Blog
* The above title comes from the brilliant pen of Terry Pratchett, maker of all things good and the God of Delights in the Pantheon of Gods. Other Gods may include:
* Alan Moore - God of Chaos & Wisdom & Grappling Hooks
* Joan Didion - Goddess of Introspection & Bumming Everyone Out
* Joss Whedon - God of Quips & Killing My Favorite Characters
* Patti Smith - Goddess of Language & Covers & New Jersey
* Hunter S. Thompson - God of This Blog & Anything Else He Wants To Be The Goddamn God Of
* Margaret Atwood - Goddess of Blowing Your Mind While Teaching You Important Lessons About Society
* Warren Ellis - God of Technology & Creative Curses
* Noam Chomsky - God of All Media
* Howard Zinn - God of History
* J.K. Rowling - Goddess of Latin & Franchises & Killing My Favorite Characters (there can be two, if I want)
There are many more gods in my atheistic multiverse, depending on my mood, but I don't feel like listing them all, unless someone asks nicely, then I probably will. There are minor gods, too. Michael Bay is the Minor God of Big Loud Explosions.
You have to be a writer to be a Major god. Writers create. Sorry, them's the rules. That I just made up.
Watchmen
* I am sort of torn between anticipation and dread when it comes to the edited for TV version of Watchmen. If it's a flawless editing process that does no shame to the movie, I will be happy. If it is as bad as From Dusk Till Dawn (where they must have used women to dub over Clooney & Tarantino) or Snakes On A Plane (which is somehow even funnier without the cursing), it will be worthy of a drinking game, and there will be rejoicing. But what if it's only kind of crappy? What if it's just, dare I say, eh? Then someone will have to be smited. At least FX didn't get the rights. Also, what kind of deal involves both Watchmen AND Ghosts of Girlfriends Past? One with SATAN.
Technology
* This kind of freaks me out, although I honestly can't say why:
[Found at Wired]
It's a flat light-bulb that uses LED and a battery to light up. Not scary at all, right? Quite clever, actually. And yet it makes me leery, like this is the first step of infiltration from some awful two-dimensional world, the kind Stephen King would have written about back when he was still scary. Or if you spend any time around this bulb, things start to look flat, then everything but you looks flat, and you're trapped in some awful world where nothing is real but you, and you jump out a window, but it's flat, and fall to your gruesome death on the (flat) pavement. I am certain I'm the only person who feels this way.
WTF, INTERNET?
[Found at WorldOfWonder]
I am not offended by this clock. I simply cannot stop staring at the swinging cow-balls. I know they are not swinging ONSCREEN, but they are out there, in the world, and they are swinging to keep time. Cow-balls. Think about it. Imagine if these were in every office in the world. Nobody would ever get any work done. They are fascinating on some basic human level, and terrifying in their pendulous swinging. Plus, it's funny to imagine someone explaining this work to their friends: "OK, it's a cow clock, right? But - here's the brilliant bit - THE BALLS SWING. Isn't that geniu- Hey, where are you going?"
Zombies
* Yes, this Wired article is about corporate zombies, not REAL zombies. I do know that. But corporate zombies are scary in their own way, and what if this is all an elaborate cover to explain when the REAL zombies show up, huh? Didn't think of THAT, did you?
Animals
* File this under, 'I Could Not Possibly Love Someone Who Ever Did This, With A Few Notable Exceptions:'
[Found at Neatorama]
Look, these things are adorable, and incredibly clever, and I could never make anything half as entertaining. Hats off to the creator. But if a guy on a date leaned over the table and whispered, 'I make the heads of little felt animals and hang them from my walls,' I would be the girl running screaming into the night. I'm judgmental like that. However, if someone BOUGHT this for me, I'd laugh and be charmed. That's kind of hypocritical, yes? Too bad, I'll be the one with feltidermy and you with NOTHING.
