Blog* Today's title comes from Arrested Development, which WILL BE A MOVIE, BY GRABTHAR'S HAMMER, BY THE SUNS OF WARVAN.Depression Session* This dude made a guitar out of a chopping block:[Found at CrunchGear]I sincerely long for the day that Metallica tries to rock out on these babies. Soon even famous musicians will only be able to afford Chopping Block Guitars, and Fenders will be looked on as the Holy Grail, a glorious thing made almost obscene by how many we lost. Images of the Who smashing theirs will cause grown men to weep.YouTube Wonders - New Category!* This whole category was inspired by reader/finder of awesome Julie.This made laugh, a lot, at work. If I get fired for this, she has to pay all my bills, forever. It's in the Bible. Also, if Sham-Wow guy wasn't doomed to be an eternal joke before the hooker-biting incident, he is now.Girly Shit* Success in our time! Flip-flops, the shoes I hate and loathe more than I should considering they are something you wear on your feet and nothing else, are bad for you. HAHAHAHAHAHA. You all called me crazy for insisting on wearing boots and sandals and sneakers in summer. Crazy, am I? Well, I may be crazy, but MY feet and ankles won't be beacons of pain this summer, and I will outrun you all in my Converse sneakers and Steve Madden sandals. I WIN.Tattoo Of Win[Found at LOLTATZ]Food* This is bacon soap. It is scented like nothing:[Found at LikeCool]One day soon, everything in our lives will be made of bacon. Comics* This is absolute and complete bullshit. This guy who collected manga could serve 15 years in jail for child pornography. Because manga has some graphic, twisted shit in it. As do many comics/books/movies/TV shows. There was no actual pornography found at the guy's apartment. It's not as if he had a sekrit undahground collection of naked little kid pictures. Then he would deserve prison. But manga? That's bullshit. Imagine what would happen to you if someone looked through any of your collections. Hell, some of the things in
are weird and obscene. Should I get arrested for having rented a copy of The Woodsman? Or
? Can I be convicted of murder because I own the Sin City series? Or prostitution? This undermines everyone's rights. This is fucked up. And the fact that he pled guilty, probably for a bargain, makes things even worse. What sort of precedent does this set for the rest of us? Answer: A bad one.Moment of Winsee more Fail BlogMovies* I like Michael Moore movies. Even if he has his own interpretation of reality - and really, who doesn't - his films are invariably watchable compelling, and create a dialogue. You know his stance from the beginning, so it's not brain-washing unless you've been living under a rock. Even if I disagree with what he says sometimes, or question his methods, he's a bright man with something to say. So yes, I will be seeing his new movie. It sounds like a long episode of Depression Session. I wonder if I can get some sort of marketing tie-in...Stupid People* A man robbed a 7-11 with a sword. DUDE. Texas ROCKS. Books* Guillermo Del Toro, the mastermind behind Pan's Labyrinth and the Hellboy movies, is writing vampire books. Vampire books that are supposed to be good, and wherein the vampires do not sparkle. Not even a little. Not even when they are covered in glitter. Go buy them NOW. Because I can't. I am broke. Click the link to watch a video trailer for the book, which is in and of itself a wicked cool concept.Star Trek* If Star Trek is a religion, then I am totally no longer an atheist. I don't strictly buy this, for a lot of reasons that are outlined in the article, but also because my true religion would be a more complete (mind?) melding of Star Trek, Watchmen, & Doctor Who. Can someone make that a religion? I need guidance in my life. Also, my religion would have sugar cubes, phasers, and sonic screwdrivers. Can we work in Firefly too? I'm NOT BEING SARCASTIC. STOP LAUGHING. You are all sinners in my eyes.Remake!Fail* Dear Jonah Hill: You are a funny guy. I am not arguing that. You made me laugh in both Superbad and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, although in the latter I was honestly more focused on Russell Brand without a shirt than anything else. I wish you a long and happy career. But you need to understand something. You are not allowed to remake 21 Jump