Blog
* He then ate Kiefer Sutherland and set fire to the set of Desperate Housewives.
Doctor Who
* News updates on the Doctor Who comic, and an interview with Tony Lee, who runs the program. I'm a Classic Fan. Frankly, I want Nine in comic form. Why am I the only one who loves Nine? I feel alone.
TwiHate
* Because I am feeling charitable, and also Harry Potter was awesome and SNAPE MADE ME VERY, VERY HAPPY, I will simply post this video of what would happen if Buffy Summers met Edward Cullen. He'd die. Horribly. It would be hilarious. Then Spike would steal his stuff. And I would be happy.
Here's an intelligent-type analysis on on misogyny of Twilight, which makes me angry, but not as angry as everything Bella says and does in EVERY BOOK. It's the 21st century. YOU ARE NOT A WILTING FLOWER. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT"S GOING ON. AND IF A GUY DITCHES YOU WITH NO EXPLANATION, FUCK HIM. Also, you are SELFISH. You don't think of your mother or father or friends, just your call-consuming need to get into Edward's pants. AND HE IS ANNOYING. GOD. DO NOT WANT.
That wasn't quite as charitable as I'd envisioned.
Zombies
* Oh. My. God.
[Found at BoingBoing]
Do you know what this is? It is a taser shotgun. Yes. YES. That is ALL THE AWESOME OF THE DAY. I know it won't KILL a zombie. But it will knock them the hell down, and if you are on the run sometimes you just need to clear a path to safety. Plus you could practice on ex-boyfriends and people who proudly proclaim that they never read. But mainly for zombies.
Girly Shit
* WHY IS THIS NOT MINE?
[Found at BestWeekEver]
For too long my loves of ice cream and hats have been kept apart. Now, I can unite them in glory atop my tiny head. I'm serious, if I had this I would wear it everywhere. I would wear this to weddings. To FUNERALS. I will be the prettiest peacock in the world.
Music
* I would listen to these while wearing my Ice Cream Hat:
[Found at LikeCool]
They are gold and silver Lego speakers. Lady Gaga must own these. AND MY ICE CREAM HAT. I KNEW that girl was after my shit. But really, you could listen to gold speakers IN THE BATHROOM. LEGO GOLD SPEAKERS. That is as fancy as it gets. That will make your tunes caress your eardrums. Even if you listen to utter crap like U2.
Technology
* And you thought Twitter was hip and edgy:
[Found at BoingBoing]
Oh NOES! Our grandparents used Twitter! Hurry, EVERYBODY BACK TO FACEBOOK! No, I'm kidding. Nothing would send me back to Facebook. It is made of suck. But this could be the grandfather of Twitter. It's from 1935, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to use it, while listening to my Lego speakers and wearing my ice cream hat. This is sounding more and more like a David Lynch movie. And not one of the good ones.
Watchmen
* I AM SEEING IT TOMORROW IN THEATERS. I AM JEALOUS OF MYSELF. Ahem. Moving on. Have I posted this? If so, I shall post it again, because it is GENIUS and makes me laugh:
[Made by McScary]
I would buy a shirt with this image. And wear it WHILE listening to the soundtrack on my Lego speakers, wearing my ice cream hat, and using my ancient Twitter. Then I would explode, because one person cannot contain such awesome. And in case I did post this, read this article on Maximum Movie Mode, which my father claims WILL play on a non-Blu-Ray DVD player, but I think he's saying that so I'll throw out my plans to rob Best Buy. I NEED THE SPECIAL VERSION, UNIVERSE. In other news, I hate Blu-Ray until someone figures out how I can own it.
Oh, and because someone asked me, here are the theaters playing the Director's Cut. If you get to go, tell me about it! I want to compare stories. Also I'm curious if anyone will be at the screening I'm going to.
Tattoo Of Win
[Found at LOLTATZ]
Daily Hot Guy
[Russell Brand. He makes me happy, OK?]
Food
* There are bacon rolling papers. And a bowl made of bacon. AND A BACON CINNAMON ROLL. IMAGINE THE EVENING YOU COULD HAVE. I am. Oh, my evening is going to involve pork, sugar, and pot. I will end up in jail, but I will be so happy I will not even care.
Moment Of Win
see more Fail Blog
YouTube Wonders
* A baby Capybara licks the camera.
The world is indeed a glorious place sometimes. It's so cute! I want five. I want to ride in a chariot pulled by these. Is that animal cruelty? They can run around in my backyard! Why are they not mine?
Books
* Aw, Mark Sandford's book about economics/not-sex scandals isn't going to be published. I want him to write about falling in love with a woman NOT his wife and using government funds to get laid and then crying about it on national television. Oh, wait, I can watch that on YouTube. Never mind, Mr. Sandford. Go weep in a corner. We'll call you if we need entertainment.
Incidentally:
I have now been to two movies where someone has thrown up in the theater. The first was in The Passion of the Christ, when I woman threw up in her popcorn tub. The second was last night at Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and was a child who forgot the chew-and-swallow concept during the FINAL SCENES. GOD. IF YOUR CHILD CANNOT CHEW, DO NOT BRING THEM TO THE THEATER.
Time for things to take place.
