Life* I'm posting again today, because tomorrow I have to get up early to get to BookExpo America. What is that, you ask? IT IS GLORIOUS. And I get to go for work. There will be free stuff, and authors like Joyce Carol Oates and A.J. Jacobs and Chuck Klosterman and Neil Gaiman and China Mieville and Joey Buttafuco's wife.... um.... and Gennifer Choldenko and Jane Yolen. JANE FREAKING YOLEN. I worshipped her as a child. She was like God to me. And I'll be in the same room as her. So that's why I won't be posting tomorrow morning, unless I get up super early and am perky and alert. Which is unlikely. If I can, I will be a total tourist and take pictures of everything and shame myself and my employers. Here's hoping.Depression Session* In the future, we will all be nomads. We will roam the destroyed and barren wastelands looking for food, shelter, and sexy leather jackets. The lucky ones will have motorcycles and rifles and the keys to the grocery stores. The rest of us will make do with what we can scavenge in this dark new world. The smart ones, however, will have bikes with tiny gardens on them:[Found at BoingBoing]OK, first of all, there is no way that tiny garden could sustain any life whatsoever. Unless you can live off of dill, you are in trouble. Try growing carrots or potatoes in that baby, and you will end up with nothing. I'd like to see someone try it with corn, though. Second, as the article says, I'd feel really dumb falling off this bike. Not only would you get scratched to shit, you'd get dirt everywhere, and KILL your pathetic little garden. Then you can sit in the deserted center of an abandoned city, covered in dirt, and cry over your tragic little garden.Girly Shit* I find this to be an utterly repulsive color for nail polish:[Found at MakeupAndBeautyBlog]And even if I didn't chew my nails down to sad little nubs that make people grimace, I would never willingly associate with such a shade. To paraphrase Mean Girls, 'They remind me of a baby prostitute.' That was a good movie. And in the time before Lindsay Lohan became a sort of sad joke. She'd wear this nail polish. Think about it.Tattoo Of Win[Found at LOLTATZ]As my friend brilliantly put it, "Imagine getting up in the middle of the night to pee, sitting down, and seeing those faces grinning up at you."Food* Oh. My. God:[Found at ThisIsWhyYoureFat]You think those are just French fries, don't you? Oh, how wrong you are. Those are donut French fries with raspberry jelly and Bavarian cream dipping sauces. Those are the most perfect desert food ever. I want to serve this at my wedding. I want to get married JUST to eat this. I want a wedding cake made out of these. Where do I GET these things?Comics* I am a fan of
, mostly because of Alan Rickman and his Sexy Glare And Sneering Attitude Towards All That Cross His Path. I mean, the movie was fun and great and Bruce Willis is a compulsively watchable actor when he isn't straining himself, and it has one of the best lines ever, which I'm not saying because it's oversaid, people. And now they're making a comic of John McClane's early years. They've got an impressive team behind this comic, and as long as they don't allow McClane to become a caricature like the later Die Hard movies, this could be good. And I am IGNORING the bit below which contains information on Megan Fox AND Diablo Cody, neither of whom I like. Words Of Winsee more Fail BlogJackie Earle Haley* The recent winner of my Daily Hot Guy survey (and proud he is, I'm sure, wearing the Freddy costume for
:[Found at JoBlo]There are more images here, but let's not kid ourselves. The ones of Mr. Haley in costume are the only ones we care about AT ALL.Movies* Um....[Found at WorldOfWonder]Joseph Gordon-Levitt, AKA the love of my life when he was on Third Rock From The Sun and when I was young enough to think that comedy began and ended with Third Rock, is filming a movie. Isn't that nice? He was quite good in Mysterious Skin, and Brick. He's a good actor. Myep. That he is. I am not paying ANY attention to what I'm typing right now.Stupid People* In the course of one day, I have gone from having absolutely no opinion whatsoever about Kanye West to thinking he is a stupid, pretentious asshole who needs to learn to shut his mouth. He doesn't read. He is PROUD that he doesn't read. Because, you know, books keep you from doing things. THEY HOLD YOU DOWN, MAN. THEY RUIN LIVES. I knew this girl, was going to be a doctor, read a book, BANG, dead from a drug overdose. AIRTIGHT LOGIC. Oh, by the way, did Kanye mention he wrote a book? And would like you to buy it? You don't have to read it at all, just give him your money. It's filled with 'Kanye-isms,' WHICH HE CALLS THEM. Don't worry, it's short, so you don't have to waste any of your life where you could be doing EXTREME LIVING on actually reading and processing information and thoughts. Some of the pages are entirely blank, too, so that makes it less of a book, so it barely counts. IT'S