Friday, August 28, 2009

What'd Y'all Order A Dead Guy For?

Blog
* Well, Jayne, actually... you know what? Go sit in the corner and talk to Vera. Bring your hat. Title is from Firefly, which I suddenly and desperately miss.

Freakangels Friday
* FINALLY, Mr. Ellis. I waited and waited for TWO WHOLE WEEKS, during which I decided to do an Epic Reread of Transmetropolitan, for which I need no reasons. Because I love Spider Jerusalem, and you, and Hunter S. Thompson, and a future in which you eat monkey burgers. But I digress. You gave me FREAKANGELS, and life has a purpose and a meaning, and we shall rejoice, and this whole AWFUL week is vindicated by your pen. Or computer. I don't know how you write, actually. Bad fangirl. I will read after I post, so spoilers/review under my signature.


Incidentally, can we all agree that August sucks? Even if you don't believe this, can you just humor me, and PRETEND to agree? I'd appreciate it.

Comics
* Due to this week, which is determined to ruin my sunny and perky disposition (stop laughing) I did not go to the comic store, so I did not pick up the comic of 28 Days Later..., which is a totally awesome zombie movie with Christopher Eccleston as a creepy army dude. Even if it IS about Selena, not that I disliked Selena. At all. She just fails to be Christopher Eccleston. It's a burden we all have to deal with. Anyone read this? Because zombie survival is important to all of us.

Books
* I want to read this:

[Found at BoingBoing]
In part because it sounds awesome, in part because I tried to write a crime/horror novel and it just collapsed under the weight of its own pretensions, so I'd like to see someone succeed at genre-mixing, and in part because Cory Doctorow liked it, and he is an Internet Guru, and you just don't question Gurus of the Internet.

Star Trek

[Found by Puig]
You can lie to me, your friends, your family, and yourself, but if Patrick Stewart said, 'Now,' you'd say, 'Yes sir.' There is no one who wouldn't hit that. It's beyond sexual attraction. It is simply the way the world works.

Torchwood
* BULLSHIT. Prepare for a rant, and if you don't watch Torchwood, maybe skip over this, because I am ANNOYED. Ready?
THEY ARE MAKING SEASON FOUR. WHAT THE FUCK? HOW? REALLY? HOW? I MEAN, EVERYONE IS DEAD. IGNORING MY FAVORITE CHARACTER DYING HORRIBLY AND POINTLESSLY, EVERYONE ELSE IS DEAD, AND ONE CHARACTER IS HAVING A PSYCHOTIC BREAK, AND THE OTHER IS REPRODUCING. AND GWEN SUCKS.
AND THE WOMAN WHO WROTE THIS IS ALL, 'YAY!' AND I AM ALL, WTF? THIS IS NOT HAPPY TIMES, YOU FOOL. DID YOU EVEN WATCH CHILDREN OF THE EARTH? DID YOU?! DO YOU REMEMBER DAY FOUR? CUZ I DO. I REMEMBER, USUALLY AT THREE IN THE MORNING.
AND THEN THE GIRL AT BORDERS WAS ALL, 'I HEARD THEY'RE BRINGING HIM BACK,' AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS SORT OF EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL. UNLESS THIS IS ALL AN ELABORATE GAME TO SCREW WITH ME, AND IANTO SHOWS UP AT MY DOOR WITH COFFEE AND A SUIT AND HIS STOPWATCH, IN WHICH CASE DISREGARD ALL THE YELLING.
Oddly enough, this is me being LESS annoyed about this. Shut up, it's been a bad summer. I need something to take me anger out on.

Daily Hot Guy

[Eugene Hutz, the writer and singer of Gogol Bordello, as requested by reader and awesome-finder Mademoiselle Guignol. This is a man who can rock a 'stache. Just saying. His 'stache feeds on weaker 'staches and soul patches. And Gogol Bordello is made entirely of WIN, and I'm going to listen to them right now.]

Apocalypse How?
* You know how I know we're doomed?

[Found at NYDailyNews]
Even Elmo is mad as hell, and beating up strangers. Plus he's in Times Square, where I always sort of imagine the apocalypse will begin. Have you been there? It is quite unpleasant.

