Blog
* Oh, Fry. Maybe you should be quiet until Futurama gets put back on TV. Just to be safe.
Depression Session
* Please tell me you're kidding. I know I make up a lot of words (but mine are brilliant - Rorgasm? Quintorgy? These are signs of GENIUS people, don't steal my ideas, PATENT PENDING) but whoever invented the phrase 'funemployment' has secured themselves a glorious spot in hell. Because nothing says 'never-ending whirlwind of fun and excitement' like having no money or career, and having to move home with your parents because you can't afford to live on your own, and be looking for a second job EVEN THOUGH YOU WORK REALLY HARD, and crying over car payments, and then feeling guilty because you don't have it even HALF as bad as a lot of people out there, so yeah, let's all party, WHOOOO.
Girly Shit
* Makeup is KILLING ALL OF US WITH THE POISONS. I blame it on Mondays. And Bill O'Reilly. OK, not really the second one. But why can't makeup ever give us cool super-powers. I want my eyeliner to give me heat vision, or my blush to make me immune to the cold. Instead, it gives us cancer. That's just UNFAIR.
Music
* I feel like I need to explain my switching from Team Lady Gaga Sucks & Needs To Put On Some Damn Pants to Team Gaga Rules But Still Needs To Put On Some Damn Pants. After much harassment from multiple sources, I watched the 'Paparazzi' video. And it was brilliant. Then I watched the video for 'Beautiful Dirty Rich' and I want to live in that video. Ultimately, I think it's because she's fun. Now, don't get me wrong. Girl needs to put on pants, or a skirt. That shit is not OK. And I'm fairly certain that if I met her in real life I'd find her pretentious and steal all her wigs and then never wear them, but I would like to OWN wigs such as hers. Her voice is amazing, her songs are catchy and fun, and damn it, it's summer and I'd like some fun cool music to listen to in the car. Also I want her hair, sometimes. And her attitude. And she's short like me, so represent. But she does remind me of a lot of the girls I went to college with that infuriated me with their pretensions. So it's a complicated relationship we have. I'd like to sit her down with some tea and explain why skirts are fun, and ask where she got her fingerless gloves, because MINE are from Hot Topic, and then discuss which designers we don't like and see if she could maybe introduce me to some celebrities, and then we would go shoe shipping. Because, really, how can you hate someone who goes out in public, of their own volition, looking like this:
WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET SHIT LIKE THIS? Oh, and Lady Gaga may be the new face of Mac makeup, which I predict will be hysterically funny, because those people have NO IDEA what they're getting themselves into.
Technology
* Teeny tiny robots crawling through your veins is either A) Adorable B) Terrifying C) Amazing D) Miscategorized, & should be placed under Apocalypse How, E) Some bizarre combination of the above.
Watchmen
* Nothing good related to Watchmen ever happens in New Jersey. THIS IS UNFAIR. While most of the events take place in New York (or Mars, or Antarctica), Rorschach spent a large portion of his childhood in New Jersey. We should be HONORED AS SUCH. Instead, we get zilch. Unfair. Because New Orleans is getting Watchmen, and I cannot get to New Orleans to SEE these remarkable presentations on Watchmen, and I have a Watchmen tattoo, ergo I should get to go to any Watchmen event I want, free, with complimentary airfare and drugs to get me on the airplane, the end. It says so in the Bible. OF MY MIND.
Tattoo Of Win
[Found at LOLTATZ]
I spent almost a full minute squinting at my computer screen, trying to determine if that was shading or strategic back hair surrounding the tracks. I believe it's the former. I need to believe it's the former.
Daily Hot Guy
* I AM adding more guys to this section, but Russell Brand is lovely, so stop complaining.
[Russell Brand, who is the sly nymph of sex and hair]
Food
* This is a burger made out of marshmallows:
[Found at NerdApproved]
And no, I don't want to eat it. Although I would be delighted to poke it with a fork. Or microwave it. That would be life-changing.
Comics
* I firmly believe that Family Circus is only allowed to exist because it gives Josh something to make fun of, and makes me snork into my coffee every morning. Which hurts, actually, so I don't know why I'm endorsing his hilarious website since it causes my sinuses even MORE pain.
