Blog* So I realized I miss funny blog titles, and Burn Notice is starting tonight, and it stars Bruce Campbell, so you know what? We're having Bruce Campbell titles mixed in with the quotes. Yes, stop weeping with gratitude. I am generous. And watch
, because Bruce Campbell drinks beer and wears tacky shirts and makes funny jokes. WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED IN LIFE?Food* This is a grilled cheesecake sandwich:[Found at Neatorama]You take slices of cheesecake, put it between pieces of buttered pound cake, and fry the bastard. This will kill you within three minutes of eating it, less if you are lactose intolerant. This will also be served at my wedding to Russell Brand. I think this might, MIGHT be too much of a good thing. Like I love insanely unhealthy and disgusting food as much as anyone, but seriously, it's fried butter and cheese and cream and lard and carbs and... and now I want one with my coffee. So that backfired.Comics* I am posting this because it is Big News among certain comic circles, but before I write anything else, you must understand that I do not give a shit about Archie, Veronica, Betty, or that freak Jughead. By now you know that Archie is engaged to Veronica, and we are all supposed to feel bad for Betty, because she is sweet. Screw that. Veronica is rich and fun and spoiled, and would be much more entertaining. Also she is a brunette, apparently (I always thought her hair qualified as black, but what do I know, right?) so brunettes win forever, even when winning means you have to be stuck with a freaky loser like Archie for the rest of your life, the end.Words Of Win* Toddler accidentally buys $15,600 digger on auction site. I hope the parents traded the child for the digger.Movies* This is creepy, how things coincide on my blog. I do not plan ANY of this, honestly. The universe just DOES these things, in a continued mockery of logic. All things will be made clear later on in this blog. Anyway, Get Him To The Greek is going to be the best movie ever, because Russell Brand is returning as Aldous Snow, complete with tattoos and Sex Hair and singing and wisdom, and I will be there opening day, hopefully with Mr. Brand himself, because I think he is teh sex. Click this link for clips from the set, which I will NOT be breaking into, how dare you imply such a thing! Those tickets to Vegas are for a friend. THEY ARE. Don't look at me.Stupid People* Clearly the most oppressed and maligned group in this country is made up of white males. No, seriously, there is a group that has been created to stop the prejudicial behavior against white men. Because clearly women have been getting it easy for too long. I mean, it's true. We get paid more, we have all the top jobs, we constantly sexually exploit men, leaving them at home to raise the fruit of our wombs while we go on to fancy corporate jobs, and control most of the government. God, women, we as a gender should be ASHAMED of ourselves for exploiting men in such a callous way. Really, my uterus shames me today. Incidentally, did you know women are a resource that men deserve access to? I did not.Books* The following is quite possibly the best headline of the day: "At The Javitzz Center I Sat Down, Wept for Amerikan Book Publishing and Beat Stephen King to Death With a Kindle"Star Trek* This video raises so many deep, important questions:Why is Zachary Quinto being doused with milk? How does one get a job dumping milk on Zachary Quinto? What are the qualifications? Why is he so angry about getting milked dumped on him? That IS milk, right? RIGHT? Most importantly, why do I find this almost obscenely sexy? Remake!Fail* Dear Tony Scott: You will always have some coolness points with me because of your involvement with
. Once upon a time you made goodish movies (Crimson Tide, anyone?) But Warriors? First off, standard remake!fail. The original doesn't NEED a remake. Secondly, if you ARE going to do a remake of Warriors, you do NOT turn it into a serious meditation of modern gang-life in LA. You are not Paul Haggis, making movies about shit you don't understand and trying to Say Something Important. And while I'm sure everyone wants an Oscar for something they don't deserve (I hated Crash AND Million Dollar Baby, I AM SORRY), this is not the way to go about. You can have this remake, if you remain true to the source material. The source material SCREAMS Tony Scott remake. Think about it. I don't want to have to slam you with a full remake!fail, but I will. Don't push me. Cautious Love, LVDaily Hot Guy[Alan Tudyk, naked and tripping on drugs, from the movie Death at A Funeral. This was the best part]And another twofer day. Happy Birthday, Russell Brand (my imaginary fiancee). May your birthday have sexy fun and witty repartee and amazing hair.TeeVee* No. I watched one episode of Fringe, and as sexy and charming as Joshua Jackson is (SECRET TEAM PACEY), I had no fucking clue what was going on, except some naked chick was pregnant with something and like exploded. I don't remember. I was tired. I also figured it would get cancelled. Now I find out that the show got progressively better throughout the season, and by the season finale was fantastic and an icon of good television. To this I say no. I have NO TIME for another TV show. I don't. I'm going to list all my shows at a later date, and you will understand my struggle. Because I do have a life. Honest. I have friends and relationships and family and a job. And I already have to psychotically keep track of like ten shows. I AM TAPPED THE FUCK OUT. I'm already TRYING to get into True Blood, and people keep harassing me about the Tudors. I am overwhelmed. I ALREADY HAVE TO DECIDE BETWEEN HOUSE AND HEROES ON MONDAY NIGHTS. LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH. Seriously though, is Fringe worth a nervous breakdown? Because Joshua Jackson alone is kind of worth that.More later. Try not to set anything on fire while I'm gone.- LV