TwiHate
* I said I would be nice to Twihards, but you know what? It's been a shitty morning ALREADY, and it's raining, and I have stuff to do, and have been traumatized MULTIPLE TIMES this week, so screw it, if I want to be a snarky bitch, I WILL be. Reader Liz sent me this, either because she loves me and wants this section to last forever, or because she really hates me and is trying to destroy my will to live:

[Found by Liz]
Can you imagine going away to college for the first time, and your roommate has put this up? I don't want undead dudes to watch me bathe. It's a weird quirk I have. I don't even want Rorschach's face on my shower curtain (although a 'Hurm' shower curtain would be hysterical, and now I want one). Shower time should not involve the plastic, immobile faces of sparkly vampires. There's a law somewhere. Also, ew.

Inglourious Basterds
* First of all, I love Quentin Tarantino. I love him, and his huge forehead, and his lantern chin, and his pretensions and his ego. OK? He was one of my first crushes, because my parents had NO concept of maybe not letting their eight-year-old daughter watch Pulp Fiction, and I still love him. It's in my DNA. In college, this conversation happened because of my crush.
Bee: Elle, this is Dave.
Me: You look like Quentin Tarantino.
Dave: Yeah, I get that a lot. Doesn't help that I'm a film student.
Me: Marry me.
Dave: Haha! We just met.
Bee: She's not kidding.
Me: We can get to town hall in fifteen minutes. Bee can be our witness. Do you want to stop somewhere and get a tux?
Dave: Look, you're cute and all, but-
Me: I'm totally kidding. Let's go get coffee.
Dave: OK!
I wasn't kidding, but Dave was like a cute Quentin, and I was willing to compromise. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, Quentin Tarantino. Here is an article written by a guy who apparently looks an awful lot like Quentin. Someone needs to explain my attraction to men with big foreheads. Because really, it mystifies me. Also, Mr. Tarantino, please don't wear this in public again:

[Found at BestWeekEver]
Because I get enough shit for my love for you. And you kind of look like a clown. A crazy, sexy clown.

People I Love
* Dear Man Who Rollerskated Down A RollerCoaster:
You are made entirely of win.

Love, LV

Stuff To Live
* I need this because I don't have a clock in my room, and I never know what time it is:

[Found at LikeCool]
Plus, this is the sort of thing they'd have in Transmetropolitan. In my mind.

Movie!Fail
* DIstrict 9 did NOT steal Avatar's thunder. District 9 was amazing, and the trailer for Avator sucked, and was kind of funny, in a bad way. The way I found Alone In The Dark funny, although that also was sort of depressing, ultimately, because you can see the moment Tara Reid decides that Taradise would be less painful than continuing to make movies like this.
Not that I think Uwe Boll is on the same level of skill as James Cameron. Let's not joke. I'm just saying that Avatar has no one to blame for its faults but itself (can a movie blame? Where's Philip K. Dick when you need him?) and if District 9 looked even more amazing in comparison, well, them's the breaks, isn't it?

Jackie Earle Haley
* This is a Jackie Earle Haley dress:

[Found at Flickr]
It was made by MissDandy, and DAMN IT ALL, who HAS these ideas? My totes/T-shirts are shamed. SHAMED BEYOND WORDS. In conclusion, sometimes Google Images shows me amazing stuff, instead of random porn images.

* I assume you've all gone to World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley, and watched the video above this entry, and are ENRAGED over the pushing back of Shutter Island, because otherwise, you don't want world peace, or Shutter Island, and that is just SICK.

OK, I have things to do, including driving people places, and writing, and making T-Shirts, and continuing LV's August Of Suck 2009, and TV to watch, and people to hang out with, and maybe comics to purchase, or weapons, for PROTECTION, so I'm going to read FREAKANGELS now. Spoilers below my signature.
- LV

SPOILERS FOR THIS WEEKS FREAKANGELS:
OOOH, next week is going to be DRAMATIC. Karl got mentioned, but did not appear, so he lives, so yay me. And Karl. And Kait is fucking NUTS. And Mark is out there, being brain-dead and crazy as shit. So unless next week is another skip week, I predict SHIT WILL GO DOWN. YAY, WARREN ELLIS!

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