Blog* Title is from Futurama, teaching us all about love and regrettable sexual experiences.Freakangels Friday* After a long, painful week that included doctor's visits, the LSATS, limited sleep, lots of work, and a trip to the mall that, while fun, proved once again that New Jersey has an awful lot of fail for such a little state, the week is redeemed by the Glory and Wisdom that is FREAKANGELS. And now I want a shirt to go with my bag. Frankly, I think I deserve one. So buy one for me? Anyway, as every week, I will not read the brilliance or view the wonder until after I post this entry. Spoilers at the bottom of the page, below my signature. Vampires* Here's a list of common vampire phrases, none of which appear in my book. Because in my book, vampires are bad guys. They are scary and kill people. AS THEY SHOULD BE. NO DAMN SPARKLING. Wait, doesn't this sort of make Twilight dude's girlfriend ALSO his daughter? Because I read the books, I KNOW what happens. So Twilight supports bad writing AND inappropriate familial relations. And people have a problem with Harry Potter? Also, I'm looking forward to the return of
this weekend. Books* I don't really utilize audio books, unless I really love the person who's reading AND the book (like Gary Sinise reading Of Mice and Men, or Obama's
, or Stephen Colbert's I Am America!), but I really like the idea of a Netflix for audiobooks. Basically I will support anything that A) gets people to read more, and B) I only have to pay for once a month, thus reducing the number of economy-related tears I shed per month.Star Trek* The dude who greenlit the original Star Trek liked the reboot, except he essentially faulted all the new actors for being, well, young and not the original cast, who are all old and dead. Look, NOBODY can replace the original cast, and nobody is TRYING. Really, Mr. Solow, you aren't annoyed by the fact that George Takei didn't come back with a ton of makeup to play himself what, forty years younger. You are upset because you saw this picture of Zachary Quinto online, and will never fully recover:[Found at Jezebel]This was taken on his birthday, and he has since shaved it off, but still. I know, I know, Mr. Solow. Come, let me hold you. The pornstache is gone now, but it will echo in eternity. TeeVee* Do you know, I honestly forgot that VH1 existed? Like, I didn't think it went away, and I know it shows a lot of tragic celebrity reality shows, but it hasn't entered my thought process in AGES. Because it has less and less to do with music, or culture, or anything but Janice Dickinson screeching like a howler monkey and shoving her crotch at the nearest camera. And now, as if the channel hasn't already become a sort of sad and uncomfortable reminder of when music TV was interesting and informative, they are reportedly canceling Best Week Ever, which was the only purpose for the whole damn channel anymore. Although, like I said, I forgot Best Week Ever was actually ON VH1, because I watch clips online or just check out the website, and I did remember that VH1 exists because of this story, so maybe the whole thing is a clever marketing scam. Journalism* I have spent a large portion of the morning chugging coffee like the elixir of life that it is and screaming at CNN, because holy shit this is not good journalism. The phrases they use are laughable, and the way they report on shit is appalling. People sometimes complain about how I handle the news. I AM A BLOGGER, who gets a few hundred hits a day. They are professionals who get paid money, and they are sticking their microphones in the faces of sobbing mothers who just lost their children to a fire. That is not reporting. That is not news. That is a manipulative exploitation of the pain of others, and voyeurism at its worst. Susan Sontag would be stockpiling WEAPONS over this shit. IT IS INFURIATING. AND STOP GOING ON ABOUT TWITTER. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT. LET IT GO. GOD. Anyway, since I am annoyed with all the major news stations, it appears, because they all have some degree of Fail, here's Bill O'Reilly shitting all over innocent, bright-eyed young children, and their parents, and anyone who has EVER laughed at anything, especially Bill O'Reilly's hideously bad, laughably ridiculous novel, which involves him writing about sexytimes with sexy ladies, who need the sexings. Geek Want* This blog is a testament to the fact that I love weird shit, and random crap, and that I am in awe of the stuff that people come up with. That includes lightbulbs:[Found at WorldOfWonder]These are drippy lightbulbs, and they are gorgeous, aren't they? I want these in my bathroom. Not my