Blog
* I love Spider Jerusalem. Or hate him. Whatever he wants. Title is from Transmetropolitan, the best comic ever, except for some others, but it's genius and Darick Robertson is a nice guy. And Warren Ellis is, of course, a member of the Unholy Pantheon.
Freakangels Friday
* This week, there is no interlude, or WHATEVER. THERE IS ONLY THE GLORY OF FREAKANGELS. Which you should read right after reading my blog, and recommending my blog to everyone, because while I make no money off of this, maybe if I ever publish a book you will all feel pity for me and buy copies. So I'll sell three. Anyway, FREAKANGELS, HUZZAH! I cheated a little and read the first panel, but WHATEVER, I missed it last week. A week without FREAKANGELS is worthless. As every week, I will not read it until after I post this entry, and there will be spoilers at the bottom, under my signature.
Celebrity!Fail
* I don't GET Agyness Deyn. I also don't like typing her name, shouldn't it be spelled Agnes? Or am I mispronouncing it? Because boy, would that be embarrassing, and it would increase my dislike for her. Even though it would be MY fault, and not hers, that I mispronounce words. Anyway, she is a super-famous model-type, but she thinks she is one of those model-types that is determined to prove how quirky and interesting she is. Which I have enormous problems with.
[Found at GrrlPlanet]
Look, you are rich. Richer than I will ever be in this lifetime, unless I get impregnated by a celebrity who is married and must give me MILLIONS to keep my mouth shut. I have no plans for this weekend, why do you ask? Anyway. She is rich. And famous. And other famous people hang out with her. And I watched America's Next Top Model for ages, but really modeling is still essentially walking around in gorgeous clothes. You are pretty, and have a look that designers love. You are tall as all hell, and your hair is amazing and I could never pull it off. So be grateful you are getting paid loads of money to BE PRETTY. This is a GOOD JOB.
I get it. You don't want to come across as vapid. You want to be seen as a complete person with thoughts and dreams and a personality. That's fair. But wearing shit like this isn't the right way to go:
[Found at TheInsider]
You are not Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga wears weird shit as a art. She ENJOYS the weird. You can tell. She gave her teacup a NAME. Yes, I'm biased, but Gaga's wardrobe is so weird that it crosses the line from 'This girl has no fashion sense,' to 'This girl is doing something with clothes that goes beyond fashion.'
Also, Agnes, may I call you Agnes? You are not a unique and beautiful snowflake. I lived in the East Village, wear Converse, smoke cigarettes, and love weird hats. I'm not rich and famous and tall, but you don't seem to like that part of your life. You don't like fashion? Here's a thought. I'll trade with you for a day. I'll wear gorgeous expensive clothes and be tall and use my millions to buy Russell Brand, or at least get his phone number. You come chill in Jersey with my parents and my brother. We'll see who cracks first. And I won't be ass enough to complain about my life. Also no trade-backs.
PS You want to be an un-modely model? Kate Moss already played that part, and SHE got Johnny Depp. Back to square one, Aggie.
Doctor Who
* I don't care WHO directs the Doctor Who movie. I just want it out NOW. I also want people to stop Tweeting about Torchwood, because I don't get to see it until the 20th of July because American TV FAILS hideously. And now I'm all worried about Ianto, who I LOVE, and don't want anything to happen to him because my favorite characters always die. Can we just have the Doctor Who movie? And Torchwood now? And Ianto come and console me? And Jack be a sexy rascal? And Doctor Who and Torchwood combine forces and make a Rated R movie? Ooh, my coffee just kicked in.
TwiHate
* The title of the article is: Will Twilight Ruin This Year's Comic Con?
Yes. Next?
Zombies
* OH NO, THEY GOT THE BUNNIES!
[Found at TheWorldsBestEver]
We're doomed. DOOMED. Who could decapitate Mr. Flopsy-Wopsy?
Girly Shit
* Here is an article about mascaras. Because I worry about thick lashes, in between fretting over the zombie apocalypse and the Watchmen Director's Cut and the NIN tour that I NEED to attend, and how to get hold of a flame-thrower, and when I'm going to finish my damn book. I do. This is why my brain always hurts. And why I can never remember what day it is.
