Blog* At least it's only one. Title is from Home Movies.Animals* LOOK AT THE TINY LITTLE MONKEY:[Found at UniqueDaily]What most people don't know is that teeny tiny monkeys grow up to be zombie monkeys in fedoras, like this:[Made by DanFaust]See? This blog is like a walking infomercial. You learn so much from me. Such as, I want a pet monkey. Now. Or a hamster. Some small mammal I can name Ianto and feed coffee beans to. Daily Hot Guy[Taye Diggs, who is pretty mainstream for this blog, but he's incredibly pretty, and he was so great in
, and he can sing, and I love the fact that he's married to Idina Menzel, because she's bad-ass, and sometimes it's enough that a guy is babeish, yeah?]Apocalypse How?* This has nothing to do with the apocalypse, except that tall people earn more than short people, so I'm buying STILTS today, and marrying someone over six feet tall, so my offspring have a chance in HELL at being normal-sized. Then again, if I name them Walter, Hunter, Ianto, Allen, (and sometimes Roman, just because I like that name) I don't think any height will help at all.Girly Shit* Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are trying to ruin shoes for me. I don't know why, except for maybe that time I saw them at a video store and made fun of their taste in movies, but really, isn't making shoes that look like this a bit of an overreaction?[Found at ShoeMinx]Those are UGLY. And they are $300, which I don't even HAVE, and if I did I would buy pretty shoes, and a dress, and makeup, not moccasins from HELL. Don't you girls have enough money? Or if you just like designing, could you maybe design something not made of ick? Maybe? I mean, some of your shoes are awesome. I love these:[Found at ShoeMinx]See? Those are nice. I love those. I would buy them and wear them and pretend that they're Louboutin shoes, because I can't afford those. Now I'm all sad. Congratulations, Team Olsen. Your plan is working wonderfully.Music* This video from Funny Or Die, about how the Beatles were a terrifying nightmare wrought on an unsuspecting public, made coffee come out my nose:
, and he can sing, and I love the fact that he's married to Idina Menzel, because she's bad-ass, and sometimes it's enough that a guy is babeish, yeah?]Apocalypse How?* This has nothing to do with the apocalypse, except that tall people earn more than short people, so I'm buying STILTS today, and marrying someone over six feet tall, so my offspring have a chance in HELL at being normal-sized. Then again, if I name them Walter, Hunter, Ianto, Allen, (and sometimes Roman, just because I like that name) I don't think any height will help at all.Girly Shit* Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are trying to ruin shoes for me. I don't know why, except for maybe that time I saw them at a video store and made fun of their taste in movies, but really, isn't making shoes that look like this a bit of an overreaction?[Found at ShoeMinx]Those are UGLY. And they are $300, which I don't even HAVE, and if I did I would buy pretty shoes, and a dress, and makeup, not moccasins from HELL. Don't you girls have enough money? Or if you just like designing, could you maybe design something not made of ick? Maybe? I mean, some of your shoes are awesome. I love these:[Found at ShoeMinx]See? Those are nice. I love those. I would buy them and wear them and pretend that they're Louboutin shoes, because I can't afford those. Now I'm all sad. Congratulations, Team Olsen. Your plan is working wonderfully.Music* This video from Funny Or Die, about how the Beatles were a terrifying nightmare wrought on an unsuspecting public, made coffee come out my nose:
The Beatles Were Terrifying w/Fred Willard from Fred Willard
It hurts. But Fred Willard is a genius, so I'll wipe up the mess and let it go. This time.Technology* I didn't read the article on this, because me and my friend Esse watched Alien on TV late one night last week, so when I saw it:[Found at TheWorldsBestEver]I naturally envisioned wearing it around the house at night, pretending to be on a strange and distant planet, and trying to convince my little brother that something is going to burst out of his chest. He falls for it every time. Plus I think this would look cute with my red hair. Plus if certain fictional characters had owned these, they wouldn't have died horribly. I'm just saying. Moving on. Watchmen* Click this link to see the scene in the movie that wasn't in the theatrical, and should have been, even though it's sad. Do I still have to be spoiler-sensitive to Watchmen? Because the movie came out in MARCH, and the comic's been out for well over two decades. Fuck it. This is the scene where Hollis Mason dies, and I think it's better than Alan Moore's original version (DON'T SEND YOUR SNAKE GOD TO KILL ME) because it shows such love for the character, such reverence for what he was, and I really wish it had been in the theatrical release, because as upsetting as it is, it's beautifully rendered.* But don't be sad by that last link, because it's all OK: Hollis is alive. The Doctor from Doctor Who saved him, and sent him back in time to live in 300:[Posted by Caro]I told you Caro had super-powers. And you should read this LiveJournal entry, because I am going to go scream at trees as soon as I post this, and unless you click that link, you won't know what the hell I'm talking about.