TIGHT. Heroes* This makes up for most of the very bad second season, and reminds me why Sylar=Life.Oh, fine, here's one for you Peter Petrelli Emo Lovers, too. I am so generous sometimes.Books* Harlan Ellison loves Doctor Who, is a brilliant writer, and could kill you all with his pinky finger if he felt like it, and you are lucky he doesn't, because he is one of the Olde Gods, and look on his work ye mighty, and despair.Star Trek* There are no coincidences, as Albert Einstein and V both said (and one was quoting the other, but let's not get into that). Except on the set of the new Star Trek movie. Then, there are nothing but coincidences. Although really, J.J. Abrams, if people want to think you're more clever than you actually are, why would you dissuade them?Journalism* I have a myriad of issues with Vice magazine, mostly due to spending years in college arguing with people over whether it counted as journalism, or endless masturbation. Well, I put it under this subject heading, so they should be happy. Here is proof that Vice is nothing but a tool, and not even a good tool, a self-wanking machine, if you will. On the other hand, I love the idea of jaded intellectual hipsters reading this article and being shocked, just SHOCKED, that Vice is, like, a cog in the MACHINE, man. Far out.I'm done yelling, for the moment. - LV
, mostly because of Alan Rickman and his Sexy Glare And Sneering Attitude Towards All That Cross His Path. I mean, the movie was fun and great and Bruce Willis is a compulsively watchable actor when he isn't straining himself, and it has one of the best lines ever, which I'm not saying because it's oversaid, people. And now they're making a comic of John McClane's early years. They've got an impressive team behind this comic, and as long as they don't allow McClane to become a caricature like the later Die Hard movies, this could be good. And I am IGNORING the bit below which contains information on Megan Fox AND Diablo Cody, neither of whom I like. Words Of Winsee more Fail BlogJackie Earle Haley* The recent winner of my Daily Hot Guy survey (and proud he is, I'm sure, wearing the Freddy costume for
:[Found at JoBlo]There are more images here, but let's not kid ourselves. The ones of Mr. Haley in costume are the only ones we care about AT ALL.Movies* Um....[Found at WorldOfWonder]Joseph Gordon-Levitt, AKA the love of my life when he was on Third Rock From The Sun and when I was young enough to think that comedy began and ended with Third Rock, is filming a movie. Isn't that nice? He was quite good in Mysterious Skin, and Brick. He's a good actor. Myep. That he is. I am not paying ANY attention to what I'm typing right now.Stupid People* In the course of one day, I have gone from having absolutely no opinion whatsoever about Kanye West to thinking he is a stupid, pretentious asshole who needs to learn to shut his mouth. He doesn't read. He is PROUD that he doesn't read. Because, you know, books keep you from doing things. THEY HOLD YOU DOWN, MAN. THEY RUIN LIVES. I knew this girl, was going to be a doctor, read a book, BANG, dead from a drug overdose. AIRTIGHT LOGIC. Oh, by the way, did Kanye mention he wrote a book? And would like you to buy it? You don't have to read it at all, just give him your money. It's filled with 'Kanye-isms,' WHICH HE CALLS THEM. Don't worry, it's short, so you don't have to waste any of your life where you could be doing EXTREME LIVING on actually reading and processing information and thoughts. Some of the pages are entirely blank, too, so that makes it less of a book, so it barely counts. IT'S TIGHT. Heroes* This makes up for most of the very bad second season, and reminds me why Sylar=Life.Oh, fine, here's one for you Peter Petrelli Emo Lovers, too. I am so generous sometimes.Books* Harlan Ellison loves Doctor Who, is a brilliant writer, and could kill you all with his pinky finger if he felt like it, and you are lucky he doesn't, because he is one of the Olde Gods, and look on his work ye mighty, and despair.Star Trek* There are no coincidences, as Albert Einstein and V both said (and one was quoting the other, but let's not get into that). Except on the set of the new Star Trek movie. Then, there are nothing but coincidences. Although really, J.J. Abrams, if people want to think you're more clever than you actually are, why would you dissuade them?Journalism* I have a myriad of issues with Vice magazine, mostly due to spending years in college arguing with people over whether it counted as journalism, or endless masturbation. Well, I put it under this subject heading, so they should be happy. Here is proof that Vice is nothing but a tool, and not even a good tool, a self-wanking machine, if you will. On the other hand, I love the idea of jaded intellectual hipsters reading this article and being shocked, just SHOCKED, that Vice is, like, a cog in the MACHINE, man. Far out.I'm done yelling, for the moment. - LV
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