Life
* Mondays suck, rainy Mondays really suck, rainy Mondays where your getting yelled at but you're not listening because the coffee hasn't kicked in yet... pretty normal, actually.
Bad Life Choices
* I'm not CERTAIN, but if you don't want your boyfriend to drive anywhere drunk, there might be a better option than repeatedly ramming his car with your car, while your kids shriek in terror in the backseat. No judgement, but... yeah. This would not be the first idea that came to mind, if I were in that situation. Even shooting out his tires would have worked better.
O.M.G.
* I am loving real-life superheroes. And now there will be supervillians, and soon a giant squid will DESTROY everything you love, and I am totally comfortable with life imitating art, so long as it is art I like, and not Twilight.
Swine Flu
* This 28 Days Later-ing of Swine Flu is closer to the truth than I would like.
I'm pretty sure this has already happened in California.
UnCategorized
* This was hard to categorize, as you will see. These are puppies that glow in the dark. Beagle puppies.
[Found at BoingBoing]
No, really, listen: They put a sea anemone gene in the beagle puppies, and now they glow in the dark. On one hand, GLOW IN THE DARK PUPPIES FTW. Because seriously, awesome. On the other, are we really exerting time, energy, and money, on making our pets fluorescent? Because we kind of have a few issues that might require your attention? No? You need to make cats that stick to things next? OK. Then I will take your mutant puppy supply, for further research. And give them ALL stupid names like 'Lite-Brite.'
Hipsters
* Did you know making fun of hipsters makes you just as bad as them only worse actually, because they have elaborate hair and makeup and irony, and you are just jealous and insecure? I lived in the East Village, hub and mecca of hipsterdom. I have, at times, lived with hipsters. I know several personally. I do not mind them, any more than I mind any group. I mind the ones that would yell at me for being a 'pawn of the system' for liking Green Day, or calling me a 'suburban tool' and then flounce off to Starbucks and their parent's penthouses. You want to have insane hair? Go for it. I like your hair. But shut the fuck up, leave me alone, and I'll do the same, OK? A cease-fire is in order between the Hipsters and Everyone Else. Also, you like Lady Gaga, which i INEXCUSABLE.
Want
* Michel Gondry, director of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and gentle alien, is selling caricatures for $20 and reasons I will never comprehend. And toilet rolls. This is TRUE. You can buy Michel Gondry toilet paper. I don't even understand this at all, but I must make these things mine, just so I can end arguments with, 'Well, I have Michel Gondry toilet paper.' 'What?' 'Exactly. I win. Fuck you.' Then I mace then and run off into the night.
Remake Fail
* OK, I like James Marsden because A) He's very attractive, even if he does look UNCANNILY like my ex-boyfriend, which is sometimes awkward, B) He was adorable beyond words in Enchanted and can actually sing quite well, C) He made me like Cyclops, despite X-Men's best efforts to make me HATE him. But we do not need a remake of Straw Dogs. I'm not saying it won't be interesting, or that Marsden isn't a good actor (I think he might be a little underrated, maybe because he insists on sometimes being in shit). I'm saying this is a movie we do not need. Dustin Hoffman is not going to be pleased, and as well all learned from Watchmen, short people are the WORST kind of people to fuck with.
Movies
* I had such a huge crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt when he was in such things as 3rd Rock From the Sun and 10 Things I Hate About You, and I'm very pleased he morphed into a Sirious Akter with Mysterious Skin, Brick, and The Lookout. And Chris Nolan is Chris 'I made the goddamn Dark Knight' Nolan. So no bad can come from this movie, ever. Also, they both worked with Heath Ledger. Weird, right?
Team Campbell
* I am officially a Campbellian in the war against William Shatner (see Shatner Quake for details). Why? My leader has a big chin, AND he kills evil dead, AND he kicks the cojones of Duran Duran. That's why, my friends. That's why.
Yeah, he should start a real cult. I'd join it.
Moment of Win
See More Demotivational Posters
Comics
* Starstruck, one of the best comics you've never heard of, is coming back into print. Rejoice, and buy.
Politics
* Joe Biden will be leaving our diseased shores, to protect him from the angry Public Transportation Armada, who is pissed that our Vice President thinks that maybe you should avoid cramped spaces with sick people. I love this because everyone freaked out, except Joe Biden, who doesn't give a shit.
TwiHate
* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, I'm sorry, but this is fucking PRICELESS. The dude paid to direct Eclipse, part who gives a crap of the Twilight abomination, mocked the series. How great is that? Even people PAID to like this shit, or at least pretend, cannot contain their bile for this douchery! This almost - ALMOST - makes me want to see this. Because maybe he'll sabotage it. Like, I don't know, hire me to do the special effects, or get Rob Zombie's wife to play a nun, or something. I have ideas, David Slade! Call me!
WTF, INTERNET?
* This looks like something for a colon search. A colon search from HELL. Dick Cheney's colon search. It frightens me. You are NOT getting near me with one of those. It's a microscope and a flashlight, which would be incredibly useful in a number of situations, but does it HAVE to look like something Dr. Giggles would make?
[Found at CrunchGear]
Also it has a USB interface, so you can torture someone's organs, then upload the video to YouTube.
Time to go to work!
- LV
* Mondays suck, rainy Mondays really suck, rainy Mondays where your getting yelled at but you're not listening because the coffee hasn't kicked in yet... pretty normal, actually.
