Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Did I Just Hear That The Animal Turned Inside Out & Then EXPLODED?!

Blog
* Well, yes you did, but you didn't hear Guy weeping under the console, so really, you should calm down. Title is from Galaxy Quest.

Podcast
* The fourth episode of World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley is up. We discuss Human Target, an interview with a Comic-Con lucky (who's nice, so I forgive her for having the best day of my life), and Freddy Kreuger. And of course the usual amazing genius, and WHY ISN'T HUMAN TARGET ON TV NOW? Go take a listen. Your life will be better.


Torchwood
* This is a great review of Torchwood: Children of the Earth, in a manner that reminds me of my college. I went to liberal arts school, and this is the sort of analysis I lived for. It's well-reasoned, intelligent, and thorough. It also goes into excruciating detail about Ianto and Jack's relationship, and why it's so sad, and quotes the line that STARTED my Children of the Earth crying jag, not that I cried again when I read it, and if I did, it was due to a lack of coffee.
I really need someone to analyze Torchwood with me. I have so many problems with season one. How can one show veer so dramatically between brilliance and idiocy?

People I Love
* It's no secret that I watch Burn Notice exclusively for Bruce Campbell. I'm just thankful that the show is funny and smart and exciting and has a great cast, but even if it was the worst show in the history of television, I would tune in every week to see The Chin of Destiny. So my loyalty is clear. But Jeffrey Donovan, who plays Michael, also deserves some fangirl love. He's a superb actor, he looks GREAT in an undershirt, he can kill you with a toothpick, and when he gets arrested for a DUI, he's funny as hell:
"Sorry, I didn't see the red light or your stopped car."
He said that to the cops. And this:
"The only mistake I made tonight was drinking Benadryl with 3 glasses of wine"
BAMF. Not that drinking and driving is EVER OK, and he should be punished, and if anyone had been hurt, it wouldn't be remotely funny or cool. But nobody was hurt, so I can laugh at his lines. If you're going to get into deep shit with the cops, at least you can make it entertaining.

Stuff To Live
* This model is about the hope for the obsolescence of war, and a world of peace, and a future in which weapons are as extinct as the dinosaur.

[Found at TheWorldsBestEver]
I looked at it and shouted, 'HOLY SHIT A TRICERA-COPTER! DO WANT!' Because I'm a terrible person, and this would look SWEET in my room.

Movie!Fail
* One day I have to do a list of children's movies that RUINED MY LIFE. Like this one movie, about a puppy who nobody wants, but she gets adopted by a homeless man who loves her, then he DIES. AND I JUST SPENT TWENTY MINUTES LOOKING FOR THE MOVIE ON THE INTERWEBZ, AND CANNOT FIND IT. It was called 'Sammi,' I think. It was FUCKED UP. Can someone find proof I didn't dream it?
Anyway, another movie high on that list is The Rats of Nimh. Alarming book, disturbing movie, and really I don't need to relieve that terror with hi-tech special effects, so maybe let's not remake it, OK? Remember that movie? Baby rat is dying, so Momma Rat has to help him, and it's sad and she's so desperate and worried, and it's depressing? I'd much rather see yet another talking vegetables movie.

TeeVee
* This marks the end of an era. Reno 911! has been cancelled. So, in honor of the short-shorts, here are two of my favorite exchanges from the show:
Dangle: Smiley reminds me of someone from Mary Poppins... Not Vic, the Chimney Sweep, but another friend of Mary Poppins we never met.
Wiegel: That's funny, because Smiley also reminds me of someone from Merry Poppins. Who, for instance, comes riding in on some sort of jaloppy with Whipped ices, and he says, "Come along, children, I have whipped ices!" And when they get close enough to him, he grabs 'em, and rapes the shit out of 'em, and then tosses them in the back seat, and then, off he goes. And then: "Chip chip cherryoh!"
[Dangle is speechless.]

Unfortunately, now I jokingly say, 'Rape the shit out of them,' in mixed company.
Deputy Travis Junior: What'd I miss?
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: You're mad, aren't you? Well... maybe I will fucking try and kill myself now! You're all disappointed... that I didn't try and kill myself! Well, I'll make you happy this time! I'm gonna go jump in the fucking ocean!
[Wiegel gives everyone the finger]
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Fuck you, cocksuckers! Fuck you!
[sad]
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Fuck you, all right? Fuck you. I'm jumping in the ocean!
Deputy Travis Junior: What did I miss?
Deputy Clementine Johnson: She can't find her way to the ocean.
Lt. Jim Dangle: She can't find her way to her car.