, because Bruce Campbell drinks beer and wears tacky shirts and makes funny jokes. WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED IN LIFE?Food* This is a grilled cheesecake sandwich:[Found at Neatorama]You take slices of cheesecake, put it between pieces of buttered pound cake, and fry the bastard. This will kill you within three minutes of eating it, less if you are lactose intolerant. This will also be served at my wedding to Russell Brand. I think this might, MIGHT be too much of a good thing. Like I love insanely unhealthy and disgusting food as much as anyone, but seriously, it's fried butter and cheese and cream and lard and carbs and... and now I want one with my coffee. So that backfired.Comics* I am posting this because it is Big News among certain comic circles, but before I write anything else, you must understand that I do not give a shit about Archie, Veronica, Betty, or that freak Jughead. By now you know that Archie is engaged to Veronica, and we are all supposed to feel bad for Betty, because she is sweet. Screw that. Veronica is rich and fun and spoiled, and would be much more entertaining. Also she is a brunette, apparently (I always thought her hair qualified as black, but what do I know, right?) so brunettes win forever, even when winning means you have to be stuck with a freaky loser like Archie for the rest of your life, the end.Words Of Win* Toddler accidentally buys $15,600 digger on auction site. I hope the parents traded the child for the digger.Movies* This is creepy, how things coincide on my blog. I do not plan ANY of this, honestly. The universe just DOES these things, in a continued mockery of logic. All things will be made clear later on in this blog. Anyway, Get Him To The Greek is going to be the best movie ever, because Russell Brand is returning as Aldous Snow, complete with tattoos and Sex Hair and singing and wisdom, and I will be there opening day, hopefully with Mr. Brand himself, because I think he is teh sex. Click this link for clips from the set, which I will NOT be breaking into, how dare you imply such a thing! Those tickets to Vegas are for a friend. THEY ARE. Don't look at me.Stupid People* Clearly the most oppressed and maligned group in this country is made up of white males. No, seriously, there is a group that has been created to stop the prejudicial behavior against white men. Because clearly women have been getting it easy for too long. I mean, it's true. We get paid more, we have all the top jobs, we constantly sexually exploit men, leaving them at home to raise the fruit of our wombs while we go on to fancy corporate jobs, and control most of the government. God, women, we as a gender should be ASHAMED of ourselves for exploiting men in such a callous way. Really, my uterus shames me today. Incidentally, did you know women are a resource that men deserve access to? I did not.Books* The following is quite possibly the best headline of the day: "At The Javitzz Center I Sat Down, Wept for Amerikan Book Publishing and Beat Stephen King to Death With a Kindle"Star Trek* This video raises so many deep, important questions:Why is Zachary Quinto being doused with milk? How does one get a job dumping milk on Zachary Quinto? What are the qualifications? Why is he so angry about getting milked dumped on him? That IS milk, right? RIGHT? Most importantly, why do I find this almost obscenely sexy? Remake!Fail* Dear Tony Scott: You will always have some coolness points with me because of your involvement with
. Once upon a time you made goodish movies (Crimson Tide, anyone?) But Warriors? First off, standard remake!fail. The original doesn't NEED a remake. Secondly, if you ARE going to do a remake of Warriors, you do NOT turn it into a serious meditation of modern gang-life in LA. You are not Paul Haggis, making movies about shit you don't understand and trying to Say Something Important. And while I'm sure everyone wants an Oscar for something they don't deserve (I hated Crash AND Million Dollar Baby, I AM SORRY), this is not the way to go about. You can have this remake, if you remain true to the source material. The source material SCREAMS Tony Scott remake. Think about it. I don't want to have to slam you with a full remake!fail, but I will. Don't push me. Cautious Love, LVDaily Hot Guy[Alan Tudyk, naked and tripping on drugs, from the movie Death at A Funeral. This was the best part]And another twofer day. Happy Birthday, Russell Brand (my imaginary fiancee). May your birthday have sexy fun and witty repartee and amazing hair.TeeVee* No. I watched one episode of Fringe, and as sexy and charming as Joshua Jackson is (SECRET TEAM PACEY), I had no fucking clue what was going on, except some naked chick was pregnant with something and like exploded. I don't remember. I was tired. I also figured it would get cancelled. Now I find out that the show got progressively better throughout the season, and by the season finale was fantastic and an icon of good television. To this I say no. I have NO TIME for another TV show. I don't. I'm going to list all my shows at a later date, and you will understand my struggle. Because I do have a life. Honest. I have friends and relationships and family and a job. And I already have to psychotically keep track of like ten shows. I AM TAPPED THE FUCK OUT. I'm already TRYING to get into True Blood, and people keep harassing me about the Tudors. I am overwhelmed. I ALREADY HAVE TO DECIDE BETWEEN HOUSE AND HEROES ON MONDAY NIGHTS. LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH. Seriously though, is Fringe worth a nervous breakdown? Because Joshua Jackson alone is kind of worth that.More later. Try not to set anything on fire while I'm gone.- LV
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