Blog* Title is from Futurama. Everyone knows you need at least three hookers at your child's birthday party. Ask about balloon tricks.Politics* Here's your daily dose of, 'Holy shit - people are awful.' The head of a school sent Emails like this:make it your sex slave keep it from hurting innocent people. Don't look at me like that. I've been watching a lot of True Blood. What, like YOU would stake Eric Northman or Bill Compton if they strolled into your neighborhood bar? Don't lie like that. It sickens me.Books* This book written by Dave Eggers is inspired by Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things are and partly based on the script co-written by Spike Jonze. Cool. This movie had better be as awesome as I need it to be. Have you seen the posters? The posters make up from Transformers 2. They are THAT GOOD.More later, possibly. I am a busy girl. I have writing galore, because I proclaimed I would finish the rough draft of my Epic Vampire Novel of Dubious Quality, but I wrote nothing yesterday because I was tired and The Daily Show was really funny. I am a terrible, terrible person. Hump Day is hard. AHAHAHA... eh..... no.- LV
A mock news release from the Detroit Police Department that claims the department will replace German shepherd police dogs with “coon dogs, due to the fact the city is not having any problems with Germans.”In conclusion, if you want to be a racist shit, maybe CHECK who you're sending your Emails to. Just a suggestion.* Sarah Palin wants to run against Obama. Like, literally run. With her feet. A jogging match. She says she'd beat him. This is a news piece. And I am posting it, thus giving this crazy lady even more attention. I am part of the problem, now. And seriously, Sarah Palin, STOP TALKING. And you people: STOP ENCOURAGING HER.* A former ex-mayor from Georgia was arrested for wandering around drunk and naked, and then denying his nudity and walking around, and told police that he was terribly important, naked or not. I love politics.WTF, INTERNET?* These are earphones:[Found at NerdApproved]I feel the same way about them as I do about cocaine. You just shouldn't stick certain things in any orifice. And why a wiener dog? Wouldn't it be funnier to have arrow headphones? So it looked like someone shot you through the head with a tiny, tiny arrow? Why aren't you guys laughing?Zombies* Even though I don't like it, I have to endorse this tattoo, because its message is profound and eternal:[Found at LOLTATZ]There's nothing funny about this. You don't destroy the brain, you are SCREWED. Are you taking notes?Animals* Click on this link to see apes laugh when tickled. There was a tickle study. On apes. I can't decide if that's the greatest thing ever, or a criminal misuse of scientific time and funds. But the apes, they LAUGH.Movies* Michael Bay must have gotten up one morning and thought, 'How do I make blogger ElleVee despise me and everything I stand for?' Because I DIDN'T. I thought he was untalented and loved explosions, but sort of funny, and he made enjoyable popcorn movies. My little brother likes them, at least. And now James Frey, author of (WHICH I LIKED AND WILL DEFEND) has written some science fiction script, and Michael Bay is going to shit all over it, because that is what he does. TRANSFORMERS 2 CAUSES EYE-BLEEDS. I need to see another movie to get over this, for real.Girly Shit* I need this dress. Desperately. Life will not continue for ANYONE unless I have this dress in my life:[Found at IHeartThat]True, I have nowhere to wear such a dress, and I cannot afford it by ANY stretch of the imagination, but none of that matters. Give me $1,590. FOR AMERICA. AND DEMOCRACY. Man, I need a sugar daddy. Russell Brand, call me! Plus, then I'd have many places to wear this dress, and I'm somewhat entertaining, yes? Think about it!Music* Here are cute and adorable little children singing, 'Just Dance' by Lady Gaga:Smile in your souls. It's hump day.Technology* The International Society of Supervillains tolerates Twitter, but not if you continue to SHAME yourselves and the rest of your silly little species. Here are examples of people abusing the privilege of Twitter, not that I have ever done ANY of these things, EVER. Stop smirking like that.Watchmen* If you don't vote for in every category every day, Nite Owl will come and beat the shit out of you. Then the Comedian will rape the shit out of you. Then Rorschach will break all your fingers, eat all your food, and lock you in your refrigerator. Then Silk Spectre will kick you with those awesome boots. Then Ozymandias will throw bullets at you. Then, finally, Doctor Manhattan will make you all explodey. So go VOTE. Oh, but if Watchmen isn't nominated in a certain category, feel free to vote for whoever you want, so long as I like them.Daily Hot Guy[Bruno, leaving me frightened, confused, and strangely aroused]Tattoo Of Win[Found at LOLTATZ]Food* Obama is a terrible president, because of the restaurant he chose to eat in that time he went to New York City with his wife. AIRTIGHT LOGIC? Um, no. The opposite, in fact. Unless he went to Chipotle. I hate that place. Their salads make my organs bleed fire.Comics* I like webcomics. Ergo, all comics can go online. Because me and Marc Ellerby said so. WHAT? It's Wednesday, and I overslept, and the coverage of Michael Jackson has gone from sad to creepy and borderline stalking and Sarah Palin is talking AGAIN. It's a rough morning, OK?Words Of Winsee more Fail BlogYouTube Wonders* See, you distract the vampire with the tasty drink shown below, then you knock out the vampire, tie it down securely, and
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