- LV
* He then ate Kiefer Sutherland and set fire to the set of Desperate Housewives.
Doctor Who
* News updates on the Doctor Who comic, and an interview with Tony Lee, who runs the program. I'm a Classic Fan. Frankly, I want Nine in comic form. Why am I the only one who loves Nine? I feel alone.
TwiHate
* Because I am feeling charitable, and also Harry Potter was awesome and SNAPE MADE ME VERY, VERY HAPPY, I will simply post this video of what would happen if Buffy Summers met Edward Cullen. He'd die. Horribly. It would be hilarious. Then Spike would steal his stuff. And I would be happy.
Here's an intelligent-type analysis on on misogyny of Twilight, which makes me angry, but not as angry as everything Bella says and does in EVERY BOOK. It's the 21st century. YOU ARE NOT A WILTING FLOWER. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT"S GOING ON. AND IF A GUY DITCHES YOU WITH NO EXPLANATION, FUCK HIM. Also, you are SELFISH. You don't think of your mother or father or friends, just your call-consuming need to get into Edward's pants. AND HE IS ANNOYING. GOD. DO NOT WANT.
That wasn't quite as charitable as I'd envisioned.
Zombies
* Oh. My. God.
[Found at BoingBoing]
Do you know what this is? It is a taser shotgun. Yes. YES. That is ALL THE AWESOME OF THE DAY. I know it won't KILL a zombie. But it will knock them the hell down, and if you are on the run sometimes you just need to clear a path to safety. Plus you could practice on ex-boyfriends and people who proudly proclaim that they never read. But mainly for zombies.
Girly Shit
* WHY IS THIS NOT MINE?
[Found at BestWeekEver]
For too long my loves of ice cream and hats have been kept apart. Now, I can unite them in glory atop my tiny head. I'm serious, if I had this I would wear it everywhere. I would wear this to weddings. To FUNERALS. I will be the prettiest peacock in the world.
Music
* I would listen to these while wearing my Ice Cream Hat:
[Found at LikeCool]
They are gold and silver Lego speakers. Lady Gaga must own these. AND MY ICE CREAM HAT. I KNEW that girl was after my shit. But really, you could listen to gold speakers IN THE BATHROOM. LEGO GOLD SPEAKERS. That is as fancy as it gets. That will make your tunes caress your eardrums. Even if you listen to utter crap like U2.
Technology
* And you thought Twitter was hip and edgy:
[Found at BoingBoing]
Oh NOES! Our grandparents used Twitter! Hurry, EVERYBODY BACK TO FACEBOOK! No, I'm kidding. Nothing would send me back to Facebook. It is made of suck. But this could be the grandfather of Twitter. It's from 1935, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to use it, while listening to my Lego speakers and wearing my ice cream hat. This is sounding more and more like a David Lynch movie. And not one of the good ones.
Watchmen
* I AM SEEING IT TOMORROW IN THEATERS. I AM JEALOUS OF MYSELF. Ahem. Moving on. Have I posted this? If so, I shall post it again, because it is GENIUS and makes me laugh:
[Made by McScary]
I would buy a shirt with this image. And wear it WHILE listening to the soundtrack on my Lego speakers, wearing my ice cream hat, and using my ancient Twitter. Then I would explode, because one person cannot contain such awesome. And in case I did post this, read this article on Maximum Movie Mode, which my father claims WILL play on a non-Blu-Ray DVD player, but I think he's saying that so I'll throw out my plans to rob Best Buy. I NEED THE SPECIAL VERSION, UNIVERSE. In other news, I hate Blu-Ray until someone figures out how I can own it.
Oh, and because someone asked me, here are the theaters playing the Director's Cut. If you get to go, tell me about it! I want to compare stories. Also I'm curious if anyone will be at the screening I'm going to.
Tattoo Of Win
[Found at LOLTATZ]
Daily Hot Guy
[Russell Brand. He makes me happy, OK?]
Food
* There are bacon rolling papers. And a bowl made of bacon. AND A BACON CINNAMON ROLL. IMAGINE THE EVENING YOU COULD HAVE. I am. Oh, my evening is going to involve pork, sugar, and pot. I will end up in jail, but I will be so happy I will not even care.
Moment Of Win
see more Fail Blog
YouTube Wonders
* A baby Capybara licks the camera.
The world is indeed a glorious place sometimes. It's so cute! I want five. I want to ride in a chariot pulled by these. Is that animal cruelty? They can run around in my backyard! Why are they not mine?
Books
* Aw, Mark Sandford's book about economics/not-sex scandals isn't going to be published. I want him to write about falling in love with a woman NOT his wife and using government funds to get laid and then crying about it on national television. Oh, wait, I can watch that on YouTube. Never mind, Mr. Sandford. Go weep in a corner. We'll call you if we need entertainment.
Incidentally:
I have now been to two movies where someone has thrown up in the theater. The first was in The Passion of the Christ, when I woman threw up in her popcorn tub. The second was last night at Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and was a child who forgot the chew-and-swallow concept during the FINAL SCENES. GOD. IF YOUR CHILD CANNOT CHEW, DO NOT BRING THEM TO THE THEATER.
Time for things to take place.
- LV
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