bedroom, though, because then I might get scared. But in the kitchen? And the bathrooms? When I buy a big old farmhouse, these lightbulbs will be in any room with water. Yes, I want a farmhouse. I also want a penthouse. It will be like Green Acres, only BETTER, and without that alarming pig.Daily Hot Guy[Robert Downey Jr, single-handedly making smoking cool, relaxing, and sexy. Also I have this copy of Esquire exclusively because of this picture, and the others inside the magazine]Politics* Michael Steele is one of those politicians who I actually feel really bad for, because he is not an insane wingnut in a lot of ways, and also he seems to be completely baffled as to why Rush Limbaugh wants to eat him, for democracy. He's doomed, essentially, because the few remaining Republicans hate everyone, especially each other, and obviously Steele should give up his job to Sarah Palin, whose wisdom and intellect and savvy will doubtlessly lead the Republican Party into a new era of prosperity and power. Here's Michael Steele, nicely asking other Republicans not to be racist in regards to Sotomayor, because that's wrong. They respond by screeching like Janice Dickinson and setting fire to his shoes. Then again, it might be because Steele actually said 'slammin and rammin'' which is a terrifying phrase.Apocalypse How?* Whatever is coming, the sheep know about it:[Found at Geekologie]These are sheep forming a perfect circle. Not a wooly cover band (AHAHAHA, oh god, my brain hates everyone), but a signal to the aliens, or possibly their Home Planet, that they are sick of our shit and ready for the invasion to begin. This is all because of mutton, which I have never eaten, but will end up destroying our society. Or maybe the sheep are really into fractal geometry. I don't know.Doctor Who* I am really losing patience with all the Doctor Who rumors. Is the Doctor getting married to a Dalek? Is Rose coming back to kill everyone? Will the tenth and eleventh Doctors furiously make out with each other during regeneration? Will Christopher Eccleston FINALLY come back and reclaim his place as my favorite Doctor, even if Tennant is brilliant and a very close second (some days a tie). So tell me: Are you splitting up the eleventh Doctor's premiere season? WHEN ARE WE GETTING IT IN AMERICA? BECAUSE I WILL move to England just to see these goddamn episodes. DO NOT PUSH ME. Steven Moffat, I suffer enough for this damn show ("The Parting of the Ways" and "School Reunion" made me freaking cry for days, and the episode with the killer stone aliens STILL SCARES ME), so please just release some information that is true, and let my pain end, OK?WTF, INTERNET?* I will not act like I don't find Family Guy to be very funny sometimes (and I have a Voice Crush on Seth MacFarlane, but we don't talk about that). It has moments of genius, and sometimes it is so offensive that you have to laugh to keep the rage down. Also, this video is capable of redeeming most of the show's numerous (and they are NUMEROUS) sins:The FCC are awful. But so is this:[Found at NerdApproved]Now, Quagmire has some of the funniest bits on the whole show (including the one where he realizes everyone can hear his thoughts, and starts frantically thinking music to stop it).WHY DOES THAT MAKE ME LAUGH SO HARD? He is also terribly sick and deviant and a little bit creepy. All that aside, there is NO ONE on Family Guy who should be endorsing any product you ingest. I can't find at product information page for this thing, but I imagine it tastes of shame and fear and guilt and cheap five dollar bills and a Roofy Colada, with an aftertaste of jail-time. And the name is just awful. Cherry soda is ruined for me, forever (Call me Seth MacFarlane! Your voice is HOT).More later. But I think the sun is actually coming out, and I need to work on my book for a bit. And read Freakangels, FINALLY.- LVSpoilers Below For This Week's Freakangels* AHAHA! Alice pummeled Luke while he was busy raping some poor girl with his psychic skills! YES! Alice FTW. I like her, now. Also I agree with what they said about every musician in this episode. And Karl still lives by being absent. Plus, you really need to give Luke some credit for maintaing such composure and having the cojones to be annoyed when he is caught RAPING somebody using Creepy Brain Powers, and is ass enough to ask for PRIVACY so he can continue the rape. That is REMARKABLE. I do think that Alice will soon be learning a timely yet unpleasant lesson about what happens when you introduce a Freakangel's face to the top of a garbage can. Answer: Nothing good, but as long as Karl is OK I do not care. I am single-minded in my devotion, OK?
