Blog* if that's true, I am the world's perfect journalist. Title is from Transmetropolitan. Life* Me and Bloody Marys are separating for while. Heartburn and sodium bloat have taken the first blush off the romance.* Skype is equal parts awesome and wholly exasperating.Doctor Who* Here's an article on the new Companion, and some info and such. No, I am not going to be all excited. I am UPSET with Russell T. Davies. You are NOT Joss Whedon, and anyway, he only killed off THE WHOLE FREAKING CAST OF ANGEL when the show was CANCELLED, and I was STILL upset. What are you going to do next? Have the Doctor use up all his regenerations in one episode and ruin ANOTHER THING I LOVE? YOU ARE NOT A NICE NICE, Mr. Davies.People I Love* I DO, however, love James Franco. Not only was he part of the epic that was
(and no, nobody DIED per se, but it was CANCELLED), he was the best part of the Spider-Man movies, he was hot in
, Pineapple Express rocked, and in general I like him. So when they didn't want him to speak at the UCLA commencement, I was sad. Then I was delighted when the only person they could get instead was the guitarist from Linkin Park. That's KARMA, BABY. Stings, doesn't it? So here's the speech he WOULD have given, and I think we can all agree that it would have made the world a better place. I know I feel pure and enlightened now.
(and no, nobody DIED per se, but it was CANCELLED), he was the best part of the Spider-Man movies, he was hot in
, Pineapple Express rocked, and in general I like him. So when they didn't want him to speak at the UCLA commencement, I was sad. Then I was delighted when the only person they could get instead was the guitarist from Linkin Park. That's KARMA, BABY. Stings, doesn't it? So here's the speech he WOULD have given, and I think we can all agree that it would have made the world a better place. I know I feel pure and enlightened now.
James Franco's Rejected UCLA Commencement Speech from James Franco
Movie!Fail* Someone needs to have words with Robert Zemeckis. They don't all have to be mean words, but some of them will have to be quite strong. Polar Express was a scary, ugly movie, and Tom Hanks is NOT Santa Claus, no matter what he imagines when he's alone. Beowulf was kind of awesome, even if it was weird, and mainly because if I ever become an evil monster demon chick, I want to be all gold and shiny like Angelina Jolie. Also naked animated heinies are always funny. But enough of this animation shit. Because A Christmas Carol looks like the animated, even worse version of Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events, which is also too bad because I thought that film had potential. But Jim Carrey looks majorly creepy, and I don't want to see this, and also after A Muppet's Christmas Carol, do we really NEED another version? I'm not being sarcastic. Michael Caine was the motherfucking MAN as Ebeneezer Scrooge, and Tiny Tim was a hurt little frog, and I CRIED. Go watch it. Not this.Here's the Italian poster. I don't know why it's in Italian. I wasn't at that meeting. TELL ME it doesn't look like Lemony Snicket. You can't, CAN YOU?Depression Session* I should rename this category. Because, really, I'm just being negative, aren't I? I'm totally overreacting. Because really it's totally OK that millions of people can't afford to feed their kids, as long as we all understand that this is a cultural CLEANSING. It's like a giant cultural ENEMA. Of bad culture. We'll all stop being fat and lazy and like American Idol and Gray's Anatomy, and go to the opera more regularly. This is all bullshit, of course. As this article says, although it's inclined to be more forgiving. Personally I have an ENORMOUS issue with anyone who is willing to ignore human suffering for some vague cultural notion. SHIT, THE DUDE IS ADRIAN VEIDT. GET OUT OF THE MAJOR CITIES. HIDE YOUR BOYS FOLDER.Daily Hot Guy[David Beckham. He's a pretty boring DHG, but I forgive me for my lack of originality, because HOLY SHIT LOOK AT HIM. My eyes don't know where to START. Besides, I don't here any complaining. He and Jackie Earle Haley should do an underwear ad. Yeah, I said it. And it's GENIUS.Jersey!Fail* I wasn't going to mention this, because it is so freaking ridiculous. But I've gotten Emails, and it IS news, so I need to say