YouTube Wonders
* I can't decide if I like this because it's actually funny, or because it proves that there are people out there willing to dress up as Rorschach:
Frankly, I don't care. BEANS. And KITTIES.
WhedonVerse - New Category!
* And the categories NEVER STOP. Anyway, Anthony Stewart Head is a MEAN MAN. First he's in Repo! The Genetic Opera making me feel uncomfortable for having sexy feelings towards Giles, and now he's talking about how shitty a non-Whedon Buffy movie would be AND acting like there's going to be a Giles spin-off, when that will never happen, for so many reasons, mainly because the universe HATES US ALL. Mr. Head, STOP. WE CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS. QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART (with my heart). Or make the damn spin-off, and kill of my favorite character, the end.
Depression Session
* This is an article on canning you own food. My grandmother used to do this, back when everyone was poor and you had to walk fifteen miles to school in the snow with no shoes on, uphill both ways. We will soon be like this again, only everyone will be Tweeting about how THEIR hill is the steepest and THEIR snow is the coldest, and someone will post pictures on Flickr of their frostbite. This article is actually kind of silly, because it presupposes that people will still have food to can. Canned food is also handy to have around during a zombie apocalypse, when running to the grocery store for food will become an Extreme Sport of Death.
Girly Shit
* These are utterly ridiculous:
[Found at IncredibleThings]
Have you ever tried walking on the beach in high heels? I have, at summer parties, and I have to say, it is a death trap. You can break your damn ankle. And doom upon you if you dare to have a drink. You will fall down and die, or sink into the sand and flip backwards, and nobody will help you because you look like a total asshole and you will totally deserve their mockery. And what if you are swimming in these babies, and the heel gets caught on something, and you drown? How embarrassing would that be? 'Oh, she died because her scuba gear was humiliating.'
However, I might pay money to see some celebrity - Paris Hilton, perhaps? - trying to run around looking sexy in these things.
Tattoo Of Win
* This is the worst kind of brilliant:
[Found at WorldsBestEver]
And that is all for tonight. Good night, and good luck.
- LV
* The above title comes from the brilliant pen of Terry Pratchett, maker of all things good and the God of Delights in the Pantheon of Gods. Other Gods may include:
* Alan Moore - God of Chaos & Wisdom & Grappling Hooks
* Joan Didion - Goddess of Introspection & Bumming Everyone Out
* Joss Whedon - God of Quips & Killing My Favorite Characters
* Patti Smith - Goddess of Language & Covers & New Jersey
* Hunter S. Thompson - God of This Blog & Anything Else He Wants To Be The Goddamn God Of
* Margaret Atwood - Goddess of Blowing Your Mind While Teaching You Important Lessons About Society
* Warren Ellis - God of Technology & Creative Curses
* Noam Chomsky - God of All Media
* Howard Zinn - God of History
* J.K. Rowling - Goddess of Latin & Franchises & Killing My Favorite Characters (there can be two, if I want)
There are many more gods in my atheistic multiverse, depending on my mood, but I don't feel like listing them all, unless someone asks nicely, then I probably will. There are minor gods, too. Michael Bay is the Minor God of Big Loud Explosions.
You have to be a writer to be a Major god. Writers create. Sorry, them's the rules. That I just made up.
Watchmen
* I am sort of torn between anticipation and dread when it comes to the edited for TV version of Watchmen. If it's a flawless editing process that does no shame to the movie, I will be happy. If it is as bad as From Dusk Till Dawn (where they must have used women to dub over Clooney & Tarantino) or Snakes On A Plane (which is somehow even funnier without the cursing), it will be worthy of a drinking game, and there will be rejoicing. But what if it's only kind of crappy? What if it's just, dare I say, eh? Then someone will have to be smited. At least FX didn't get the rights. Also, what kind of deal involves both Watchmen AND Ghosts of Girlfriends Past? One with SATAN.
