Blog* What? He did. My version of LOTR is AWESOME.Life* The next bit involves your loyal blogger bragging, so ignore it if you don't want to read about the unbelievable geekery and win of the upcoming week.... tough shit.* I am going to see Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince on Wednesday. I know some people do not understand this fandom, and that is fine. I am a member of the shadowy contingency that loves the books, but is more interested in Professor Snape. Don't look at me like that. Alan Rickman sneers and is brilliant. And he's sad. And if he gets shafted in this movie, like he has in EVERY OTHER MOVIE, I will be angry and throw my brother at the screen. He is my cover. 'But I don't really want to see
.''Yes you do. You're dying to see it. Shut up. Here's ten bucks.'* I bought Little Brother by Cory Doctorow yesterday. Which is apparently a very rare book in New Jersey. I'm very proud of myself. Not for getting the book, although I love Cory Doctorow and think he is a techno-wizard. No, I am proud because three girls behind me in line at Borders were very excitedly purchasing a copy of Lauren Conrad's book, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR FROM
, and I did not kill them and set fire to their hair in a literary rage.* I may get Nine Inch Nail tickets. For their last tour. PONDER THE WIN.* Last, but not least - in fact, the best news EVER - I am going to see Watchmen: The Director's Cut in theaters. On Friday. Not in my mind. In the real world. I WIN EVERYTHING. HURRAY FOR ME. CAPSLOCKS FAILS TO EXPRESS THE EXCITEMENT. Sorry, sorry. I will not brag. I am just ALL SMILES. We now return to your regularly scheduled nattering.Movie!Win* The new RunPee iPhone app almost makes me want to get an iPhone. Because I had to hold it in during Grindhouse, and may have done permanent physical damage, which was WORTH IT. But this program tells you the best times to pee during a movie. Think about this before you start laughing. How many times have you missed a great scene because of your bladder, and sat through a boring one immediately after? THIS. IS. GENIUS. They're working on a program that will vibrate to let you know when a pee time is coming up. It even tells you how much time you have to pee, and what you'll miss while you're in the lavatory. TECHNOLOGY IS AWESOME.Or you could just pee right before the movie. And immediately after. But there's not an iPhone app for that.Animals* I want a pet snake. Or a pet rat. (I know, my friends immediately chime in, 'But you had one in your old apartment!' To which I reply, 'Yes. I had a rat in my apartment. But it was the size of a large cat and it SCREAMED like a human child when it saw me and chewed through concrete and ate a block of poison and was still hungry and was evil and uncaged. That is NOT what I mean.') Anyway, this has very little to do with this topic, aside from the fact that it involves snakes and snakes are cool. And these kids are cool. [Found at UniqueDaily]These six-year-old kids are charming poisonous snakes. I'm watching Maury. The world is a strange place. And these kids may be snake-ninjas, but I'd still like to see them tussle with the Nuclear Rat in my apartment. I'm not exaggerating. That thing would have eaten my face if I hadn't moved out.Daily Hot Guy[Alan Tudyk, one of the few men in the universe who can make a Hawaiian shirt sexy, although I would have hoped that by the time Firefly took place we would have evolved past those]Apocalypse How?* If Warren Ellis has swine flu, we all have swine flu. And if he says it's swine flu and not just a cold, it is SWINE FLU. Do not question Mr. Ellis. Defer to him in all matters. Well, most matters. OK, all matters. TEAM ELLIS.Celebrity!Fail* Spike came out with a list of ten chicks that kick ass. It is, by and large, bullshit. Megan Fox? Don't get me started. You need to be smart to kick ass. Sienna Miller? Are you joking? Banging a married man and having terrible fashion sense does not make you kick ass. Nor does acting in G.I. Joe. STAY AWAY FROM CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON. I do approve of the addition of Zoe Bell, who could kill you without breaking a sweat, Michelle Obama, Angelina Jolie, and Ashley Force. But you know who kicks ass that ISN'T on the list: * Kate Winslet* Meryl Streep (I'm not kidding. She scared me beyond words in Doubt. She would eat you alive and then PRAY about it)* Dita Von Teese* Eliza Dushku (Dollhouse)* Catherine Tate (she got angry and she took no bullshit on Doctor Who)* Carla Gugino (Did you SEE the left hook she threw the Comedian in Watchmen? And have you seen her on Entourage?)* Holly Hunter (Saving Grace)* Gabrielle Anwar (She blows shit up on Burn Notice. SHE BLOWS THINGS UP. And she holds her own with Bruce Campbell)* Helena Bonham Carter (Because she is crazy and brilliant and does not CARE what you think of her, and also because she is the scariest person ever in Sweeney Todd and Harry Potter. I want to be Bellatrix LeStrange for Halloween, just so I can have that hair)* Emma Thompson (Because she rules. GAME OVER.)Doctor Who* Speaking of Doctor Who, who's excited for Waters of Mars?! Hands? Another Doctor Who special! YAY! Even though I live in America, where we get everything six damn months later, and spoilers have RUINED it for me, and it's NOT FAIR. But I am excited. Because Russell T. Davies hasn't abandoned us YET. And these clips look pretty sweet.TwiHate* I am aware that since I have a fandom tattoo myself it would be hypocritical to mock the fandom tattoos of others. And I don't want to be a hypocrite. So I'll let you guys decide. Here's my tattoo:[Found at Geekologie][Found at Geekologie]Here are a bunch more Twilight tattoos. Tell me what you think.