Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Alan Moore Auditioned For The Role Of Dumbledore In The 'Harry Potter' Movies. Producers Sent Him On His Way before Realizing He Was A Real Wizard.

Survey Results
* I was, as I've said before, surprised and pleased by my survey results:
- Jackie Earle Haley: 46 (59%)
- Zachary Quinto: 20 (25%)
- David Tennant: 19 (24%)
- Hunter S. Thompson: 18 (16%)
- Hugh Laurie: 18 (23%)
- Christopher Eccleston: 9 (11 %)
- Quentin Tarantino: 9 (11%)
- Russell Brand: 7 (9%)
- Chris Pine: 7 (8%)

I really did think Pine was going to sweep. People LOVE him (and while he's not my favorite On the Enterprise, I wouldn't say no). So, look below in the Daily Hot Guy for your winner, Mr. Jackie Earle Haley, in all his glory. No, not NAKED glory. Perverts. Also, couldn't find any such pictures. WHAT?

The next survey, which I'm sure will snap a few brains because it is HARD, is up, and it's all about Joss Whedon, partly because I'm still delighted Dollhouse wasn't cancelled, and partly because of these disgusting Buffy movie rumors I will scream about later. I myself am abstaining from voting, or explaining WHO I would vote for, until the end of the survey. If you want to explain your vote, or just talk about your Whedon-love, you can post in the comments, or Email me at elle.veev@gmail.com. Whedonverse!

Animals
* Here is a picture of a tiger cub and a puppy. Cute animals are cute. And apparently, this will get you through Hump Day:

[Found at http://jezebel.com]

Depression Session
* If you are anything like me, you drink untold GALLONS of coffee on a daily basis, in the vain attempt to make the morning a little more tolerable, and reduce the number of casualties brought on by people TALKING TO YOU before you're awake. Coffee is GOOD. But that leads to coffee grounds, and no matter how much you love coffee, eating them is unpleasant and harmful to your teeth. So, what do you do with your old coffee grounds? Especially when you have less money and feel guilty throwing ANYTHING away? You use them to get rid of fleas and clean your dishes, because there is nothing coffee cannot do.

Girly Shit
* This was sent to me by reader Julie, who seems hell-bent on making me even more depressed about all the pretty clothes I NEED TO LIVE and cannot afford. She sent me a TON of links, no doubt laughing cruelly at my desire for shoes and handbags and THAT SHIRT, but this pretty much sums up my clothes lust:

[Found at PlasticLand]
And, as I have discussed with Julie, who should BUY me these things because they are CUTE, the name of this store makes me think of either a children's toy store/theme park, or a really twisted sex shop.

Tattoo Of WIn
* Oh, David Cross, dump your pretty actress girlfriend and marry me and imitate Tobias Funke, and explain your tattoo over and over:

That would make me truly happy. Who DOESN'T love David Cross, and tattoos? COMMUNISTS, that's who. Actually, that's a total lie, Communists are wise and cool people who would love this shit as much as anyone. I'm sorry I misled you all.

Food
* These are tiny little melons, 3/4 of an inch long. They are the cutest fruit EVER, putting kiwis to SHAME:

[Found at SlashFood]
I don't really like melons, and I would not eat them most likely. But I want them. I want to offer them to friends, and have a goddamn bowl of them on my table. TINY MELONS. Why am I so enamored with these things? Answer: THEY ARE AWESOME.

Comics
* When I first discovered comics, I was really into Jhonen Vasquez and Roman Dirge. I thought they were the beginning and end of the medium. I was clearly naive, and learned that through the righteous power and unholy wisdom of being given Watchmen. I still LIKE Vasquez and Dirge (less Vasquez, as of late, because Jellyfist was disappointing/confusing, and I'm still a little bothered by it), but I've expanded my reading list considerably. Anyway, Roman Dirge has signed a deal with Titan that will bring more Lenore into all our lives, and I am quite thrilled with these developments.

[Found at Newsarama]
Titan Books has published such wonders as Watchmen companions, and Kevin Smith's awesome biography. JERSEY WIN.

Daily Hot Guy
* You voted for him, you got him, we all love him (Note: No pictures of Haley as Rorschach, because that will inevitably be a separate entry.)










[Jackie Earle Haley, AKA Rorschach, AKA Walter Kovacs, AKA Ronnie, AKA Sugar Boy, AKA Kelly Leek, AKA That Dude From Those Movies, AKA SHAFTED For An Oscar, proving that short people are indeed made entirely out of awesome]

Words Of Win

[Found at FrigginRandom]

Movies
* Thomas Lennon is coming for you, and he's going to punch you in the dick if you like Twilight. I find this right and just, and since I lack the equipment to be bothered by any of this, I completely support him and his dick-punching campaign.

Stupid People - New Category
* Hey, remember when I posted aboout CockBibs, and how the creator must be a horrible, sex-starved person? It's hard, being right all the time. No, actually, it's AWESOME being right. Here he is, yelling at Jezebel writers and commenters for failing to comprehend the awesome majesty of his blowjob product. My favorite quote?
What is this shit? I created the CockBib.... and this is the mutherfucking thanks I get?

And this:
I have never seen such unladylike like behavior in my life.
Although this shows I was clearly wrong, and that he understands the pain of women, understands our need to be dominated by stupid men who make up LAME and not-funny novelty gifts:
I understand that you guys may not be completely happy with your lives. Some of you are single and lonely, some of you are married and unhappy, some of you are divorced or headed there. Some of you are lesbians which if you are not outwardly comfortable, can be dificult! Shit, some of you might be happily married but just feel the need to bitch about something!

It's... it's like he knows my SOUL. Teach me more, wise teacher-man:
Also, please tell the following readers I said fuck you!

pursedangler: fuck you

ichago18: fuck you

andbegorrah: fuck you

Ibleedglitter: you're cool

and natekyswhoreskidsister: fuck you

I am out!

Oh, to be Ibleedglitter, and have gotten those two simple words of utter endorsement and validation from a mental titan. Seriously, CockBib Dude? Calm the fuck down. It will be OK. Someone out there will buy this, most likely a dude with NO sense of humor, and end his day in the hospital, wondering A) why his girlfriend wasn't touched by his thoughtfulness, and B) whether it's possible to unbend a penis.

I'm out.
- LV

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