Music
* Lady Gaga officially beats Madonna, in case you had any doubts. Remember when Madonna had the cone boobs? Watch this:
That is right, her cone-like boobs BURST INTO SPARKLY FLAMES. SUCK IT, MADONNA. Go pretend to be British with Gwyneth Paltrow. I need to go buy TWO flame-throwers.
Technology
* This robot serves coffee.
Why, I wonder, is it not here serving its purpose? Now I have to get up and get another cup ON MY OWN. Thanks for nothing, Japan.
Watchmen
* This is the only thing keeping me from crying bitter fangirl tears over A) The Comic-Con, B) My stress over trying to get to the theater to see Watchmen next week, and C) Life, in General. Because loyal fans can view the Watchmen panel at the Comic-Con from the INTERWEBZ. If they.... bought the Blu-Ray? WAIT A SECOND, WAIT A SECOND. I DON'T HAVE BLU-RAY, ZACK SNYDER. I am trying to sell organs to get to this movie, and driving my friends to the brink of sanity, and THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME? I HAVE A RORSCHACH TATTOO. I SHOULD GET TO GO TO EVERYTHING FOR FREE. AIRTIGHT LOGIC. I need more coffee.
Tattoo Of Win
[Found at LOLTATZ]
Um... then... why did you get a ketchup tattoo? Because you could have gotten mustard, you know. As a tattoo. If you wanted.
Daily Hot Guy
[Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach. As the brilliant danceswithelvis succinctly put it, 'Nothing is getting done now.']
Food
* I was born in 1986 (waits for chorus of either A) "Oh, I feel old", or B) "Wow, she's OLD" to subside), so I missed most of the eighties, being caught up with learning basic motor skills and all. But I remember everything from this list of Top Ten Uniquely '80s Foods:
10. Jawbreakers: Didn't.
9. The California Raisin: I still will not eat raisins, because of those commercials, and also this conversation.... Dammit, I can't find the clip. Well, here's the trailer, and listen to the bit about raisins and how they fail. It's Johnny Depp, and this is one of my all-time favorite romances, ever.
Ah, hell, here's another brilliant clip, and I may have fallen in love with a guy because he did that roll thing for me once. This may also explain my fedora love.
8. Cool Ranch Doritos: Weren't.
7. Tri-Color Pasta Salad: My mom still makes this. Now it's VEGAN, though.
6. Orange Julius: I wasn't allowed to have these, for complicated reasons I can't remember.
5. Equal: I'm a Splenda girl now.
4. Artificially Flavored Fruit Snacks: I wasn't ALLOWED to have Gushers, so I had to trade for them at school. My little brother lives entirely off of these things now. This still angers mke.
3. Tab Cola: I STILL DRINK THIS. I love Tab. But it's expensive, so I can't buy it every week, since I drink so much soda that this would run me into financial ruin in under a month.
2. Lean Cuisine: I still eat these.
1. Capri Sun: I loved this. My brother now loves them. Some things never change.
Words Of Win
[Found at GiveUpInternet]
YouTube Wonders
* I know this video has made the rounds, and it's disgusting, but I was one of the FEW people who knew immediately what this grossness was:
When I was a little girl, I had pet newts. I don't know why. I wanted a goddamn puppy. And later got one, but first I had newts, to prove I was responsible. Even though newts are not the most labor-intensive pets you can hope for. This is a newt:
[Found at WildInBritain]
I loved my newts. They were cute and not slimy at all, and they crawled on my fingers. And they ate these:
I didn't like to feed my newts, and usually cried until my dad did it for me. Bugs are gross. So in conclusion, I am smarter than the internets. I always suspected.
That was long. Coffee powers ACTIVATED!
- LV
SPOILERS FOR THIS WEEK'S FREAKANGELS BELOW
KARL LIVES! Actually, I think this week's FREAKANGELS raised a really interesting question about rape, and memory, and didn't fall on either side. I'm intrigued. Then it went straight to Karl yelling about Abu Ghraib and winding up for a real self-righteous rant, and then Arkady starts yelling about poo, and this panel made me snerk coffee:
There is NOTHING Warren Ellis and Paul Duffield can't do. NOTHING. And KARL HASN'T DIED YET! I AM SMILES! Until next week....