(OK, I have to say one thing: I would NEVER get anyone's face tattooed on my body, EVER, especially an actor from a movie, and INCLUDING writer and patron saint Hunter S. Thompson. OK, OK, hypocrisy alert, I will shut up now.)Zombies* Zombie movies are important. They teach us survival skills and let us learn from the mistakes of others. Here are a few upcoming zombie movies I am looking forward to. I'll bring a notebook. Always be prepared.Girly Shit* I can't decide if I like this headband or not:[Found at FabSugar]On one hand, it's pretty funky and cool, and unique and interesting. Also Lady Gaga might wear it. On the other hand, I'm not sure how comfortable it would be, and it reminds me of the Other Mother in Coraline, and that was a SCARY book. I can't decide. Someone should buy it for me so I can examine it in person. FOR SCIENCE.Music* Before you read this, go see the movie Quadrophenia. I LOVE The Who. I saw them in concert in one of their reunion tours, of course AFTER John Entwhistle died, but that's irrelevant. Anyway, the movie is bizarre and British and I adore it in a geeky shameful sort of way. And now that I assume you've seen it, did you know that they sold the scooter from the movie? And it sold for 36,000 pounds. Which is like a million US dollars, right? Right? I want this scooter. Really, really badly. I'll trade my car for it! That's a good deal, yes? Or you could give it to me because you're nice. I still have car payments.Technology* YES! SUCCESS IN OUR TIME! If movies about the future are to be believed (and movies never lie) and this chart is accurate (and charts never lie), then we'll have hoverboards soon! [Found at Geekologie]And, you know, the apocalypse, with only Kevin Costner to save the human race... with... mail... but.... HOVERBOARDS. Focus on the positives. Like hoverboards.Watchmen* Remember Watchwomen? Of course you do, it was one of the most horrifying films ever wrought by the hand of man. Well, the man who made it is very upset that you don't appreciate his art, and would like a word with you. This man even stuns the International Society of Supervillains with his planned Doctor Who/Land of the Lost erotic crossover:
.''Yes you do. You're dying to see it. Shut up. Here's ten bucks.'* I bought Little Brother by Cory Doctorow yesterday. Which is apparently a very rare book in New Jersey. I'm very proud of myself. Not for getting the book, although I love Cory Doctorow and think he is a techno-wizard. No, I am proud because three girls behind me in line at Borders were very excitedly purchasing a copy of Lauren Conrad's book, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR FROM
, and I did not kill them and set fire to their hair in a literary rage.* I may get Nine Inch Nail tickets. For their last tour. PONDER THE WIN.* Last, but not least - in fact, the best news EVER - I am going to see Watchmen: The Director's Cut in theaters. On Friday. Not in my mind. In the real world. I WIN EVERYTHING. HURRAY FOR ME. CAPSLOCKS FAILS TO EXPRESS THE EXCITEMENT. Sorry, sorry. I will not brag. I am just ALL SMILES. We now return to your regularly scheduled nattering.Movie!Win* The new RunPee iPhone app almost makes me want to get an iPhone. Because I had to hold it in during Grindhouse, and may have done permanent physical damage, which was WORTH IT. But this program tells you the best times to pee during a movie. Think about this before you start laughing. How many times have you missed a great scene because of your bladder, and sat through a boring one immediately after? THIS. IS. GENIUS. They're working on a program that will vibrate to let you know when a pee time is coming up. It even tells you how much time you have to pee, and what you'll miss while you're in the lavatory. TECHNOLOGY IS AWESOME.Or you could just pee right before the movie. And immediately after. But there's not an iPhone app for that.Animals* I want a pet snake. Or a pet rat. (I know, my friends immediately chime in, 'But you had one in your old apartment!' To which I reply, 'Yes. I had a rat in my apartment. But it was the size of a large cat and it SCREAMED like a human child when it saw me and chewed through concrete and ate a block of poison and was still hungry and was evil and uncaged. That is NOT what I mean.') Anyway, this has very little to do with this topic, aside from the fact that it involves snakes and snakes are cool. And these kids are cool. [Found at UniqueDaily]These six-year-old kids are charming poisonous snakes. I'm watching Maury. The world is a strange place. And these kids may be snake-ninjas, but I'd still like to see them tussle with the Nuclear Rat in my apartment. I'm not exaggerating. That thing would have eaten my face if I hadn't moved out.Daily Hot Guy[Alan Tudyk, one of the few men in the universe who can make a Hawaiian shirt sexy, although I would have hoped that by the time Firefly took place we would have evolved past those]Apocalypse How?