I'm Not God, But If I Was, I'd Be An Angry God.

Blog* If Emerson was God, I would have pie. Title is from Pushing Daisies.Harry Potter* My friend Sa made this same argument that we got no closure at the end of , although she did make compelling argument for why Harry not being frozen actually made things more complicate. She's kind of a genius. And when I say kind of, I mean totally. I just wanted more Snape. And Lupin's part not to have been totally SHAFTED. But that's me.Star Trek* What could possibly make Star Trek any better? Answer: Stephen Colbert AND

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I think we're all thinking the same thing: the sequel is going to be AMAZING. All hail Colbert, ruler of the Romulan empire!Doctor Who* Remember back ye olde times, when Doctor Who was a family-friendly kids show, essentially?[Found at Wired]Yeah. Those days are over. This takes place after Planet of the Dead, yes? Forgive me, I'm American. We know so little over here in the colonies. Although we did make Captain Jack Harkness, so you're welcome. ALSO, since that was my clever topic change to last night's Torchwood, I have only this to say (and no real spoilers, so don't worry: FORGET THE BEANS, RHYS. LEAVE THE BEANS. THE BEANS CAN WAIT. THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THAN BEANS. DAMMIT. DAMMIT ALL TO HELL. OK, just needed to get that out of my system. Moving right along.Vampires* Here's an interview with actor Michael McMillian of True Blood, who plays the leader of the Fellowship of the Sun, that batshit insane anti-vampire group who doesn't realize that Sookie and Bill are having totally hot graveyard sex, or that Eric is the High Priest of Fierce. Also their sweaters are ugly, and the dude's wife is under the impression that Jason 'I Shall Be Naked And Sexing It For Always' Stackhouse is Jesus, which makes me feel good about being an atheist. Although ever since Barbie Buffy started sexing with Jason, for Christ, those segments have become moderately more interesting. Comics* First of all, just because you've seen Blade Runner does NOT mean you are a Philip K. Dick fan. Are we clear? No, taking lots of weird drugs doesn't count either. Spit that out right now. If you haven't read his books, go read them immediately if not sooner. I'm serious. They are great. THEN, maybe, if you write a decent book report, I'll let you read the comic version of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? which I am fairly interested in, if only because Dick's books lend themselves so well to visual storytelling. And god help you if I catch you using SparkNotes.People I Love* I have no idea who this person is, but I love them. Desperately. I also love the ISS, for bringing this genius to life. Why don't I get Emails like this? Why is MY Inbox filled with nothing but spam and letters from family and friends? Where are MY wingnuts, dammit?!Daily Hot Guy[Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who I have loved since Third Rock From the Sun and Angels in the Outfield (YES!), who abruptly grew up and became a hot, talented actor, and I suddenly want to get into modeling. No reason]Sequel!Fail* They are making a third Bridget Jones movie. Look, I liked the first one. I have no problem admitting that. It was funny and sweet and clever, and I only wish the biggest problem in my life was choosing between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth, who are DELIGHTFUL. It was a good movie! I enjoyed it immensely. Plus I still quote it often, and Salman Rushdie was in it. Which is still weird, if you think about it.Then they made the second. That was bad. The book was bad too, and involved Bridget trading sex for cigarettes in jail. But mainly my issue was that Bridget went sort of insane and brought most of her misery upon herself by acting like a crazy bitch. And she wasn't very nice to Mark Darcy. And the lesbian plot was just... baffling. SO MANY ISSUES. So now a third. There is no reason for this. Is there even a third book? Bridget Jones should face off with Carrie Bradshow in a fight to the death. Winner gets to keep making shitty sequels. Loser is killed and skinned and worn as a coat by the winner. Because these women do not represent me. And no, I WON'T be seeing the third Bridget Jones, unless it's directed by Spike Jonze, written by Charlie Kauffman, and Russell Brand shows up and makes love to the camera. Those are my conditions.Depression Session* Wheee! This is a calculator that tells you how long you'll be in debt to the credit card companies! Hurrah and such! Although if the credit card companies collapse, obviously you won't have to worry about paying them back. For example, if your credit card balance is $1,000, and your APR is 17% (numbers chosen at random, based on the credit card commercial that just came on), you'll be in debt for seven years, if you incur no more charges and only pay off the minimum, which is all anybody will be able to afford! AND you'll pay $752 in interest charges! ISN'T THAT AWESOME? That's all for now. - LV

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