Blog* Enjoy the title of this entry, my friends, because it is the last time you will see an Alan Moore title. I ran out. So instead, we will be using quotes from movies/TV shows/books. So I bid you farewell, Mr. Moore. Thank you for not killing me for taking your name in vain.Technology* I love the idea that a little kid (OK, a teenager, but compared to an old crone like me at 23, he's a BABY) cracked a 300-year old math problem, and is totally like Matt Damon in
, only younger and in Sweden, and without the added benefit of being Matt Damon. But I wish I could have sat in on the phone call to the experts when they learned that a kid who can't properly SHAVE solved a problem they never had a chance of figuring out in their entire, miserable lives. I imagine it went like this: 'Hey, Bob? Remember that grant to work on that math problem? Yeah, we're fucked.'Politics* Did you know that every time you make fun of Dick Cheney, you're making fun of Jesus? Also Rush Limbaugh. THESE are the saints of our time, people. Although Jesus wasn't a saint, but I don't think I can even make jokes about Cheney and Limbaugh being the sons of God, because COME THE HELL ON, MAN. BUT BUT BUT if Dick Cheney is for gay marriage, doesn't that mean Jesus is for gay marriage, and it should be legalized? But Limbaugh is against gay marriage, and for eating puppies, so can we only eat gay puppies? This is why you should have only ONE Jesus proxy. Otherwise, shit gets confusing.Doctor Who* More proof that David Tennant's Doctor will not be leaving us just yet. He's going to have a full-on role in the Sarah Jane Adventures. I am happy about this, but still verging on demented because he shouldn't be leaving. Legally. Morally. Ethically. He just should not be allowed to leave
, until I say so. Which would be never. Ditto Russell T. Davies. I've said it before, and I've said it again: loving Doctor Who is subjecting yourself to eternal pain, torment, and loss.Watchmen* Continuing my obsessions with A) Watchmen, and B) the Watchmen DVD, here is something that ONLY mentions the Blu-Ray getting the End is Nigh game, thus proving my paranoia is JUSTIFIED. HA. I obviously am ignoring the bits about the game being nothing but a shit sandwich, because clearly that's Communist propaganda. LIES.WTF, INTERNET?* This is a product that proudly screams, "I hate my child, resent its birth and even its conception, and would like you to pound it into hamburger meat for being such a drain on my time and resources":[Found at DVICE]Or it says, 'I love Star Wars more than I love my child or my child's safety, and I have NO CONCEPT of how socially damaging this backpack will be. I want my child to be an eternal virgin, sitting crying (naked) in my basement in his forties, hugging his only friend, his R2D2 back-pack. Which I will then sell on eBay for a tidy sum, because collectibles bring in MONEY."Zombies* I would love this thing. Should zombies attack New York, I would not want to be inside a large building without it.[Found at DVICE]The problem would be when I would use this thing constantly. Constantly. I would rappel out of my workplace to avoid unwelcome memos. I would rappel out of bars to get away from creepy guys. Don't want to stand in line at the movies? Rappel. So by the time the zombie apocalypse comes along, my Rescue Reel would have about 150,000 miles on it, and fall the fuck apart at a crucial moment, plunging me to my humiliating and all-too-expected death, the end.Daily Hot Guy[Russell Brand, AKA Aldous Snow, AKA That Man Who Made The Jonas Brothers Cry, AKA What's The Deal With His Hair?, AKA Shagger Of The Year, undressing you with his eyes]I lied. We get a bonus Hot Guy today, because. Happy Birthday, Zachary Quinto! You are sexy and talented and make me retarded with lust. Well done.Animals* I can haz a hotdog:[Found at TheWorldsBestEver]But why is it judging me with its sad, puppy eyes?Music* As I've said before, if you follow me on Twitter you already know I have converted to Team Gaga (although I am a member of the small splinter group, Team Gaga We Love Your Music & Think You Are Badass Now Put On Some Pants Or A Skirt Or Something, OK? We're working on the name.) And I want her hair. With that hair, I could get Zachary Quinto or Russell Brand (or BOTH). Anyway, this is the song/video that turned me (although Paparazzi is a fucking incredible video, I like this song better). I want to live in this video. And the song is lodged in my brain.Also I'd like her lipstick and her money. With it I would buy those gloves, but skirts and pants too. SEE? I STILL HAVE MY MORALS, DAMN IT.More later, I promise. Going to be late for work. - LV
