Note: I'm posting again, now, because A) I am babysitting my little brother and am supremely bored since he has co-opted the TeeVee and some awful show involving penguins is blaring, B) Tomorrow's post will be All Comics to celebrate Free Comic Book Day, and then I will be OFF to comic joy, and C) After that I have to go to a party, so WHO KNOWS if I'll blog more than once tomorrow?
Watchmen
* This has nothing REALLY to do with Watchmen (except that ultimately everything does, because Alan Moore is a Wizard, AIRTIGHT LOGIC), but if I was a Nite Owl fan instead of a member of Rorschach's army, I would totally want one. Maybe I still do. There's a reason there's an OwlBlot community on LiveJournal, after all. But Watchmen geekery aside, these are frigging ADORABLE:
[Found at LifeHacker]
And I know a tubby ex-vigilante who will cry naked in the basement without one... (Note: This joke gets old NEVER.)
Stimulus
* I was sad today, because the newest installment of FreakAngels did not come out, and that is a good excuse to rock against the wall screaming. But I soldiered on, and was rewarded with pretty merchandise of sex. So, because buying a CAR was apparently not enough, I purchased this:
[Found at FreakAngels]
This may be the sexiest bag ever wrought by the hand of man. Warren Ellis and Alan Moore own most of me, at this point. And when I have to flee the crippling debt/Swine Flu/Zombie Apocalypse, I will take my car, my FreakAngels bag, and my tattoos (obviously), and I will have EVERYTHING I NEED. Except food, weapons, or a plan.
Torture
* Apparently if you are crazy-religious (not spiritual or normal religious, which is good and fine - I'm talking about the people who bomb abortion clinics and make insane teevee ads and, I don't know, chase you through malls screaming, "I'LL PRAY FOR YOU, SINNER" when you just wanted to go buy some goddamn JEANS) you are more likely to support torture. To quote the late, great Arrested Development, "That was a freebie."
Ads
* This ad does not make me want ice cream:
[Found at AdFreak]
It does, however, make me seriously reconsider a career in a nunnery.
Awful People
* First off, to get it out of the way, I dislike Denise Richards as much as it is possible to dislike a talentless famewhore you have never met and rarely think about unless she is thrust into your face, at which point you claw at your eyes to escape her sneering visage. Yeah, don't like the woman. And her singing is not softening my attitude towards her:
I watched this whole thing. I couldn't stop. If she threatens to record a whole album, Johnny Cash will rise from the grave and drop her in a volcano. Although some of the people's expressions as she sings are pretty funny, it's NOT ENOUGH.
Religion
* This is supposed to look like the Virgin Mary:
[Found at Chron]
To me, it looks like a boot. Or a penis. I'm sorry, but it had to be said. Or, as Rorschach would say, "Looks like nothing. Only what we impose upon image." Then he'd break fingers for all the health violations of letting people worship your griddle.
Depression Session
* Screw chicken coops:
[Found at Neatorama]
When the economy collapses, because of my car (I NEEDED IT FOR WORK, OK?! AND I'M FINANCING IT, AND TAKING ON A THIRD JOB WHY DO I FEEL SO GUILTY?) we will be LIVING in this freaking things. This will be like, the penthouse.
Girly Shit
* As a teenager, I loved Urban Decay makeup, even though it was expensive and pretty crappy, because it was cool colors and had names like 'Decay' and 'Angst,' which when you're sixteen and have blue hair is very important in your lipgloss choices. I'm twenty-three years old. I like to think I've grown up a lot, matured in fundamental ways. This is for sale:
[Found at MakeupAndBeautyBlog]
I know, I'm disappointed in me too.
Music
* Joe Strummer was the motherfucking man, and the world is a little less interesting since he passed on to Hunter Thompson territory. Here's a bunch of facts and images about the great man, and I second the suggestion that you go buy his post-clash stuff, because it is mind-bogglingly good.
TeeVee
* You know why they might cancel The Sarah Connor Chronicles? Cuz I like it. I actually rented the first disc today, just to watch it again at my leisure. It's a great show, and Summer Glau is WIN, and if I like a TV show, they cancel it. Fact. But maybe it's not too late to stop my bad luck from ruining this show. Go here, do what it says, and save Sarah, because if they make one more Felching With The Stars-type show, Swine Flu will be the least of our problems.
Tattoo Of Win
* "Mommy, what is the unicorn doing to the dolphin? Why is he hurting him so?"