Words Of Win
see more Fail Blog
YouTube Wonders
* I am still catching up on season 1 of True Blood (OH THE SEXY SOUTHERN VAMPIRE TRAUMA WHEN DOES IT END?) so I didn't watch last night's season premiere, but this almost broke my resolve to watch the episodes in order:
Movies
* Dear Sam Raimi: Because Drag Me To Hell was the best major horror movie I've seen in YEARS, and because I loved it so hard, I don't really care if Spider-Man 4 sucks. I'm sorry, but you killed off my favorite character already (AS ALWAYS) and the third one had only one or two scenes to recommend it, and what was WRONG with Peter Parker's Evil Hairdo? So while it's nice that you're apparently listening to fans for the fourth installment, I'm sort of indifferent at this point. And I dislike Kirsten Dunst. Just putting that out there.
* Up was the bestest kids movie of the year. Unsurprisingly. I LOVE ED ASNER. I do. And I cried wildly throughout the movie, to the point where my little brother was trying to switch seats to get away from me. But it was AMAZING. I loved it so hard. Anything else would ruin it. Just go see it. Again and again. ED ANSWER FTW.
Stupid People
* Look, I know I'm a little late to the game on this topic, but I wanted time to think about it before I said anything. I want to say something about the murder of Dr. Tiller. This is not going to be an abortion debate. I have not had enough coffee for that particular discussion, and it makes me shouty anyway. I do not want to have that conversation right now. Maybe later. For now, can we all agree that ANYONE who celebrates the brutal murder of another human being deserves the heading of 'Stupid Person' and that maybe the people who are typing hateful comments about how great his murder was should THINK before they are allowed near a computer? Can we all agree on that? Because whether or not you agreed with what he did or thought it was criminal (although it WAS LEGAL) the taking of a life is reprehensible. There, I'm done for now.
Books
* These are not real books, but they combine books and timepieces (yes, that was a Heroes reference. I think I'm immune to coffee), and that is glorious:
[Found at IncredibleThings]
You notice how cool people work with watches? Jon Osterman, before he became a naked blue EXPLODER OF PEOPLE I LOVE. And Gabriel Gray, before he became, um, even hotter in his crazy? I don't know where I was going with this, except now I want a watch. And Sylar.
More later, maybe, maybe not. Work is weird today. And I have writing to do.
- LV
* Oh, Fry. Maybe you should be quiet until Futurama gets put back on TV. Just to be safe.
Depression Session
* Please tell me you're kidding. I know I make up a lot of words (but mine are brilliant - Rorgasm? Quintorgy? These are signs of GENIUS people, don't steal my ideas, PATENT PENDING) but whoever invented the phrase 'funemployment' has secured themselves a glorious spot in hell. Because nothing says 'never-ending whirlwind of fun and excitement' like having no money or career, and having to move home with your parents because you can't afford to live on your own, and be looking for a second job EVEN THOUGH YOU WORK REALLY HARD, and crying over car payments, and then feeling guilty because you don't have it even HALF as bad as a lot of people out there, so yeah, let's all party, WHOOOO.
Girly Shit
* Makeup is KILLING ALL OF US WITH THE POISONS. I blame it on Mondays. And Bill O'Reilly. OK, not really the second one. But why can't makeup ever give us cool super-powers. I want my eyeliner to give me heat vision, or my blush to make me immune to the cold. Instead, it gives us cancer. That's just UNFAIR.
Music
* I feel like I need to explain my switching from Team Lady Gaga Sucks & Needs To Put On Some Damn Pants to Team Gaga Rules But Still Needs To Put On Some Damn Pants. After much harassment from multiple sources, I watched the 'Paparazzi' video. And it was brilliant. Then I watched the video for 'Beautiful Dirty Rich' and I want to live in that video. Ultimately, I think it's because she's fun. Now, don't get me wrong. Girl needs to put on pants, or a skirt. That shit is not OK. And I'm fairly certain that if I met her in real life I'd find her pretentious and steal all her wigs and then never wear them, but I would like to OWN wigs such as hers. Her voice is amazing, her songs are catchy and fun, and damn it, it's summer and I'd like some fun cool music to listen to in the car. Also I want her hair, sometimes. And her attitude. And she's short like me, so represent. But she does remind me of a lot of the girls I went to college with that infuriated me with their pretensions. So it's a complicated relationship we have. I'd like to sit her down with some tea and explain why skirts are fun, and ask where she got her fingerless gloves, because MINE are from Hot Topic, and then discuss which designers we don't like and see if she could maybe introduce me to some celebrities, and then we would go shoe shipping. Because, really, how can you hate someone who goes out in public, of their own volition, looking like this:
WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET SHIT LIKE THIS? Oh, and Lady Gaga may be the new face of Mac makeup, which I predict will be hysterically funny, because those people have NO IDEA what they're getting themselves into.
