Blog* Well, you know what, River? MY food is DELICIOUS. Title is from Firefly. Please don't hurt me, River.* This may seem like shameless self-promotion, but I find this too flattering NOT to mention. Mary K, a reader and amazing blogger in her own right (her book reviews are essential, and fabulous reading) nominated my blog for an award. Because my screaming about zombies and shoes and
seems to appeal to some people. Weirdos. Thank you so much, and I will aspire to keep this blog entertaining, if nothing else. Apocalypse How?* I often say I want to move to England. Not just because I find the accents wicked sexy, or they invented Doctor Who, or High Wizard Alan Moore lives out there, or I could find Russell Brand andtackle him and love him politely greet him, or because I actually LIKE the food and the music and the weather. Those are all good and solid reasons, but here is an additional impetus: They have a plan for surviving a nuclear attack. Hopefully not just reading V For Vendetta and praying that Hugo Weaving will don the mask and let his sexy voice lead us all to freedom. That tears it. I'm going to England, just as soon as someone finds a way to get me there that doesn't involve an airplane. WTF, INTERNET?* It's things like this that make me sort of hate surfers, no matter how nice/sexy they are:[Found at LikeCool]This is a wetsuit with shark bites already in place, to make you look cool, I guess. I don't know. To be honest, the guy looks rather toolish and smug with his fancy wetsuit. And what happens when he gets bitten by an ACTUAL shark? 'Hey, I think Shane is in serious trouble. There's a hunk of his leg missing and he's having trouble swimming. 'Ah, he's just messing around. It's part of his wetsuit.' 'Oh. Sure does look realistic. Who wants another Coronoa?' And then Shane is all DEAD, isn't he?Zombies* LEGO ZOMBIES FTW. DRAWINGS OF LEGO ZOMBIES:[Found at BoingBoing]That's all.Nature* Someone stole a dinosaur head. Don't ask me, I didn't do it. I DIDN'T. I was studying for the LSATs at the time, and I SEE you admiring my new hat-rack that's shaped like the skull of a large animal, I GOT IT AT URBAN OUTFITTERS. No, you can't borrow it.Movies* Johnny Depp has a private island, with a beach named in honor of my late imaginary husband, Hunter S. Thompson. This has little to do with movies, except that Johnny Depp is IN movies quite often, and in the internal movie of my mind Johnny Depp takes me to his private island, and I am best friends with everyone cool, and I marry Russell Brand, because even in my internal movie I am MORAL, dammit, and would not get involved with a man in a committed relationship, unless I could maybe find a really good excuse.* ALSO I forgot to add this to my
review: DOESN'T THE WHOLE, 'HE HAS INFORMATION IN HIS BRAIN THAT AN ALIEN RACE DESIRES' PLOTLINE REMIND YOU OF HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY, ONLY GONE HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY WRONG?Ad!Fail* So, Burger King ad execs got up one morning, rubbed the sleep from their eyes, looked out the window and said, 'You know what? Subtlety is for assholes':[Found at Gawker]Although I don't really understand why this would make anyone want to EAT this thing. I mean, unless eating it makes girls suddenly lose their composure with lust, but even then wouldn't they be more interested in the sandwich than you? And as a member of the fairer sex (we have our moments), let me just say that this does not make me want to buy this sandwich. Size does matter, boys, but when that's all you've got to offer, the appeal fades fairly quickly.Doctor Who* Doctor Who Documentary. What else do you need to know?Depression Session* The recession will change fashion. That goes under 'effing duh.' Because when you lose your job and have to move home with your parents, and end up getting a part-time job at McDonald's, you aren't in the ideal mindframe to spend $8,000 on a handbag. No matter HOW pretty it is. But expensive shoes are another story. I need those.Girly Shit* Someone call the hospital. Marc Jacobs has LOST HIS MIND. I wish it weren't so, but I only speak the truth. Brace yourself for the hideous visual explanation:[Found at Fashonologie]This is from his new collection. He is very, very sick. Symptoms include thinking that it's the nineties, and that MC Hammer pants are appealing to ANYONE, including MC Hammer himself, the compulsion to wear big floppy bows around your neck, only dressing in puke colors, and wearing painful green shoes. May be airborne, and highly contagious. Cure involves looking at old Versace ads and breathing deeply into a Louis Vuitton bag. Proceed with caution.Music* As if ANYONE needed any more reasons to hate U2, here's them talking about the Spider-Man Musical:The Edge can live, I guess, if he MUST, but really? Bono makes my eyeballs BLEED BLOOD. To say nothing of my delicate ears. I'm going to play The Damned so as to cleanse my skull.Daily Hot Guy[Hunter Stockton Thompson, shirtless. This blog will celebrate his birthday with debauchery, decadence, and drugs, STAY TUNED]Watchmen* THE DIRECTOR'S CUT WILL BE IN THEATERS. WE NEED TO GO SEE IT. BLOG FIELD TRIP. I AM SERIOUS. WHO IS COMING WITH ME TO NEW YORK? WE ARE GOING. IT WILL BE LIFE-CHANGING. WE CAN SEE IT THE WEEKEND OF JULY 17TH. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPS IN MY LOCK TO EXPRESS MY HYSTERICAL JOY. OH SHIT. WE HAVE A PROBLEM. It's only playing in one theater per city. CURSE YOU ZACK SNYDER. WHY WOULD YOU PLAY WITH MY HEART? OK, the rest of you are uninvited. Survival of the FITTEST. GOD DAMMIT. Also, Snyder only loves people with Blu-Ray, which I do NOT HAVE. Do you know how HARD IT IS to be a fan of this fandom? Twilight fans don't have to put up with this BULLSHIT. Although the star of their movie was hit by a cab in a non-fatal and therefore HILARIOUS episode, so I guess that evens things out, maybe?I need to get tickets. NOW. And the new poster JUST FOR THIS EVENT. Who wants to help me? All joking aside. We will swarm like NINJAS. Or Vigilantes. I will wear my fedora, and my fingerless gloves and my trenchcoat, and it will RULE. WHO'S READY TO GET TICKETS AND RETRIBUTION?!Work now. Oh, and my tooth is cracked or chipped or something and it HURTS and life is CHALLENGING, man.- LV
seems to appeal to some people. Weirdos. Thank you so much, and I will aspire to keep this blog entertaining, if nothing else. Apocalypse How?* I often say I want to move to England. Not just because I find the accents wicked sexy, or they invented Doctor Who, or High Wizard Alan Moore lives out there, or I could find Russell Brand and
review: DOESN'T THE WHOLE, 'HE HAS INFORMATION IN HIS BRAIN THAT AN ALIEN RACE DESIRES' PLOTLINE REMIND YOU OF HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY, ONLY GONE HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY WRONG?Ad!Fail* So, Burger King ad execs got up one morning, rubbed the sleep from their eyes, looked out the window and said, 'You know what? Subtlety is for assholes':[Found at Gawker]Although I don't really understand why this would make anyone want to EAT this thing. I mean, unless eating it makes girls suddenly lose their composure with lust, but even then wouldn't they be more interested in the sandwich than you? And as a member of the fairer sex (we have our moments), let me just say that this does not make me want to buy this sandwich. Size does matter, boys, but when that's all you've got to offer, the appeal fades fairly quickly.Doctor Who* Doctor Who Documentary. What else do you need to know?Depression Session* The recession will change fashion. That goes under 'effing duh.' Because when you lose your job and have to move home with your parents, and end up getting a part-time job at McDonald's, you aren't in the ideal mindframe to spend $8,000 on a handbag. No matter HOW pretty it is. But expensive shoes are another story. I need those.Girly Shit* Someone call the hospital. Marc Jacobs has LOST HIS MIND. I wish it weren't so, but I only speak the truth. Brace yourself for the hideous visual explanation:[Found at Fashonologie]This is from his new collection. He is very, very sick. Symptoms include thinking that it's the nineties, and that MC Hammer pants are appealing to ANYONE, including MC Hammer himself, the compulsion to wear big floppy bows around your neck, only dressing in puke colors, and wearing painful green shoes. May be airborne, and highly contagious. Cure involves looking at old Versace ads and breathing deeply into a Louis Vuitton bag. Proceed with caution.Music* As if ANYONE needed any more reasons to hate U2, here's them talking about the Spider-Man Musical:The Edge can live, I guess, if he MUST, but really? Bono makes my eyeballs BLEED BLOOD. To say nothing of my delicate ears. I'm going to play The Damned so as to cleanse my skull.Daily Hot Guy[Hunter Stockton Thompson, shirtless. This blog will celebrate his birthday with debauchery, decadence, and drugs, STAY TUNED]Watchmen* THE DIRECTOR'S CUT WILL BE IN THEATERS. WE NEED TO GO SEE IT. BLOG FIELD TRIP. I AM SERIOUS. WHO IS COMING WITH ME TO NEW YORK? WE ARE GOING. IT WILL BE LIFE-CHANGING. WE CAN SEE IT THE WEEKEND OF JULY 17TH. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPS IN MY LOCK TO EXPRESS MY HYSTERICAL JOY. OH SHIT. WE HAVE A PROBLEM. It's only playing in one theater per city. CURSE YOU ZACK SNYDER. WHY WOULD YOU PLAY WITH MY HEART? OK, the rest of you are uninvited. Survival of the FITTEST. GOD DAMMIT. Also, Snyder only loves people with Blu-Ray, which I do NOT HAVE. Do you know how HARD IT IS to be a fan of this fandom? Twilight fans don't have to put up with this BULLSHIT. Although the star of their movie was hit by a cab in a non-fatal and therefore HILARIOUS episode, so I guess that evens things out, maybe?I need to get tickets. NOW. And the new poster JUST FOR THIS EVENT. Who wants to help me? All joking aside. We will swarm like NINJAS. Or Vigilantes. I will wear my fedora, and my fingerless gloves and my trenchcoat, and it will RULE. WHO'S READY TO GET TICKETS AND RETRIBUTION?!Work now. Oh, and my tooth is cracked or chipped or something and it HURTS and life is CHALLENGING, man.- LV
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