* If Warren Ellis has swine flu, we all have swine flu. And if he says it's swine flu and not just a cold, it is SWINE FLU. Do not question Mr. Ellis. Defer to him in all matters. Well, most matters. OK, all matters. TEAM ELLIS.Celebrity!Fail* Spike came out with a list of ten chicks that kick ass. It is, by and large, bullshit. Megan Fox? Don't get me started. You need to be smart to kick ass. Sienna Miller? Are you joking? Banging a married man and having terrible fashion sense does not make you kick ass. Nor does acting in G.I. Joe. STAY AWAY FROM CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON. I do approve of the addition of Zoe Bell, who could kill you without breaking a sweat, Michelle Obama, Angelina Jolie, and Ashley Force. But you know who kicks ass that ISN'T on the list: * Kate Winslet* Meryl Streep (I'm not kidding. She scared me beyond words in Doubt. She would eat you alive and then PRAY about it)* Dita Von Teese* Eliza Dushku (Dollhouse)* Catherine Tate (she got angry and she took no bullshit on Doctor Who)* Carla Gugino (Did you SEE the left hook she threw the Comedian in Watchmen? And have you seen her on Entourage?)* Holly Hunter (Saving Grace)* Gabrielle Anwar (She blows shit up on Burn Notice. SHE BLOWS THINGS UP. And she holds her own with Bruce Campbell)* Helena Bonham Carter (Because she is crazy and brilliant and does not CARE what you think of her, and also because she is the scariest person ever in Sweeney Todd and Harry Potter. I want to be Bellatrix LeStrange for Halloween, just so I can have that hair)* Emma Thompson (Because she rules. GAME OVER.)Doctor Who* Speaking of Doctor Who, who's excited for Waters of Mars?! Hands? Another Doctor Who special! YAY! Even though I live in America, where we get everything six damn months later, and spoilers have RUINED it for me, and it's NOT FAIR. But I am excited. Because Russell T. Davies hasn't abandoned us YET. And these clips look pretty sweet.TwiHate* I am aware that since I have a fandom tattoo myself it would be hypocritical to mock the fandom tattoos of others. And I don't want to be a hypocrite. So I'll let you guys decide. Here's my tattoo:[Found at Geekologie][Found at Geekologie]Here are a bunch more Twilight tattoos. Tell me what you think.(OK, I have to say one thing: I would NEVER get anyone's face tattooed on my body, EVER, especially an actor from a movie, and INCLUDING writer and patron saint Hunter S. Thompson. OK, OK, hypocrisy alert, I will shut up now.)Zombies* Zombie movies are important. They teach us survival skills and let us learn from the mistakes of others. Here are a few upcoming zombie movies I am looking forward to. I'll bring a notebook. Always be prepared.Girly Shit* I can't decide if I like this headband or not:[Found at FabSugar]On one hand, it's pretty funky and cool, and unique and interesting. Also Lady Gaga might wear it. On the other hand, I'm not sure how comfortable it would be, and it reminds me of the Other Mother in Coraline, and that was a SCARY book. I can't decide. Someone should buy it for me so I can examine it in person. FOR SCIENCE.Music* Before you read this, go see the movie Quadrophenia. I LOVE The Who. I saw them in concert in one of their reunion tours, of course AFTER John Entwhistle died, but that's irrelevant. Anyway, the movie is bizarre and British and I adore it in a geeky shameful sort of way. And now that I assume you've seen it, did you know that they sold the scooter from the movie? And it sold for 36,000 pounds. Which is like a million US dollars, right? Right? I want this scooter. Really, really badly. I'll trade my car for it! That's a good deal, yes? Or you could give it to me because you're nice. I still have car payments.Technology* YES! SUCCESS IN OUR TIME! If movies about the future are to be believed (and movies never lie) and this chart is accurate (and charts never lie), then we'll have hoverboards soon! [Found at Geekologie]And, you know, the apocalypse, with only Kevin Costner to save the human race... with... mail... but.... HOVERBOARDS. Focus on the positives. Like hoverboards.Watchmen* Remember Watchwomen? Of course you do, it was one of the most horrifying films ever wrought by the hand of man. Well, the man who made it is very upset that you don't appreciate his art, and would like a word with you. This man even stuns the International Society of Supervillains with his planned Doctor Who/Land of the Lost erotic crossover:
Dr. Who meets Land of LostDr. Who meets Land of LostI..that's just...No. I can't do it. Not even a cynic like me can mock the innocent love and playful eroticism that can only exist between a Dalek and a Sleestak. It's just too pure.I CAN! AND I WILL. OH, THE MOCKING WILL BE DELICIOUS.Incidentally, as long as this guy is alive and well, Zack Snyder has nothing to fear from Alan Moore.Tattoo Of Win[Found at LOLTATZ]Food* I swear, my little brother has eaten all of the top ten most disgusting candies. Or would, if he was given the chance. These aren't even GOOD candies. Like cowtails. I love those things. [Found at ListVerse]Oh. Dear. God. Ew. EW. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT SCABS. Kids have enough problems without this confusion. 'Mommy, why don't Timmy's scabs taste like the candy scabs?' 'Larry, call poison control NOW!'The week of Awesome Begins NOW:- LV
0 comments:
Post a Comment