* I love Spider Jerusalem. Or hate him. Whatever he wants. Title is from Transmetropolitan, the best comic ever, except for some others, but it's genius and Darick Robertson is a nice guy. And Warren Ellis is, of course, a member of the Unholy Pantheon.
Freakangels Friday
* This week, there is no interlude, or WHATEVER. THERE IS ONLY THE GLORY OF FREAKANGELS. Which you should read right after reading my blog, and recommending my blog to everyone, because while I make no money off of this, maybe if I ever publish a book you will all feel pity for me and buy copies. So I'll sell three. Anyway, FREAKANGELS, HUZZAH! I cheated a little and read the first panel, but WHATEVER, I missed it last week. A week without FREAKANGELS is worthless. As every week, I will not read it until after I post this entry, and there will be spoilers at the bottom, under my signature.
Celebrity!Fail
* I don't GET Agyness Deyn. I also don't like typing her name, shouldn't it be spelled Agnes? Or am I mispronouncing it? Because boy, would that be embarrassing, and it would increase my dislike for her. Even though it would be MY fault, and not hers, that I mispronounce words. Anyway, she is a super-famous model-type, but she thinks she is one of those model-types that is determined to prove how quirky and interesting she is. Which I have enormous problems with.
[Found at GrrlPlanet]
Look, you are rich. Richer than I will ever be in this lifetime, unless I get impregnated by a celebrity who is married and must give me MILLIONS to keep my mouth shut. I have no plans for this weekend, why do you ask? Anyway. She is rich. And famous. And other famous people hang out with her. And I watched America's Next Top Model for ages, but really modeling is still essentially walking around in gorgeous clothes. You are pretty, and have a look that designers love. You are tall as all hell, and your hair is amazing and I could never pull it off. So be grateful you are getting paid loads of money to BE PRETTY. This is a GOOD JOB.
I get it. You don't want to come across as vapid. You want to be seen as a complete person with thoughts and dreams and a personality. That's fair. But wearing shit like this isn't the right way to go:
[Found at TheInsider]
You are not Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga wears weird shit as a art. She ENJOYS the weird. You can tell. She gave her teacup a NAME. Yes, I'm biased, but Gaga's wardrobe is so weird that it crosses the line from 'This girl has no fashion sense,' to 'This girl is doing something with clothes that goes beyond fashion.'
Also, Agnes, may I call you Agnes? You are not a unique and beautiful snowflake. I lived in the East Village, wear Converse, smoke cigarettes, and love weird hats. I'm not rich and famous and tall, but you don't seem to like that part of your life. You don't like fashion? Here's a thought. I'll trade with you for a day. I'll wear gorgeous expensive clothes and be tall and use my millions to buy Russell Brand, or at least get his phone number. You come chill in Jersey with my parents and my brother. We'll see who cracks first. And I won't be ass enough to complain about my life. Also no trade-backs.
PS You want to be an un-modely model? Kate Moss already played that part, and SHE got Johnny Depp. Back to square one, Aggie.
Doctor Who
* I don't care WHO directs the Doctor Who movie. I just want it out NOW. I also want people to stop Tweeting about Torchwood, because I don't get to see it until the 20th of July because American TV FAILS hideously. And now I'm all worried about Ianto, who I LOVE, and don't want anything to happen to him because my favorite characters always die. Can we just have the Doctor Who movie? And Torchwood now? And Ianto come and console me? And Jack be a sexy rascal? And Doctor Who and Torchwood combine forces and make a Rated R movie? Ooh, my coffee just kicked in.
TwiHate
* The title of the article is: Will Twilight Ruin This Year's Comic Con?
Yes. Next?
Zombies
* OH NO, THEY GOT THE BUNNIES!
[Found at TheWorldsBestEver]
We're doomed. DOOMED. Who could decapitate Mr. Flopsy-Wopsy?
Girly Shit
* Here is an article about mascaras. Because I worry about thick lashes, in between fretting over the zombie apocalypse and the Watchmen Director's Cut and the NIN tour that I NEED to attend, and how to get hold of a flame-thrower, and when I'm going to finish my damn book. I do. This is why my brain always hurts. And why I can never remember what day it is.