something, yeah? Basically everyone in the northern part of my state was arrested on Thursday. For trafficking human body parts. Which were then served as barbecue to tourists heading to the Jersey Shore. I'm kidding about that last bit. Obviously we don't eat barbecue at the shore. But the human organs bit is true. And maybe someone ate them. YOU DON'T KNOW. In conclusion, my state can be pretty hilarious at times. I hope when they make the inevitable made for TV movie, they use the song 'Dead or Alive' by Bon Jovi. That would make me proud.TeeVee* The State is out on DVD. If you don't know this, you are a bad person, and can ONLY redeem yourself by buying it/renting it/sacrificing a younger sibling to the TeeVee gods. Also this is a valuable historical document as proof that, once upon a time, MTV showed things that didn't destroy your very will to live. The State is one of the best sketch shows ever, up there with Monty Python and A Bit of Fry and Laurie. Disagree? Go get a copy, and try not to love it. Give it your best shot. It's that good.Journalism* This is old, and at this point I'm hesitant to post anything related to Michael Jackson, because I feel like maybe the world needs a little break from stalking his corpse, just for a week or two, but it's weird enough that I want to post it. First off, I do not like Rush Limbaugh. I just don't. I don't think he speaks for the Republican party, I worry he undermines the people on the right who AREN'T awful and always screaming, and I seriously worry that he's going to eat Michael Steele, who doesn't deserve that. Also I think nearly everything he says is factually incorrect and not sane. These are just my opinions on him. I'm sitting here in my pajamas, so there's my credibility. But even if you like him, or don't dislike him as much as I do you do have to admit that this is sort of a weird parallel to draw between Michael Jackson and whoever was President at the time:Is it just me, or is that weird? I just.... I don't understand. Wouldn't he have done BETTER under Bush? Green Day released one of their best albums under him. What about Jimmy Carter? Why is he ignored? And, I mean, Dylan just released a gorgeous album, and Obama is currently president, so.... Does this only apply to Michael Jackson? Why would he be linked to the presidents? Is it all an allegory? Because it's not a very good one. And it's much more fun to take it literally. Reagan WAS nice to Michael Jackson, wasn't he? I would give good money to have sat in on one of their conversations. I imagine it was not of this world.Wow* This is a slow-motion image of a bubble bursting:[Found at UniqueDaily]Imagine, this must be how Zack Snyder sees the world ALL THE TIME.Geek Want* These are crayon rings:[Found at Neatorama]Things I would do with them:- Wear them to a party where someone I hated was wearing white, then casually draw a brown line down their back.- Use them as a brass knuckle that would MARK my attacker.- Quickly touch up my eyeshadow while on the run.- Sign my name on very important contracts.- Become a modern artist.Politics* I am fairly indifferent to Rudy Giuliani when he is not running for the Presidential nomination, because he reminds me of the titular character in Leprechaun, and also he married his cousin, which is TRUE. LOOK IT UP. But generally speaking, he's fine. He doesn't make me insane with anger, nor do I love him. He can exist, if he must. Here he is talking about health care. This is more entertaining because of what Wonkette said about him. They really hate him there, apparently. But remember: James Woods played him in a made-for-TV movie, so he can't be ALL BAD. I like James Woods. Remember that episode of Family Guy where he and Peter Griffin switched identities? Good times. Awesome* A reader found this shirt, for our club of Anger:You can apply to join, but our requirements are quite stringent, and the club fees are not cheap. You get special consideration if you didn't get to go to Comic-Con.Probably not more later, because I have stuff to do today. I AM BUSY. And NOT at Comic-Con. If you went, and have pictures or stories, Email them to me at elle.veev@gmail.com I will post them, and cry bitter tears of jealousy. It will be grand.- LV
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