Blog* Oh, go repeat the ship's computer. Title is from Galaxy Quest.Freakangels Friday* Huzzah yet again. The weekly huzzah. Freakangels is here, and Warren Ellis will yell at you on Twitter if you don't read it, which is SCARY, actually, especially when he threatens to take a dump in your bed. HE DID THIS. So go read Freakangels, because I do not want to have to change my sheets.Movie!Fail* Why? WHY? I... Why do we need a sequel to The first one is genius. GENIUS. It should never be messed with. EVER. So why would you need a sequel? WHAT COULD A SEQUEL POSSIBLY OFFER? Here's an idea. Rerelease Who Framed Roger Rabbit? in 3-D. I will see it over and over. That would be AWESOME.TeeVee* Here's a list of the ten best heroes that can't die. Only I don't think Captain Jack Harkness qualifies anymore, BECAUSE OF ALL THE CRIMES HE COMMITTED. Um. Yes. This list also includes people from
, and Highlander, because Highlander is WIN and I want to watch it right now, even though it's not TV related at all.Journalism* Bill O'Reilly is yelling again. I don't know. The media is corrupt. I'm less put of by his yelling, which he does A LOT (he does. Even my grandmother, who adores Mr. O'Reilly, thinks he needs to learn voice volume control) than by this dull topic. Yes, yes, the media is run by liberals, or conservatives, or giant mutant ants from space. It's always your enemies that control the media, isn't it? Nobody ever says, "we totally own the media, and it is AWESOME, and we're bringing back Arrested Development." If Bill O'Reilly said that, I would have to reconsider my dislike of him. Because anyone who beings back Arrested Development is a good person. These are my terms for liking you, Mr. O'Reilly. Your move. Daily Hot Guy[Alexander Skarsgard, AKA Eric Northman from True Blood, who I have learned is related to ever other Swedish actor I know, which is FINE, but jarring, and I have to confess I am staring at him and not reading what I write at ALL]Geek Want* THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT:[Found at DVICE]We don't need video games to promote the Transformers franchise. THEY ARE EXTRANEOUS. We need working Transformer cameras. This is what we've been missing. It actually works. And it takes pictures with FILM. See? We don't need Megan Fox and her Pout of Fail. We need.... you're thinking about Megan Fox now, aren't you? WITH the camera? Well, that failed spectacularly. Politics* I want one of these posters:[Found at BestWeekEver]I also like and support the logic that these posters really are celebrating Obama, because the Joker was the best part of the Dark Knight. That's logic I can believe in. No, I will probably NOT stop parodying that slogan any time soon, so stop asking.* [Found at XKCD]Why isn't real life more like this? * According to this site, Sarah and Todd Palin are going to divorce, which is why she resigned, etc. Now, as you all know I love Sarah Palin because I think she is crazy, but I also think we're close to entering Britney Spears territory here (where it's not funny because they are having actual problems, and the whole thing becomes sad) and I don't want that, because Sarah Palin is an endless source of entertainment, and I still hold out hope she will run for office with Blago as her running mate. But I will say that I will not believe that she's getting a divorce until she says so. Read the article. It's not... coherent, is it? OK, it is. But it's not good. And I have immediate and serious doubts over any website that needs to remind you that it's consistently right. (Except mine, because if you need to find out if a character is going to die in a movie/TV series, find out if I like them!) But this smacks of serious bullshit. Now, I am not generous, or unbiased by any stretch of the imagination. But I am not going to fall on either side of this. If Sarah Palin confirms she's getting a divorce, she has my condolences. If she isn't, I hope she has another press conference in front of animals getting chopped up. Until then, life can continue as normal.Awesome* Reader Julie, who is herself completely awesome and a regular contributor to FEAR AND LOATHING, showed me that religion can be amazing. The Bible is Badass, as you can read here. They could have replaced most of the dialogue from 300 with REAL Bible verses. Except this one:[Found at Cracked]Yeah, that would have taken the movie into a wholly different direction. A sinister direction. A horse sex direction. And since Zack Snyder would have insisted on filming it in slow motion, maybe I should give up on trying to make the Bible awesome. Especially since I'm unaffiliated, religiously. That tends to piss everyone off.WTF, INTERNET?