Music
* Lady Gaga officially beats Madonna, in case you had any doubts. Remember when Madonna had the cone boobs? Watch this:
That is right, her cone-like boobs BURST INTO SPARKLY FLAMES. SUCK IT, MADONNA. Go pretend to be British with Gwyneth Paltrow. I need to go buy TWO flame-throwers.
Technology
* This robot serves coffee.
Why, I wonder, is it not here serving its purpose? Now I have to get up and get another cup ON MY OWN. Thanks for nothing, Japan.
Watchmen
* This is the only thing keeping me from crying bitter fangirl tears over A) The Comic-Con, B) My stress over trying to get to the theater to see Watchmen next week, and C) Life, in General. Because loyal fans can view the Watchmen panel at the Comic-Con from the INTERWEBZ. If they.... bought the Blu-Ray? WAIT A SECOND, WAIT A SECOND. I DON'T HAVE BLU-RAY, ZACK SNYDER. I am trying to sell organs to get to this movie, and driving my friends to the brink of sanity, and THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME? I HAVE A RORSCHACH TATTOO. I SHOULD GET TO GO TO EVERYTHING FOR FREE. AIRTIGHT LOGIC. I need more coffee.
Tattoo Of Win
[Found at LOLTATZ]
Um... then... why did you get a ketchup tattoo? Because you could have gotten mustard, you know. As a tattoo. If you wanted.
Daily Hot Guy
[Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach. As the brilliant danceswithelvis succinctly put it, 'Nothing is getting done now.']
Food
* I was born in 1986 (waits for chorus of either A) "Oh, I feel old", or B) "Wow, she's OLD" to subside), so I missed most of the eighties, being caught up with learning basic motor skills and all. But I remember everything from this list of Top Ten Uniquely '80s Foods:
10. Jawbreakers: Didn't.
9. The California Raisin: I still will not eat raisins, because of those commercials, and also this conversation.... Dammit, I can't find the clip. Well, here's the trailer, and listen to the bit about raisins and how they fail. It's Johnny Depp, and this is one of my all-time favorite romances, ever.
Ah, hell, here's another brilliant clip, and I may have fallen in love with a guy because he did that roll thing for me once. This may also explain my fedora love.
8. Cool Ranch Doritos: Weren't.
7. Tri-Color Pasta Salad: My mom still makes this. Now it's VEGAN, though.
6. Orange Julius: I wasn't allowed to have these, for complicated reasons I can't remember.
5. Equal: I'm a Splenda girl now.
4. Artificially Flavored Fruit Snacks: I wasn't ALLOWED to have Gushers, so I had to trade for them at school. My little brother lives entirely off of these things now. This still angers mke.
3. Tab Cola: I STILL DRINK THIS. I love Tab. But it's expensive, so I can't buy it every week, since I drink so much soda that this would run me into financial ruin in under a month.
2. Lean Cuisine: I still eat these.
1. Capri Sun: I loved this. My brother now loves them. Some things never change.
Words Of Win
[Found at GiveUpInternet]
YouTube Wonders
* I know this video has made the rounds, and it's disgusting, but I was one of the FEW people who knew immediately what this grossness was:
When I was a little girl, I had pet newts. I don't know why. I wanted a goddamn puppy. And later got one, but first I had newts, to prove I was responsible. Even though newts are not the most labor-intensive pets you can hope for. This is a newt:
[Found at WildInBritain]
I loved my newts. They were cute and not slimy at all, and they crawled on my fingers. And they ate these:
I didn't like to feed my newts, and usually cried until my dad did it for me. Bugs are gross. So in conclusion, I am smarter than the internets. I always suspected.
That was long. Coffee powers ACTIVATED!
- LV
SPOILERS FOR THIS WEEK'S FREAKANGELS BELOW
KARL LIVES! Actually, I think this week's FREAKANGELS raised a really interesting question about rape, and memory, and didn't fall on either side. I'm intrigued. Then it went straight to Karl yelling about Abu Ghraib and winding up for a real self-righteous rant, and then Arkady starts yelling about poo, and this panel made me snerk coffee:
There is NOTHING Warren Ellis and Paul Duffield can't do. NOTHING. And KARL HASN'T DIED YET! I AM SMILES! Until next week....
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