Friday, June 26, 2009

Okay. I'm Lost I'm Angry & Um I'm Armed.

Blog
* And that's the way we love you best, Mal. Especially when you're also nude. Title is from Firefly.

* I know I said I'd post the Rules Of Fandom yesterday, and I MEANT to, but it's been a stressful week, and I got a little caught up with the drinking of alcohol and working on other writing (book is going well) and doing work research and basically freaking out. Bad life choices, all around. And maybe obsessively watching Michael Jackson videos on VH1 and feeling sad, because the dude NEVER looks happy, and that makes me think of Kurt Cobain, even though I was little when he died, and then I get sad about THAT. Um, so I promise to post the Rules Of Fandom today, and I got more submissions, so thank you, and it's very long and awesome.

TwiHate
* I know, I know. I talk a lot about how all fandoms have value and we should all support each other in theory, even if we hate the other fandoms. Because we're all the same INSIDE, man. But I make fun of Rorschach thongs and other ridiculous merchandise, and I'm not making fun of the fandom ITSELF, and really, this is ridiculous:

[Found at Geekologie]
That's $16.00 vampire lip gloss. It is in no way affiliated with V For Vendetta despite the big V, not that I initially thought that and maybe got really excited, THERE WAS NO FUN MERCHANDISE FOR THAT COMIC/MOVIE. And it plumps up your lips, which I know because I have used that in the past, when I foolishly thought that implying I had been punched in the mouth was what my look needed. And while there was no real connection between swollen lips and V For Vendetta (although I could make a vague one involving the Child Pornography For Justice scene, if I tried) I don't really see a connection with Twilight, either. White pancake makeup? THAT would make sense. I wouldn't even mock it. Online.

Politics
* Dear Rush Limbaugh: You and Sean Hannity should join forces and use your crazy to punch a hole in reality. And, um, I don't know how to tell you this, but Obama doesn't own the banks. Or FOX. He just... he doesn't own those things. I don't really know how else to explain that. Go eat some interns and relax. Click the link to see Rush panicking.

* This website is a memorial to Dr. Tiller, and a tribute to the help he offered women. It might have made me cry, a little. But like I've said, it's been a rough week, and my emotions are all crazy-like. No, I just looked again. It really is that sad.

* A perfect example of how to use Twitter for - well, not evil, but crazy. And ignorant. And the inability to SPELL. I know this is old, but spelling is important. One typo is understandable. I make them myself, so I'd be hypocritical to imply no one ever does. BUT READ HIS TWEETS. And he's a SENATOR. He should be able to spell 'schedule.' AND DON'T SAY HE WAS SHORTENING IT TO FIT ON TWITTER. He wasn't. He thinks it's spelled that way. New law: You want to work in politics? Great. SPELL BASIC WORDS. GAH.

Apocalypse How?
* This category is becoming nothing more than a litany of scary airplane stories, isn't it? Well, airplanes are scary, and while I'll probably have to fly again at some point, unless scientists move their asses and figure out teleportation, I have no doubt that I will spend the flight in the cockpit, screaming at the pilot. 'THAT CLOUD LOOKS FUNNY. DON'T FLY NEAR IT. WHAT'S THAT NOISE? THAT LIGHT IS FLASHING MAKE IT STOP. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE SKY. NO, YOU CANNOT GO TO THE BATHROOM. IT'S ONLY SIX MORE HOURS. STOP CRYING! THAT MAKES IT HARDER TO SEE THINGS.'
But if I'd been on this plane, I imagine my hysteria would have been justified. The pilot told passengers to sit at the back of the plane to balance out the heavy luggage. BECAUSE OTHERWISE THE PLANE WOULD FLY CROOKED AND MAYBE CRASH AND KILL EVERYONE. Also, people were sobbing like babies as they disembarked. Maybe I'll take a boat home. Or a train. OR A MULE. Yep, good ol' mules. You never hear about those exploding and killing everyone. Mule travel is the way of the future.

WTF, INTERNET?
* On one hand, this product might be genius. It might be child abuse, which I frown on in general, unless the kid is a mean little shit, and even then it's probably not the ideal plan of action. This is a ball and chain to make you study:

[Found at Neatorama]
You attach it to your leg, set the timer, and it won't let go until you're done. This strikes me as kind of against some law, although I couldn't tell you WHICH law in particular, because I don't know how creative lawmakers are. But you could use this if you were a babysitter. Or kidnapping someone. The point is, you could really use this for evil instead of good. And being chained to your desk doesn't guarantee you're studying. Trust me. You could be doodling, or staring off into space. There's no way to make someone stop doing THAT without removing their eyeballs, and then studying is the least of your concerns.

Zombies
* OK, you guys suck. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS WEBSITE?! Actually, people DID tell me, so thank you sincerely for that. All my monies are going to this site. I AM PREPARING. I want this sword. I know guns are great, and I love guns for zombie attacks, but you NEED a hand-held weapon when you're fighting in closed quarters, and I LUST after this.

[Found at ZombieTools]
But I also need stronger fingerless gloves. The ones I bought from Hot Topic aren't really durable enough to survive the zombie apocalypse.

Daily Hot Guy
* You are aware that the next Iron Man movie could be this image onscreen for two and a half hours, and I wouldn't DARE complain. It wouldn't even occur to me to be anything but GRATEFUL for such a bounty:

[Robert Downey Jr, LOOK AT THOSE ARMS]

Up next: Fandom Rules. I PROMISE.
- LV

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