't have time to read all of Max Brooks. SO GO READ IT NOW, PEOPLE. FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED. Man, I want the zombies to attack NOW. I'm bored. And totally prepared. BRING IT. Also, zombies always more manageable than economic crisis or healthcare reform.
Girly Shit
* I both want this dress, and find it very ugly:
[Found at FabSugar]
Diane von Furstenburg often causes such consternation. Buy it for me, so that I might decide whether I love it or not. The confusions, it eats my brains. LIKE A ZOMBIE.
Music
* Are these the coolest, weirdest looking guitars you've ever seen? The answer is YES.
[Found at CoolHunting]
Or, if they aren't, WHERE DO YOU GO TO SEE SUCH COOL GUITARS? And why don't you take me? Why would you keep the coolnes to yourself? You're so selfish.
Technology
* First of all, I think this is totally cute:
[Found at DVICE]
It's a speed-monitoring system that keeps track of police cars and cameras that could give you tickets. Because I am a good driver, I don't need one. And, frankly, if you're getting enough tickets that you need to buy one of these things, maybe you need to reexamine your lifestyle. Just a suggestions. Still, it's cute, yes?
Watchmen
* This doesn't directly have anything to do with Watchmen. Except that, as I always say, EVERYTHING does. It does. Think about it. And this piece of art, which in and of itself is very pretty and interesting, looks like Doctor Manhattan:
[Found at DVICE]
Also in unrelated to Watchmen but totally related, there's an article on how kids with names like Walter are more likely to become criminals. So my unborn, unconceived child Walter Hunter Rory Spock Alan, is going to be the most prolific murderer in the history of the world. Win!
Daily Hot Guy
[Ewan McGregor, tragically dressed, but not for long, I'm sure, and did you hear he totally dismissed Megan Fox's existence? And he rides a motorcycle around? Oh, Ewan. You were one of my first crushes. I blame The Pillow Book. It also may have damaged ALL future relationships I will have. You know why]
Tattoo Of Win
* Um.
[Found at LOLTATZ]
I loved Invader Zim, and still sometimes yell out random lines (including, 'Gaz taste me. I'm DELICIOUS,') and try to maintain admiration for Jhonen Vasquez, EVEN THOUGH Jellyfist was extremely disappointing, but I'm not sure about these tattoos. Then again, I have the symbol of a homicidal, paranoid, unkempt vigilante tattooed on me, so maybe I should just be quiet now. They are nicely done. The point is, I DON'T KNOW IF THE TITLE OF THIS CATEGORY IS SARCASTIC. I AM CONFOUNDED.
Food
* Yeah, this is not OK. As regular readers know, my parents are vegetarian/vegans. I am not. So I get a lot of commentary on my daily indulgence of bacon/meaty goodness. I don't really care. I do like some vegan products, and maybe if the vegans stopped yelling, I wouldn't make such merciless fun of them. They are SERIOUS.
But I may have to get on board with them in this respect. There is something creepy, icky, and, well, WRONG about chickens being bitten by poisonous snakes, then served to people as food. I mean, poison is not a quick or painless way to go. Who thought up this idea? Dammit, vegans, FINE. I, LV, do not endorse chickens being killed by poisonous snakes. Just cut their heads off, deep fry them, and feed them to me. Happy? What do you mean I missed the point? YOU'RE missing deep-fried goodness.
More later. YES, for reals. Because it's the long weekend. And stuff is happening in the world. And I WILL finish the rough draft of the Epic Vampire Novel of Dubious Quality. Then I will celebrate with alcohol and Russell Brand. WHAT? It's Fourth of July weekend, nothing's going on really, and I deserve a saucy British lad for all my hard work. Also a unicorn. And a flamethrower. And a sword. And Givenchy shoes. FREEDOM FOR ALL!
- LV
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