this weekend. Books* I don't really utilize audio books, unless I really love the person who's reading AND the book (like Gary Sinise reading Of Mice and Men, or Obama's
, or Stephen Colbert's I Am America!), but I really like the idea of a Netflix for audiobooks. Basically I will support anything that A) gets people to read more, and B) I only have to pay for once a month, thus reducing the number of economy-related tears I shed per month.Star Trek* The dude who greenlit the original Star Trek liked the reboot, except he essentially faulted all the new actors for being, well, young and not the original cast, who are all old and dead. Look, NOBODY can replace the original cast, and nobody is TRYING. Really, Mr. Solow, you aren't annoyed by the fact that George Takei didn't come back with a ton of makeup to play himself what, forty years younger. You are upset because you saw this picture of Zachary Quinto online, and will never fully recover:[Found at Jezebel]This was taken on his birthday, and he has since shaved it off, but still. I know, I know, Mr. Solow. Come, let me hold you. The pornstache is gone now, but it will echo in eternity. TeeVee* Do you know, I honestly forgot that VH1 existed? Like, I didn't think it went away, and I know it shows a lot of tragic celebrity reality shows, but it hasn't entered my thought process in AGES. Because it has less and less to do with music, or culture, or anything but Janice Dickinson screeching like a howler monkey and shoving her crotch at the nearest camera. And now, as if the channel hasn't already become a sort of sad and uncomfortable reminder of when music TV was interesting and informative, they are reportedly canceling Best Week Ever, which was the only purpose for the whole damn channel anymore. Although, like I said, I forgot Best Week Ever was actually ON VH1, because I watch clips online or just check out the website, and I did remember that VH1 exists because of this story, so maybe the whole thing is a clever marketing scam. Journalism* I have spent a large portion of the morning chugging coffee like the elixir of life that it is and screaming at CNN, because holy shit this is not good journalism. The phrases they use are laughable, and the way they report on shit is appalling. People sometimes complain about how I handle the news. I AM A BLOGGER, who gets a few hundred hits a day. They are professionals who get paid money, and they are sticking their microphones in the faces of sobbing mothers who just lost their children to a fire. That is not reporting. That is not news. That is a manipulative exploitation of the pain of others, and voyeurism at its worst. Susan Sontag would be stockpiling WEAPONS over this shit. IT IS INFURIATING. AND STOP GOING ON ABOUT TWITTER. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT. LET IT GO. GOD. Anyway, since I am annoyed with all the major news stations, it appears, because they all have some degree of Fail, here's Bill O'Reilly shitting all over innocent, bright-eyed young children, and their parents, and anyone who has EVER laughed at anything, especially Bill O'Reilly's hideously bad, laughably ridiculous novel, which involves him writing about sexytimes with sexy ladies, who need the sexings. Geek Want* This blog is a testament to the fact that I love weird shit, and random crap, and that I am in awe of the stuff that people come up with. That includes lightbulbs:[Found at WorldOfWonder]These are drippy lightbulbs, and they are gorgeous, aren't they? I want these in my bathroom. Not my bedroom, though, because then I might get scared. But in the kitchen? And the bathrooms? When I buy a big old farmhouse, these lightbulbs will be in any room with water. Yes, I want a farmhouse. I also want a penthouse. It will be like Green Acres, only BETTER, and without that alarming pig.Daily Hot Guy[Robert Downey Jr, single-handedly making smoking cool, relaxing, and sexy. Also I have this copy of Esquire exclusively because of this picture, and the others inside the magazine]Politics* Michael Steele is one of those politicians who I actually feel really bad for, because he is not an