Bad Life Choices
* I'm not CERTAIN, but if you don't want your boyfriend to drive anywhere drunk, there might be a better option than repeatedly ramming his car with your car, while your kids shriek in terror in the backseat. No judgement, but... yeah. This would not be the first idea that came to mind, if I were in that situation. Even shooting out his tires would have worked better.
O.M.G.
* I am loving real-life superheroes. And now there will be supervillians, and soon a giant squid will DESTROY everything you love, and I am totally comfortable with life imitating art, so long as it is art I like, and not Twilight.
Swine Flu
* This 28 Days Later-ing of Swine Flu is closer to the truth than I would like.
Day 23
I’m weaker every day, but I only slightly regret locking us in this building without food or water. A few more employees were (probably) infected with the virus, so I reluctantly dispatched them and even more reluctantly made a series of hats. I am the slayer of the infected, destroyer of the lost souls and manufacturer of fancy face hats. All those infected will run when they see me, because I’m so hella good at killing them.
I'm pretty sure this has already happened in California.
UnCategorized
* This was hard to categorize, as you will see. These are puppies that glow in the dark. Beagle puppies.
[Found at BoingBoing]
No, really, listen: They put a sea anemone gene in the beagle puppies, and now they glow in the dark. On one hand, GLOW IN THE DARK PUPPIES FTW. Because seriously, awesome. On the other, are we really exerting time, energy, and money, on making our pets fluorescent? Because we kind of have a few issues that might require your attention? No? You need to make cats that stick to things next? OK. Then I will take your mutant puppy supply, for further research. And give them ALL stupid names like 'Lite-Brite.'
Hipsters
* Did you know making fun of hipsters makes you just as bad as them only worse actually, because they have elaborate hair and makeup and irony, and you are just jealous and insecure? I lived in the East Village, hub and mecca of hipsterdom. I have, at times, lived with hipsters. I know several personally. I do not mind them, any more than I mind any group. I mind the ones that would yell at me for being a 'pawn of the system' for liking Green Day, or calling me a 'suburban tool' and then flounce off to Starbucks and their parent's penthouses. You want to have insane hair? Go for it. I like your hair. But shut the fuck up, leave me alone, and I'll do the same, OK? A cease-fire is in order between the Hipsters and Everyone Else. Also, you like Lady Gaga, which i INEXCUSABLE.
Want
* Michel Gondry, director of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and gentle alien, is selling caricatures for $20 and reasons I will never comprehend. And toilet rolls. This is TRUE. You can buy Michel Gondry toilet paper. I don't even understand this at all, but I must make these things mine, just so I can end arguments with, 'Well, I have Michel Gondry toilet paper.' 'What?' 'Exactly. I win. Fuck you.' Then I mace then and run off into the night.
Remake Fail
* OK, I like James Marsden because A) He's very attractive, even if he does look UNCANNILY like my ex-boyfriend, which is sometimes awkward, B) He was adorable beyond words in Enchanted and can actually sing quite well, C) He made me like Cyclops, despite X-Men's best efforts to make me HATE him. But we do not need a remake of Straw Dogs. I'm not saying it won't be interesting, or that Marsden isn't a good actor (I think he might be a little underrated, maybe because he insists on sometimes being in shit). I'm saying this is a movie we do not need. Dustin Hoffman is not going to be pleased, and as well all learned from Watchmen, short people are the WORST kind of people to fuck with.
Movies
* I had such a huge crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt when he was in such things as 3rd Rock From the Sun and 10 Things I Hate About You, and I'm very pleased he morphed into a Sirious Akter with Mysterious Skin, Brick, and The Lookout. And Chris Nolan is Chris 'I made the goddamn Dark Knight' Nolan. So no bad can come from this movie, ever. Also, they both worked with Heath Ledger. Weird, right?
Team Campbell
* I am officially a Campbellian in the war against William Shatner (see Shatner Quake for details). Why? My leader has a big chin, AND he kills evil dead, AND he kicks the cojones of Duran Duran. That's why, my friends. That's why.
Yeah, he should start a real cult. I'd join it.
Moment of Win
See More Demotivational Posters
Comics
* Starstruck, one of the best comics you've never heard of, is coming back into print. Rejoice, and buy.
Politics
* Joe Biden will be leaving our diseased shores, to protect him from the angry Public Transportation Armada, who is pissed that our Vice President thinks that maybe you should avoid cramped spaces with sick people. I love this because everyone freaked out, except Joe Biden, who doesn't give a shit.
TwiHate
* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, I'm sorry, but this is fucking PRICELESS. The dude paid to direct Eclipse, part who gives a crap of the Twilight abomination, mocked the series. How great is that? Even people PAID to like this shit, or at least pretend, cannot contain their bile for this douchery! This almost - ALMOST - makes me want to see this. Because maybe he'll sabotage it. Like, I don't know, hire me to do the special effects, or get Rob Zombie's wife to play a nun, or something. I have ideas, David Slade! Call me!
WTF, INTERNET?
* This looks like something for a colon search. A colon search from HELL. Dick Cheney's colon search. It frightens me. You are NOT getting near me with one of those. It's a microscope and a flashlight, which would be incredibly useful in a number of situations, but does it HAVE to look like something Dr. Giggles would make?
[Found at CrunchGear]
Also it has a USB interface, so you can torture someone's organs, then upload the video to YouTube.
Time to go to work!
- LV
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