* This is getting out of hand:[Found at Geekologie]Look, I like bacon. I eat it daily. This blog fully endorses bacon and the many fried wonders it has to offer. But we need to calm down. It is slices of fried meat that has been cured. There is NO NEED for customized bacon shoes. I... I don't know how else to express this to you. We have bacon dresses and shoes and lube and vodka. WHY are there no products that are mayonnaise-based? Huh? I love mayo. I put it ON bacon, and also chocolate, sometimes, which grosses everyone out. But do I get mayonnaise shoes?.... Yes, there are white shoes, but the point.... THE POINT... fine. FINE. Forget it. Go eat your bacon, you heathens. I've got to order about twenty pairs of these for every vegan I know.Movie!Win* I can't decide if I desperately want David Tennant to play Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, or if I want anyone else on the planet to play Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit. For what it's worth, I agree with the article that James McAvoy would be the best, and most likely, option. But no one listens to me, otherwise Will Smith would not be doing remake of Oldboy. Whoever gets cast, as long as Hugo Weaving shows up as the High Elf of Sex, I'm fine. WHAT? Elves need love too.Russell Brand* Oh dear God. Russell Brand is wearing a cowboy hat, P. Diddy is dressed like Gilligan, and I am way too charmed by this to have any respect for my morals. Look how excited they are! And why am I not invited to Diddy's White Party? I'm... um... important.... to some people.... I just remembered. Isn't Russell Brand adorable? Look how I've changed the subject!Jackie Earle Haley* Here's an interview with Mr. Haley about A Nightmare On Elm Street, including something we talked about in the podcast. Dude has weird dreams about giant bugs. I have a recurring dream about the zombie apocalypse. And this one about a man with bloody stumps for fingers who sits in the corner of my room pointing at me and grinning. Yeah, I can haz issuez. Anyway, if I can't find the damn trailer for A Nightmare on Elm Street ANYWHERE online, at least I can hope for a media blitz of Mr. Haley:[Found at StarPulse]Also I'd like those glasses. They're adorable. * I've seen this clip before. Like a lot. But it's a scene from Human Target and has both Jackie Earle Haley WITH A MUSTACHE and Chi MacBride, who was GENIUS as Emerson Cod in Pushing Daisies, and I already love this show so much that they really don't have to bother MAKING it, because it's already earned a permanent place in my weird little heart.* People are listening to World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley. Important people. Beautiful people. Wise people. Don't you want to be categorized as such? Go listen. Every episode gets better, so in about two months the podcast will ALMOST be on par with Mr. Haley. I said almost. I'm realistic.Going to read FREAKANGELS now (spoilers below my signature), and probably sulk over the fact that I am not allowed to buy small mammals to name after fictional characters and make sure they are not exploded by blue slow-talking JERKS, or poisoned by aliens too stupid to have real names. And I need to make T-shirts (JEH-themed and Stoltz-themed, naturally). Also I think I need to redye my hair. Nothing red can stay.- LVSPOILERS FOR THIS WEEK'S FREAKANGELS:* There is some SHIT going on between Karl and Arkady, which means he's going to die, because the characters I love DIE. There will be a LONG BLOG ON THIS, soon. When I have enough alcohol to cushion the system, because it's SAD. Anyway, good entry, almost no dialogue, nobody wants to kill Luke, so maybe Conner can just shoot him in the dick once a week, for laughs?
, and Highlander, because Highlander is WIN and I want to watch it right now, even though it's not TV related at all.Journalism* Bill O'Reilly is yelling again. I don't know. The media is corrupt. I'm less put of by his yelling, which he does A LOT (he does. Even my grandmother, who adores Mr. O'Reilly, thinks he needs to learn voice volume control) than by this dull topic. Yes, yes, the media is run by liberals, or conservatives, or giant mutant ants from space. It's always your enemies that control the media, isn't it? Nobody ever says, "we totally own the media, and it is AWESOME, and we're bringing back Arrested Development." If Bill O'Reilly said that, I would have to reconsider my dislike of him. Because anyone who beings back Arrested Development is a good person. These are my terms for liking you, Mr. O'Reilly. Your move. Daily Hot Guy[Alexander Skarsgard, AKA Eric Northman from True Blood, who I have learned is related to ever other Swedish actor I know, which is FINE, but jarring, and I have to confess I am staring at him and not reading what I write at ALL]Geek Want* THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT:[Found at DVICE]We don't need video games to promote the Transformers franchise. THEY ARE EXTRANEOUS. We need working Transformer cameras. This is what we've been missing. It actually works. And it takes pictures with FILM. See? We don't need Megan Fox and her Pout of Fail. We need.... you're thinking about Megan Fox now, aren't you? WITH the camera? Well, that failed spectacularly. Politics* I want one of these posters:[Found at BestWeekEver]I also like and support the logic that these posters really are celebrating Obama, because the Joker was the best part of the Dark Knight. That's logic I can believe in. No, I will probably NOT stop parodying that slogan any time soon, so stop asking.