Technology
* Teeny tiny robots crawling through your veins is either A) Adorable B) Terrifying C) Amazing D) Miscategorized, & should be placed under Apocalypse How, E) Some bizarre combination of the above.
Watchmen
* Nothing good related to Watchmen ever happens in New Jersey. THIS IS UNFAIR. While most of the events take place in New York (or Mars, or Antarctica), Rorschach spent a large portion of his childhood in New Jersey. We should be HONORED AS SUCH. Instead, we get zilch. Unfair. Because New Orleans is getting Watchmen, and I cannot get to New Orleans to SEE these remarkable presentations on Watchmen, and I have a Watchmen tattoo, ergo I should get to go to any Watchmen event I want, free, with complimentary airfare and drugs to get me on the airplane, the end. It says so in the Bible. OF MY MIND.
Tattoo Of Win
[Found at LOLTATZ]
I spent almost a full minute squinting at my computer screen, trying to determine if that was shading or strategic back hair surrounding the tracks. I believe it's the former. I need to believe it's the former.
Daily Hot Guy
* I AM adding more guys to this section, but Russell Brand is lovely, so stop complaining.
[Russell Brand, who is the sly nymph of sex and hair]
Food
* This is a burger made out of marshmallows:
[Found at NerdApproved]
And no, I don't want to eat it. Although I would be delighted to poke it with a fork. Or microwave it. That would be life-changing.
Comics
* I firmly believe that Family Circus is only allowed to exist because it gives Josh something to make fun of, and makes me snork into my coffee every morning. Which hurts, actually, so I don't know why I'm endorsing his hilarious website since it causes my sinuses even MORE pain.
Words Of Win
see more Fail Blog
YouTube Wonders
* I am still catching up on season 1 of True Blood (OH THE SEXY SOUTHERN VAMPIRE TRAUMA WHEN DOES IT END?) so I didn't watch last night's season premiere, but this almost broke my resolve to watch the episodes in order:
Movies
* Dear Sam Raimi: Because Drag Me To Hell was the best major horror movie I've seen in YEARS, and because I loved it so hard, I don't really care if Spider-Man 4 sucks. I'm sorry, but you killed off my favorite character already (AS ALWAYS) and the third one had only one or two scenes to recommend it, and what was WRONG with Peter Parker's Evil Hairdo? So while it's nice that you're apparently listening to fans for the fourth installment, I'm sort of indifferent at this point. And I dislike Kirsten Dunst. Just putting that out there.
* Up was the bestest kids movie of the year. Unsurprisingly. I LOVE ED ASNER. I do. And I cried wildly throughout the movie, to the point where my little brother was trying to switch seats to get away from me. But it was AMAZING. I loved it so hard. Anything else would ruin it. Just go see it. Again and again. ED ANSWER FTW.
Stupid People
* Look, I know I'm a little late to the game on this topic, but I wanted time to think about it before I said anything. I want to say something about the murder of Dr. Tiller. This is not going to be an abortion debate. I have not had enough coffee for that particular discussion, and it makes me shouty anyway. I do not want to have that conversation right now. Maybe later. For now, can we all agree that ANYONE who celebrates the brutal murder of another human being deserves the heading of 'Stupid Person' and that maybe the people who are typing hateful comments about how great his murder was should THINK before they are allowed near a computer? Can we all agree on that? Because whether or not you agreed with what he did or thought it was criminal (although it WAS LEGAL) the taking of a life is reprehensible. There, I'm done for now.
Books
* These are not real books, but they combine books and timepieces (yes, that was a Heroes reference. I think I'm immune to coffee), and that is glorious:
[Found at IncredibleThings]
You notice how cool people work with watches? Jon Osterman, before he became a naked blue EXPLODER OF PEOPLE I LOVE. And Gabriel Gray, before he became, um, even hotter in his crazy? I don't know where I was going with this, except now I want a watch. And Sylar.
More later, maybe, maybe not. Work is weird today. And I have writing to do.
- LV
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