insane wingnut in a lot of ways, and also he seems to be completely baffled as to why Rush Limbaugh wants to eat him, for democracy. He's doomed, essentially, because the few remaining Republicans hate everyone, especially each other, and obviously Steele should give up his job to Sarah Palin, whose wisdom and intellect and savvy will doubtlessly lead the Republican Party into a new era of prosperity and power. Here's Michael Steele, nicely asking other Republicans not to be racist in regards to Sotomayor, because that's wrong. They respond by screeching like Janice Dickinson and setting fire to his shoes. Then again, it might be because Steele actually said 'slammin and rammin'' which is a terrifying phrase.Apocalypse How?* Whatever is coming, the sheep know about it:[Found at Geekologie]These are sheep forming a perfect circle. Not a wooly cover band (AHAHAHA, oh god, my brain hates everyone), but a signal to the aliens, or possibly their Home Planet, that they are sick of our shit and ready for the invasion to begin. This is all because of mutton, which I have never eaten, but will end up destroying our society. Or maybe the sheep are really into fractal geometry. I don't know.Doctor Who* I am really losing patience with all the Doctor Who rumors. Is the Doctor getting married to a Dalek? Is Rose coming back to kill everyone? Will the tenth and eleventh Doctors furiously make out with each other during regeneration? Will Christopher Eccleston FINALLY come back and reclaim his place as my favorite Doctor, even if Tennant is brilliant and a very close second (some days a tie). So tell me: Are you splitting up the eleventh Doctor's premiere season? WHEN ARE WE GETTING IT IN AMERICA? BECAUSE I WILL move to England just to see these goddamn episodes. DO NOT PUSH ME. Steven Moffat, I suffer enough for this damn show ("The Parting of the Ways" and "School Reunion" made me freaking cry for days, and the episode with the killer stone aliens STILL SCARES ME), so please just release some information that is true, and let my pain end, OK?WTF, INTERNET?* I will not act like I don't find Family Guy to be very funny sometimes (and I have a Voice Crush on Seth MacFarlane, but we don't talk about that). It has moments of genius, and sometimes it is so offensive that you have to laugh to keep the rage down. Also, this video is capable of redeeming most of the show's numerous (and they are NUMEROUS) sins:The FCC are awful. But so is this:[Found at NerdApproved]Now, Quagmire has some of the funniest bits on the whole show (including the one where he realizes everyone can hear his thoughts, and starts frantically thinking music to stop it).WHY DOES THAT MAKE ME LAUGH SO HARD? He is also terribly sick and deviant and a little bit creepy. All that aside, there is NO ONE on Family Guy who should be endorsing any product you ingest. I can't find at product information page for this thing, but I imagine it tastes of shame and fear and guilt and cheap five dollar bills and a Roofy Colada, with an aftertaste of jail-time. And the name is just awful. Cherry soda is ruined for me, forever (Call me Seth MacFarlane! Your voice is HOT).More later. But I think the sun is actually coming out, and I need to work on my book for a bit. And read Freakangels, FINALLY.- LVSpoilers Below For This Week's Freakangels* AHAHA! Alice pummeled Luke while he was busy raping some poor girl with his psychic skills! YES! Alice FTW. I like her, now. Also I agree with what they said about every musician in this episode. And Karl still lives by being absent. Plus, you really need to give Luke some credit for maintaing such composure and having the cojones to be annoyed when he is caught RAPING somebody using Creepy Brain Powers, and is ass enough to ask for PRIVACY so he can continue the rape. That is REMARKABLE. I do think that Alice will soon be learning a timely yet unpleasant lesson about what happens when you introduce a Freakangel's face to the top of a garbage can. Answer: Nothing good, but as long as Karl is OK I do not care. I am single-minded in my devotion, OK?
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