, only younger and in Sweden, and without the added benefit of being Matt Damon. But I wish I could have sat in on the phone call to the experts when they learned that a kid who can't properly SHAVE solved a problem they never had a chance of figuring out in their entire, miserable lives. I imagine it went like this: 'Hey, Bob? Remember that grant to work on that math problem? Yeah, we're fucked.'Politics* Did you know that every time you make fun of Dick Cheney, you're making fun of Jesus? Also Rush Limbaugh. THESE are the saints of our time, people. Although Jesus wasn't a saint, but I don't think I can even make jokes about Cheney and Limbaugh being the sons of God, because COME THE HELL ON, MAN. BUT BUT BUT if Dick Cheney is for gay marriage, doesn't that mean Jesus is for gay marriage, and it should be legalized? But Limbaugh is against gay marriage, and for eating puppies, so can we only eat gay puppies? This is why you should have only ONE Jesus proxy. Otherwise, shit gets confusing.Doctor Who* More proof that David Tennant's Doctor will not be leaving us just yet. He's going to have a full-on role in the Sarah Jane Adventures. I am happy about this, but still verging on demented because he shouldn't be leaving. Legally. Morally. Ethically. He just should not be allowed to leave
, until I say so. Which would be never. Ditto Russell T. Davies. I've said it before, and I've said it again: loving Doctor Who is subjecting yourself to eternal pain, torment, and loss.Watchmen* Continuing my obsessions with A) Watchmen, and B) the Watchmen DVD, here is something that ONLY mentions the Blu-Ray getting the End is Nigh game, thus proving my paranoia is JUSTIFIED. HA. I obviously am ignoring the bits about the game being nothing but a shit sandwich, because clearly that's Communist propaganda. LIES.WTF, INTERNET?* This is a product that proudly screams, "I hate my child, resent its birth and even its conception, and would like you to pound it into hamburger meat for being such a drain on my time and resources":[Found at DVICE]Or it says, 'I love Star Wars more than I love my child or my child's safety, and I have NO CONCEPT of how socially damaging this backpack will be. I want my child to be an eternal virgin, sitting crying (naked) in my basement in his forties, hugging his only friend, his R2D2 back-pack. Which I will then sell on eBay for a tidy sum, because collectibles bring in MONEY."Zombies* I would love this thing. Should zombies attack New York, I would not want to be inside a large building without it.[Found at DVICE]The problem would be when I would use this thing constantly. Constantly. I would rappel out of my workplace to avoid unwelcome memos. I would rappel out of bars to get away from creepy guys. Don't want to stand in line at the movies? Rappel. So by the time the zombie apocalypse comes along, my Rescue Reel would have about 150,000 miles on it, and fall the fuck apart at a crucial moment, plunging me to my humiliating and all-too-expected death, the end.Daily Hot Guy[Russell Brand, AKA Aldous Snow, AKA That Man Who Made The Jonas Brothers Cry, AKA What's The Deal With His Hair?, AKA Shagger Of The Year, undressing you with his eyes]I lied. We get a bonus Hot Guy today, because. Happy Birthday, Zachary Quinto! You are sexy and talented and make me retarded with lust. Well done.Animals* I can haz a hotdog:[Found at TheWorldsBestEver]But why is it judging me with its sad, puppy eyes?Music* As I've said before, if you follow me on Twitter you already know I have converted to Team Gaga (although I am a member of the small splinter group, Team Gaga We Love Your Music & Think You Are Badass Now Put On Some Pants Or A Skirt Or Something, OK? We're working on the name.) And I want her hair. With that hair, I could get Zachary Quinto or Russell Brand (or BOTH). Anyway, this is the song/video that turned me (although Paparazzi is a fucking incredible video, I like this song better). I want to live in this video. And the song is lodged in my brain.Also I'd like her lipstick and her money. With it I would buy those gloves, but skirts and pants too. SEE? I STILL HAVE MY MORALS, DAMN IT.More later, I promise. Going to be late for work. - LV
0 comments:
Post a Comment