Sunday, July 5, 2009

LISTEN TO THE CHAIR-LEG OF TRUTH! IT DOES NOT LIE!

Blog
* It may not lie, but the splinters are a bitch. Title is from Transmetropolitan, and pretty accurately displays the type of man I want to marry.

Ad!Win
* Wow.

[Found at ETOnline]
Um. David Beckham looks like the world's sexiest tattooed nazi. His hair is.... um. I'm lying, I'm not looking at his hair. I will buy any product that features this ad. For any amount of money.

Harry Potter
* YES. Bill Nighy is going to be in Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows! My dream is coming together. Now all I need is Hugh Laurie as some random Imperioed dude, Russell Brand as a Death Eather (of SEX), and Tim Roth as a young Snape, and I will be the happiest member of Team Snape this side of the Atlantic.

WTF, INTERNET?
* I think we've pretty much established that my unborn, unconceived children are going to have awful lives centered around basically playing out all my fandoms in childhood form, what with being named after fictional vigilantes and only getting to play with toys I wish I'd had, etc. So in that context, this is not the worst thing I could adorn my children with:

[Found at Geekologie]
My kids are wearing this the first day of school. And they will all be named Walter. Even the girls. No, the girls will be named Hunter. My children will be weird and have no friends and live in my basement for always.

Movie!Win
* To all those people worrying about Bruno, and whether it will encourage homophobia, or undermine the gay movement, or cause Ron Paul to quit politics, or whatever, let me offer these sage words of wisdom: calm the fuck down. And give in to Bruno, with these video clips from the movie.

Animals
* And now for your moment of pure, unadulterated terror, and utter conviction that the planet really, really hates you:


Daily Hot Guy

[Sendhil Ramamurthy, from Heroes, who is almost TOO attractive. LOOK at him. He's mind-bogglingly handsom. He's kind of pretty, but not feminine. And the accent. This man is dangerous to the general population. So I humbly offer to keep him away from the masses, in my basement. I am a patriot.]

Apocalypse How?
* Follow my logic here. People in stressful situations smoke. A lot. Politics is a stressful business. Many politicians smoke. But then the health officials and PR guys get on their cases, and so they try to quit, BUT QUITTING SMOKING IS HARD, and some say worse than even heroin, so they take medication to quit smoking, and the medication to make them quit smoking makes them go crazy and press the button that nukes us all, and we all die because YOU PEOPLE won't let me smoke in coffee shop. I hope you're happy.

Celebrity!Fail
* Megan Fox and Michael Bay are fighting. I'm not sure what about. I do not care. Michael Bay is no longer my favorite explodey director, ever since I sat through Transformers 2, which I WILL NOT GET OVER. And Megan Fox is so stunningly stupid that it's actually embarrassing to be a member of the same gender. So I sort of hope they have an epic death match, and then Martin Scorcese runs them over with the Pussy Wagon from Kill Bill, and I don't have to deal with either of their bullshit anymore, the end.

Doctor Who
* Russell T. Davies talks about the future of Doctor Who, and I am still sad about NINE, and now you're taking TEN away? AND WE ONLY HAVE THIRTEEN REGENERATIONS YOU CAN'T WASTE THEM. I am stressed.

Inglourious Basterds
* There are new posters for the Tarantino movie, and I have nothing snarky to say at all.

[Found at EmpireOnline]
Oh, Quentin, you make my heart go all aflutter.

Zombies
* Have you made a movie about zombies? Is it short because nobody has any money anymore, and soon all our films will be less than twenty minutes? If so, submit your zombie film here. Be a part of the solution, not the apocalypse. Also, Cory Doctorow said to.


Girly Shit
* All joking aside, I really hope that soon all makeup comes in a spray bottle.

[Found at DailyMakeover]
Firstly, because I am always looking for the product that will make me look like I have a flawless complexion.
Second, because if anyone pisses me off, I can pull out a cigarette lighter and have a teeny tiny flame-thrower.

Music
* Here's an an acoustic version of Poker Face by Lady Gaga.

Girl may have crazy weird fashion sensibilities (THAT I WANT, ONLY PANTS INCLUDED) but you cannot argue that the girl has talent. Well, of course you could, but I will ignore you and scream 'POKER FACE' at you and run away, and if I really get annoyed I too will eschew pants, for AMERICA.

Technology
* This may be the greatest wall ever.

[Found at Geekologie]
There are, of course, a few problems. One, if you have some ass friend who thinks sticking forks in electric sockets is high humor, you will not have the wall for long. Two, Doctor House also likes to electrocute himself, to prove a point. Three, if the power goes out, you immediately have to kill yourself. Problematic.

More later. Have to go write. And eat delicious vegan food.
- LV

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