Technology
* This kind of freaks me out, although I honestly can't say why:
[Found at Wired]
It's a flat light-bulb that uses LED and a battery to light up. Not scary at all, right? Quite clever, actually. And yet it makes me leery, like this is the first step of infiltration from some awful two-dimensional world, the kind Stephen King would have written about back when he was still scary. Or if you spend any time around this bulb, things start to look flat, then everything but you looks flat, and you're trapped in some awful world where nothing is real but you, and you jump out a window, but it's flat, and fall to your gruesome death on the (flat) pavement. I am certain I'm the only person who feels this way.
WTF, INTERNET?
[Found at WorldOfWonder]
I am not offended by this clock. I simply cannot stop staring at the swinging cow-balls. I know they are not swinging ONSCREEN, but they are out there, in the world, and they are swinging to keep time. Cow-balls. Think about it. Imagine if these were in every office in the world. Nobody would ever get any work done. They are fascinating on some basic human level, and terrifying in their pendulous swinging. Plus, it's funny to imagine someone explaining this work to their friends: "OK, it's a cow clock, right? But - here's the brilliant bit - THE BALLS SWING. Isn't that geniu- Hey, where are you going?"
Zombies
* Yes, this Wired article is about corporate zombies, not REAL zombies. I do know that. But corporate zombies are scary in their own way, and what if this is all an elaborate cover to explain when the REAL zombies show up, huh? Didn't think of THAT, did you?
Animals
* File this under, 'I Could Not Possibly Love Someone Who Ever Did This, With A Few Notable Exceptions:'
[Found at Neatorama]
Look, these things are adorable, and incredibly clever, and I could never make anything half as entertaining. Hats off to the creator. But if a guy on a date leaned over the table and whispered, 'I make the heads of little felt animals and hang them from my walls,' I would be the girl running screaming into the night. I'm judgmental like that. However, if someone BOUGHT this for me, I'd laugh and be charmed. That's kind of hypocritical, yes? Too bad, I'll be the one with feltidermy and you with NOTHING.
YouTube Wonders
* I can't decide if I like this because it's actually funny, or because it proves that there are people out there willing to dress up as Rorschach:
Frankly, I don't care. BEANS. And KITTIES.
WhedonVerse - New Category!
* And the categories NEVER STOP. Anyway, Anthony Stewart Head is a MEAN MAN. First he's in Repo! The Genetic Opera making me feel uncomfortable for having sexy feelings towards Giles, and now he's talking about how shitty a non-Whedon Buffy movie would be AND acting like there's going to be a Giles spin-off, when that will never happen, for so many reasons, mainly because the universe HATES US ALL. Mr. Head, STOP. WE CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS. QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART (with my heart). Or make the damn spin-off, and kill of my favorite character, the end.
Depression Session
* This is an article on canning you own food. My grandmother used to do this, back when everyone was poor and you had to walk fifteen miles to school in the snow with no shoes on, uphill both ways. We will soon be like this again, only everyone will be Tweeting about how THEIR hill is the steepest and THEIR snow is the coldest, and someone will post pictures on Flickr of their frostbite. This article is actually kind of silly, because it presupposes that people will still have food to can. Canned food is also handy to have around during a zombie apocalypse, when running to the grocery store for food will become an Extreme Sport of Death.
Girly Shit
* These are utterly ridiculous:
[Found at IncredibleThings]
Have you ever tried walking on the beach in high heels? I have, at summer parties, and I have to say, it is a death trap. You can break your damn ankle. And doom upon you if you dare to have a drink. You will fall down and die, or sink into the sand and flip backwards, and nobody will help you because you look like a total asshole and you will totally deserve their mockery. And what if you are swimming in these babies, and the heel gets caught on something, and you drown? How embarrassing would that be? 'Oh, she died because her scuba gear was humiliating.'
However, I might pay money to see some celebrity - Paris Hilton, perhaps? - trying to run around looking sexy in these things.
Tattoo Of Win
* This is the worst kind of brilliant:
[Found at WorldsBestEver]
And that is all for tonight. Good night, and good luck.
- LV
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