Street. Maybe you didn't watch it as a kid, as I did, with my older cousin who should have known better since I was a wide-eyed innocent lass who was not ready for the badassery of Johnny Depp, or to learn about drugs and gangs. Maybe you did watch it as a kid, but you didn't get it. It is a time capsule. It is perfect in its flaws and remarkable in all ways. It was a stupid, funny, sometimes insightful show with bad hair and worse outfits, and I loved it. There is NO WAY you could recreate this without taking away all the things that made the show so well-loved. Of course, if Johnny Depp and the original cast want to reprise their roles, I don't think I'd have the heart to complain. But YOU want to play Johnny Depp's role, and I don't have enough bandwith to explain all the FAIL in that idea. Don't make me hurt you. Love, LVIt was pouring rain - pouring - five minutes ago. Now it is sunny. And now I am off to study things that no girl should have to study. Wish me luck.- LV
are weird and obscene. Should I get arrested for having rented a copy of The Woodsman? Or
? Can I be convicted of murder because I own the Sin City series? Or prostitution? This undermines everyone's rights. This is fucked up. And the fact that he pled guilty, probably for a bargain, makes things even worse. What sort of precedent does this set for the rest of us? Answer: A bad one.Moment of Winsee more Fail BlogMovies* I like Michael Moore movies. Even if he has his own interpretation of reality - and really, who doesn't - his films are invariably watchable compelling, and create a dialogue. You know his stance from the beginning, so it's not brain-washing unless you've been living under a rock. Even if I disagree with what he says sometimes, or question his methods, he's a bright man with something to say. So yes, I will be seeing his new movie. It sounds like a long episode of Depression Session. I wonder if I can get some sort of marketing tie-in...Stupid People* A man robbed a 7-11 with a sword. DUDE. Texas ROCKS. Books* Guillermo Del Toro, the mastermind behind Pan's Labyrinth and the Hellboy movies, is writing vampire books. Vampire books that are supposed to be good, and wherein the vampires do not sparkle. Not even a little. Not even when they are covered in glitter. Go buy them NOW. Because I can't. I am broke. Click the link to watch a video trailer for the book, which is in and of itself a wicked cool concept.Star Trek* If Star Trek is a religion, then I am totally no longer an atheist. I don't strictly buy this, for a lot of reasons that are outlined in the article, but also because my true religion would be a more complete (mind?) melding of Star Trek, Watchmen, & Doctor Who. Can someone make that a religion? I need guidance in my life. Also, my religion would have sugar cubes, phasers, and sonic screwdrivers. Can we work in Firefly too? I'm NOT BEING SARCASTIC. STOP LAUGHING. You are all sinners in my eyes.Remake!Fail* Dear Jonah Hill: You are a funny guy. I am not arguing that. You made me laugh in both Superbad and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, although in the latter I was honestly more focused on Russell Brand without a shirt than anything else. I wish you a long and happy career. But you need to understand something. You are not allowed to remake 21 Jump Street. Maybe you didn't watch it as a kid, as I did, with my older cousin who should have known better since I was a wide-eyed innocent lass who was not ready for the badassery of Johnny Depp, or to learn about drugs and gangs. Maybe you did watch it as a kid, but you didn't get it. It is a time capsule. It is perfect in its flaws and remarkable in all ways. It was a stupid, funny, sometimes insightful show with bad hair and worse outfits, and I loved it. There is NO WAY you could recreate this without taking away all the things that made the show so well-loved. Of course, if Johnny Depp and the original cast want to reprise their roles, I don't think I'd have the heart to complain. But YOU want to play Johnny Depp's role, and I don't have enough bandwith to explain all the FAIL in that idea. Don't make me hurt you. Love, LVIt was pouring rain - pouring - five minutes ago. Now it is sunny. And now I am off to study things that no girl should have to study. Wish me luck.- LV
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