Thursday, June 18, 2009

It's Toe-Tappingly Tragic!

Blog
* Title comes from Futurama, giving the greatest compliment any being can ever hope for.

* This may be a short and ill-tempered entry, for which I apologize.

Remake!Fail
* On one hand, I am relieved they are putting off the remake of The Birds, because I'm still not over Gus Van Sant's butchering of Psycho (WHY WAS THERE A COW?), and frankly the medical bills would be unbelievable. (Although, parenthetically, we need to talk about how the guys behind the remake were all, 'Birds poop and they aren't scary,' because clearly they did not GET The Birds, which still ranks as one of the most terrifying freaking movies I have ever seen, and I was frightened of birds for YEARS after, also because I am a coward)
On the other hand, they are still remaking Rosemary's Baby, but I'm sort of OK with it at this point, because I think the final product is going to be so far removed from the book or the movie, and they've renamed it, so only people who care about movies will be damaged emotionally, thus saving the general population this torture. And doesn't the name The Sacrifice sort of have nothing to do with the original plot, or am I missing something?

Star Trek
* Talk about dizzying excitement turning to crushing disappointment turning to sullen defiance. These are Star Trek communicator apps (Excitement!) for iPhone which I do not have (Disappointment) but my father does (Defiance!) and I could steal it (Excitement!) but apparently it isn't very good (Disappointment) but I don't care because I am won over by branding (Defiance), and it's an AWESOME CONCEPT:

[Found at Geekologie]
Zachary Quinto is so upset by this crappy app that he's no longer dressing like the cool drink of water he is, and is instead dressing like an old man at the gym:


TeeVee
* Reality TV stars demanding, and receiving, overtime pay. This means either
A) I too can expect to be paid for flirting with hot guys, getting drunk, and behaving like the opposite of civilization, or
B) The Third Horseman of the Apocalypse just showed up, and he is PISSED.

Journalism
* The New York Times is just digging itself right into a hole of outdatedness, with this article about abandoned blogs. Please. In high school, when I was full of angst and rage and self-righteous indignation, I had about ten LiveJournals, all of them discussing the various injustices visited upon me by my parents and teachers and authority, and damn it I can live my own life! So this isn't new, or cool, or whatever. And you know what? This blog is coming on two years old. And while I have taken breaks from time to time, long-time readers will know I've been blogging every day for quite some time, and I KEEP IT UP, and I have a Twitter and still blog. So in conclusion, The New York Times is wrong about EVERYTHING, thank you for your time.
And, because this BARELY qualifies as journalism, like when senile old people drool on themselves and mumble about Zoinist conspiracies, and you tell people you had 'a nice chat,' here is The Daily Show exposing what hypocritical horndogs work at Fox & Friends, because really I love The Daily Show, and they are frequently right and wise.

Geek Want
* This T-Shirt is so badass, it may be illegal in some of the lamer states:

[Found at BoingBoing]
And it's TRUE, and I love it, but realistically, wouldn't it help the DIY industry more if you made your own version of this shirt? No? I... I should just be quiet? But... I.... You know, DIY would imply that Doing It Yourself would be good.... I should stop talking? OOH, COFFEE!

Daily Hot Guy

[Bruno, giving us all sexual confusion for years to come]

Politics
* HAHA, here's proof that abortion protestors are disingenuous, in case you doubted it. Actually, the article is pretty fucked up and disturbing, on a lot of levels. People are AWFUL. Boo on people. This coffee isn't working.

Apocalypse How?
* Scientists woke up 120,000 year old bacteria, and it is CRANKY, and now we're all going to die. The article mentions Jurassic Park, but fuck that, what about The Thing? If Kurt Russell has trouble with those bastards, what hope do the rest of us have? WHERE'S BRUCE CAMPBELL?

Words of Win
"When my daughter Ellen was four I started teasing her that I was saving all of my boogers in a big booger ball. I don’t know why I told her that except that it was fun to watch her make that “grossed-out” face that kids make when they smell something bad or see a squished cat on the road. She always begged to see it so finally I told her that she couldn’t see it now but I would give it to her for her eighteenth birthday. Well, guess what – she’s turning eighteen and I’ve got to come through with a booger ball!"

And he did!


[Found at Neatorama]

WTF, Internet?
* This makes me angry the same way that those jars with the pre-mixed peanut butter and jelly make me angry. They are unnecessary, and help to lower the overall IQ of society, and really, I want to HIT people with these:

[Found at UniqueDaily]
Note: The following conversation occurred with my mother, upon her seeing the pictures:
"Look how ridiculous this thing is!"
"AHAHAHAHA"
"Stop laughing! You're ruining my point!"
"They sell those at Stop & Shop."
"You're making it WORSE!"

Zombies
* Zombie parties, zombie movies, zombie parades, and zombie confusion - all in one deceptively short post! Also, this was submitted by reader Julie, who has a horde of zombies that she sics on those who aggravate her:

I can't wait for Valentine's Day!

Animals
* Baby moose Baby Moose BABY MOOSE!

[Found at LATimes]
I want a baby moose. I would name it Walter. You know why. And I would love my baby moose, and raise it, and teach it right and wrong, and feed it sugar cubes, and the sun would come out and peace would reign.

Sorry for the brevity of this entry, and the general sour mood. Too many relatives talking at me. And I have to go into work early today. So yeah. Sulking will commence. May post another entry later.
- LV

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Blog Archive