* If you go to World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley (and if you aren't here, why aren't you there? Really, explain yourself. I am so disappointed in you.) Caro has provided idiot-proof tips on putting the podcast on your iTunes. And by idiot-proof, I mean it only took me two tries to get it on my iTunes, which is a new record. The podcast is amazing. Link to it. Tell your friends. And your enemies. It will bring you all closer together. Try it.Tattoo Of Win* This tattoo is either terribly offensive or absolutely, insanely funny:[Found at LOLTatz]It may be both. I try not to think about it too much.Food* This is a Cookie Cake Pie:[Found at CakeSpy]No, listen: It's a pie crust, with cookie dough in the middle, and cake on top.I am sitting here now trying to figure out a way to add a layer of key lime somewhere. Or molasses! Or raspberry jam. I need to stop now.Words of Win[Found at PassiveAggressiveNotes]Books* As a sort-of writer (in the sense that I blog every day, and write a lot, but don't get paid much for it. Or anything for the blog) I know I should have solidarity with my far more successful brothers and sisters. But when Cory Doctorow is saying that the Amazon Kindle contract sucks for writers, all I can think is, 'Well, shit, that sounds fine to me! Complete creative control over every thought I may or may not have for the next decade? Spiffy!" I am willing to compromise. I figure I'll have pride in my work with the next book. But times are tough, and anyway, I still have a sneaking suspicion that Kindles don't really exist. At least, I've never seen one in person. I like my books made out of paper, because I hate trees. I saw The Happening, man. I KNOW THE TRUTH. Why do I keep mentioning that awful, awful movie?Harry Potter* I know I say weird stuff on here from time to time, and that I am a hopeless fangirl in a lot of ways. That's fine. (Incidentally, I was cool as ICE when I met Neil Gaiman and Mike Mignola, so I prove conclusively that I can tell the difference between being silly on my blog and being TERRIFYING in person, so win for me.) However, even at my weirdest of weirds, I have never looked at any actor - Hugh Laurie, for instance - and thought, 'Wow, I would love to touch his eyelashes.'Excited Japanese Fangirl, I bow before your Fangirl Crazy. There's another video of her geeking on Daniel Radcliffe:But she SMELLED Rupert Grint. That is just rude. Incidentally, they are so incredibly nice to her that it gives me faith in humanity, because she is so excited to meet them, and they don't crush her heart beneath their feet. So Kindness!Win.Star Trek* Hi, J.J. Abrams. I am not a fangirl of yours overall, because Lost confuses me and Charlie got STRUNG THE HELL UP, and that ruined my day/week, even though he survived, because GOD DAMN. But I loved Star Trek so much, and it made me very happy, and I look forward to the many sequels that will inevitably get worse, and I will insist they are good until you kill off Spock, because that is what happens in my universe, and then all will be darkness, etc.BUT, I am sorry to say, you, like Zack Snyder, have been taken hostage by the Blu-Ray demons. There were a LOT of commas in that last sentence. Anyway, WHAT THE HELL? Why, I ask, do the Blu-Ray people get a three-disc version, and I am stuck with a paltry two-disc? Huh? WHY? Because I can't afford it. I just can't. If I can't afford to buy a Blu-Ray for Watchmen, you think I can afford one for you, Mr. Abrams (and don't tell me I could use the same player for both DVDs. I KNOW this.) This isn't fair. Blu-Ray people already HAVE Blu-Ray. They are clearly superior beings. But don't they already win, because of their high-quality sound and graphics? Do they NEED extra features? AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT HALF THESE FEATURES MEAN. WHAT THE HELL IS 'BIG BROTHER QUINTO'? You need to explain these things to me. A Blu-Ray player is $500 on Amazon. I am going to cry bitter tears of broke-ness. I hope you're happy, Mr. Abrams.Doctor Who* After I was hysterical and embarrassing in the wake of Torchwood: Children of the Earth (and, really, WHO WASN'T? Bad people, that's who), GeohMetro sent me this image to soothe my damaged heart:[From OnceUponAGeek]There is nothing at all that could improve this picture, except for Ianto Jones standing in the background with a tray of coffee. But then I wouldn't ever leave the computer, and that would be bad for a number of reasons, none of which come to mind at the moment.Comics* I need to get to the United Kingdom. NOW. Well, actually, in October. For The Hub. Because it will have Gareth David-Lloyd and James Marsters, and maybe I can get the two of them to sing a duet of 'A Man's Gotta Do' from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. I don't need to explain myself to you. But I won't get to go, because I NEVER get to go to Conventions. I am sad now. Russell T. Davies is plotting against me too. Must be in league with the Olsen twins. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.People I Love* When I grow up, I want to be just like Grace Jones:[Found at BestWeekEver]Can you imagine if she went on tour with Lady Gaga? THE WARDROBE? Oh my god, that would be fashion glory. I would sell everything I love to see that. Incidentally, did you know that you can't buy Grace Jones' hat? Not that I looked, on Google, for quite some time. Um. Well, I'm going to go now. And sell things. So I can move to England, or Wales, or WHEREVER all the cool people are hiding. Or just to a convention. Or a concert. Or so I can buy a damn Blu-Ray player. Also I need $8,000 shoes. This is the problem with being a girl geek. You want expensive hair conditioner AND a copy of Warren Ellis' Frankenstein comic AND tickets to Dragon*Con, and you still have to pay car insurance. LIFE IS HARD.You don't need both kidneys, do you? - LV
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