When I grow up, I want to be nothing at all like Trudy. Nothing at all.

Journalism
* This actually makes me very angry, as a woman and a human being and not an idiot. Read this article on gender, and see why I am seriously pissed off. I'll wait.
You read it? I can't believe we still don't accept that women can be as geeky as men! I know that may sound stupid, but really, us women-folk can only use the Twitter and the MySpace to talk to celebrities. We don't know NOTHING about that fancy HTMLXYZ you talk about. I mean, I've been using HTML since LiveJournal, and my friend (who shall remain nameless) hacked into the school's computer system in high school, and of course there's WPTJEH which is made and run by fangirls...
Look, I'm not a huge genius at technology. I get by. But why does it have to be one or the other? Why do I have to choose between being slut with no geek credentials, or a hideous nerd stereotype?
On this blog, I argue for the widening of labels. I love comics, and zombie movies, and technology, and cartoons. I would give an organ to Bruce Campbell if he asked (not my own, but...) I have a fandom tattoo. I read science fiction and horror and fantasy. And yet I have friends and dates and a life. I am socially functional. I like wearing makeup and cute clothes. And I am not unique. I know dozens - maybe hundreds of women who can comfortably walk in both worlds. So stop trying to make us choose just one. It's less fun for all involved, and boring in the extreme.

Geek Want
* Speaking of geekery, Look at the cute little robot! Is he cute? Yes he is! YES HE IS.

[Found at LikeCool]
M-O from Wall-E was one of the best parts in that lovely and heart-wrenching movie. Yes I cried. I cry at all Pixar movies. It's what I do. Anyway, this little dude will clean up my desk, but I would just roll him back and forth going, 'Vroom vroom!' and it would make my life good.

Daily Hot Guy

[Masi Oka, most famous for playing Hiro on Heroes, who is the most adorable human being ALIVE. Seriously, when he is happy, you feel happy. When he is sad, you feel sad. I'm going to be rewatching Heroes soon, and I'm sure I'll be filled with rage over its uneven presentation, but never Hiro. Never. He and Sylar are my favorites. Also, did you know Masi Oka really is a genius? That's hot. But I prefer him with his Hiro glasses by far.]

Politics
* This is Vanity Fair's take on Sarah Palin's resignation. Look, I promise I'll leave her alone soon, but there is NOTHING going on but health care stuff, and I am not even TOUCHING that, because people get understandably mental about it. And while I do blather about politics a bit here, this is not a subject I am remotely educated enough in to discuss. So I'll continue making fun of politicians and pundits, OK? OK.

Awesome
* I want to buy this for someone:

[Found at IncredibleThings]
It's a comb for bald men. But I don't want to buy it for a bald guy. Oh, no. Not even a balding guy. I want to buy it for a dude with a full head of hair who is WORRIED about going bald. Give him this on his 30th birthday, and watch his psyche crack like an eggshell. Fun for all! At least, for me.

WTF, INTERNET?
* Well, I have been rendered speechless:

[Found at UniqueDaily]
Oh, wait, no I haven't. WHAT THE FUCK, MAN? THIS IS INSANE. I.... Can you imagine going on a date with a nice guy, and he seems funny and sweet, and a little strange, but in a good way? Then you go home with him, and see that thing parked outside his house? You'd have to join a nunnery. You'd have to give up on dating entirely.
On the plus side, maybe that bike will keep the guy from ever reproducing.

Movie!Win
* I am so relieved I Love You, Phillip Morris is supposed to be a good movie, because I am attracted to Jim Carrey in a way I don't want to discuss (and I don't LIKE him, but physically - DAMN. It's a terrible burden, believe me). And Ewan McGregor is great, and he knows Christopher Eccleston and Danny Boyle, which is REASON ENOUGH to like him. Anyway, movie!win for allowing me to enjoy attractive men AND a good movie all at once:


OK, I spent way too much time trying to find that animated dog movie (Sammi? Samantha? HELP ME). Work now.

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