* [Found at XKCD]Why isn't real life more like this? * According to this site, Sarah and Todd Palin are going to divorce, which is why she resigned, etc. Now, as you all know I love Sarah Palin because I think she is crazy, but I also think we're close to entering Britney Spears territory here (where it's not funny because they are having actual problems, and the whole thing becomes sad) and I don't want that, because Sarah Palin is an endless source of entertainment, and I still hold out hope she will run for office with Blago as her running mate. But I will say that I will not believe that she's getting a divorce until she says so. Read the article. It's not... coherent, is it? OK, it is. But it's not good. And I have immediate and serious doubts over any website that needs to remind you that it's consistently right. (Except mine, because if you need to find out if a character is going to die in a movie/TV series, find out if I like them!) But this smacks of serious bullshit. Now, I am not generous, or unbiased by any stretch of the imagination. But I am not going to fall on either side of this. If Sarah Palin confirms she's getting a divorce, she has my condolences. If she isn't, I hope she has another press conference in front of animals getting chopped up. Until then, life can continue as normal.Awesome* Reader Julie, who is herself completely awesome and a regular contributor to FEAR AND LOATHING, showed me that religion can be amazing. The Bible is Badass, as you can read here. They could have replaced most of the dialogue from 300 with REAL Bible verses. Except this one:[Found at Cracked]Yeah, that would have taken the movie into a wholly different direction. A sinister direction. A horse sex direction. And since Zack Snyder would have insisted on filming it in slow motion, maybe I should give up on trying to make the Bible awesome. Especially since I'm unaffiliated, religiously. That tends to piss everyone off.WTF, INTERNET?* This is getting out of hand:[Found at Geekologie]Look, I like bacon. I eat it daily. This blog fully endorses bacon and the many fried wonders it has to offer. But we need to calm down. It is slices of fried meat that has been cured. There is NO NEED for customized bacon shoes. I... I don't know how else to express this to you. We have bacon dresses and shoes and lube and vodka. WHY are there no products that are mayonnaise-based? Huh? I love mayo. I put it ON bacon, and also chocolate, sometimes, which grosses everyone out. But do I get mayonnaise shoes?.... Yes, there are white shoes, but the point.... THE POINT... fine. FINE. Forget it. Go eat your bacon, you heathens. I've got to order about twenty pairs of these for every vegan I know.Movie!Win* I can't decide if I desperately want David Tennant to play Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, or if I want anyone else on the planet to play Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit. For what it's worth, I agree with the article that James McAvoy would be the best, and most likely, option. But no one listens to me, otherwise Will Smith would not be doing remake of Oldboy. Whoever gets cast, as long as Hugo Weaving shows up as the High Elf of Sex, I'm fine. WHAT? Elves need love too.Russell Brand* Oh dear God. Russell Brand is wearing a cowboy hat, P. Diddy is dressed like Gilligan, and I am way too charmed by this to have any respect for my morals. Look how excited they are! And why am I not invited to Diddy's White Party? I'm... um... important.... to some people.... I just remembered. Isn't Russell Brand adorable? Look how I've changed the subject!Jackie Earle Haley* Here's an interview with Mr. Haley about A Nightmare On Elm Street, including something we talked about in the podcast. Dude has weird dreams about giant bugs. I have a recurring dream about the zombie apocalypse. And this one about a man with bloody stumps for fingers who sits in the corner of my room pointing at me and grinning. Yeah, I can haz issuez. Anyway, if I can't find the damn trailer for A Nightmare on Elm Street ANYWHERE online, at least I can hope for a media blitz of Mr. Haley:[Found at StarPulse]Also I'd like those glasses. They're adorable. * I've seen this clip before. Like a lot. But it's a scene from Human Target and has both Jackie Earle Haley WITH A MUSTACHE and Chi MacBride, who was GENIUS as Emerson Cod in Pushing Daisies, and I already love this show so much that they really don't have to bother MAKING it, because it's already earned a permanent place in my weird little heart.* People are listening to World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley. Important people. Beautiful people. Wise people. Don't you want to be categorized as such? Go listen. Every episode gets better, so in about two months the podcast will ALMOST be on par with Mr. Haley. I said almost. I'm realistic.Going to read FREAKANGELS now (spoilers below my signature), and probably sulk over the fact that I am not allowed to buy small mammals to name after fictional characters and make sure they are not exploded by blue slow-talking JERKS, or poisoned by aliens too stupid to have real names. And I need to make T-shirts (JEH-themed and Stoltz-themed, naturally). Also I think I need to redye my hair. Nothing red can stay.- LVSPOILERS FOR THIS WEEK'S FREAKANGELS:* There is some SHIT going on between Karl and Arkady, which means he's going to die, because the characters I love DIE. There will be a LONG BLOG ON THIS, soon. When I have enough alcohol to cushion the system, because it's SAD. Anyway, good entry, almost no dialogue, nobody wants to kill Luke, so maybe Conner can just shoot him in the dick once a week, for laughs?
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