[Found at LOLTATZ]
Books
* Here at FEAR & LOATHING, we do not endorse lying. It is Wrong, unless it is funny and more interesting than the Truth, and then it's OK. But I would not be a good person if I did not admit that I want to read this book more than any intellectually challenging tome I might have in front of me:
[Found at BoingBoing]
You ask me what it's about? My response is, 'Who the fuck cares? It's William Shatner. His last name is on the cover four times, in increasingly large letters in case you had ANY DOUBT about the topic of this book. And he fights every character he's ever played because there can only be on True Shatner, and a crazy cult that worships Bruce Campbell, which is true, as I am one of their Priestesses of King Hailing Babies, and sometimes things don't HAVE to make sense, they are just amazing, OK?
Food
* My mother buys this. It's in our fridge right now. I will not eat it.
The only food that comes out of a spray can is whipped cream, and I will not be swayed from this firm moral stance.
Moment of Win
* It's funny because it's true.
[Found at FunPic]
Zombies
* I TOLD YOU.
Movies
* I love Robin Hood, but really, unless Alan Rickman is going to be insane and screaming as the Sheriff, I'm not having it.
[Found at Empire]
Also, this looks suspiciously like Gladiator In Tights! Which would be an UNBELIEVABLE movie, actually, but I doubt that this one's going for that angle.
* I hope this is true, because Brett Ratner and Milli Vanilli have the exact same level of artistic talent.
* Michel Gondry does no wrong, ever. And when he joins forces with Steve Buscemi, gumdrops and vodka rain down from the skies.
* Dear Rob Zombie: Please stop making movies. This article sums up my attitude to the first Halloween, Only Not Scary In The Slightest remake. Unfortunately, I do not share his hope for the next one. Stop it. Michael Myers is getting PISSED.
WTF, INTERNET?
* Sweet Jesus' Donuts. This is a thing so girls can pee like guys. That is what this thing does. That is its purpose. PONDER that.
The instructions made me cry. You stick this thing in you, and you PEE. In public (well, in a restroom, I hope, but STILL). This is horrifying. This skeeves me out so bad. If one thing goes wrong with this, you end up drenched in your own urine. No product should EVER have that caveat. Look, public restrooms can be disgusting. I know this. But this should NEVER be an option. I'd rather my bladder BURST. Also, it's called the P-Mate. That upsets me as well.
Tomorrow: ALL COMICS ALL THE TIME
- LVada
Watchmen
* This has nothing REALLY to do with Watchmen (except that ultimately everything does, because Alan Moore is a Wizard, AIRTIGHT LOGIC), but if I was a Nite Owl fan instead of a member of Rorschach's army, I would totally want one. Maybe I still do. There's a reason there's an OwlBlot community on LiveJournal, after all. But Watchmen geekery aside, these are frigging ADORABLE:
[Found at LifeHacker]
And I know a tubby ex-vigilante who will cry naked in the basement without one... (Note: This joke gets old NEVER.)
Stimulus
* I was sad today, because the newest installment of FreakAngels did not come out, and that is a good excuse to rock against the wall screaming. But I soldiered on, and was rewarded with pretty merchandise of sex. So, because buying a CAR was apparently not enough, I purchased this:
[Found at FreakAngels]
This may be the sexiest bag ever wrought by the hand of man. Warren Ellis and Alan Moore own most of me, at this point. And when I have to flee the crippling debt/Swine Flu/Zombie Apocalypse, I will take my car, my FreakAngels bag, and my tattoos (obviously), and I will have EVERYTHING I NEED. Except food, weapons, or a plan.
Torture
* Apparently if you are crazy-religious (not spiritual or normal religious, which is good and fine - I'm talking about the people who bomb abortion clinics and make insane teevee ads and, I don't know, chase you through malls screaming, "I'LL PRAY FOR YOU, SINNER" when you just wanted to go buy some goddamn JEANS) you are more likely to support torture. To quote the late, great Arrested Development, "That was a freebie."
Ads
* This ad does not make me want ice cream:
[Found at AdFreak]
It does, however, make me seriously reconsider a career in a nunnery.
Awful People
* First off, to get it out of the way, I dislike Denise Richards as much as it is possible to dislike a talentless famewhore you have never met and rarely think about unless she is thrust into your face, at which point you claw at your eyes to escape her sneering visage. Yeah, don't like the woman. And her singing is not softening my attitude towards her:
I watched this whole thing. I couldn't stop. If she threatens to record a whole album, Johnny Cash will rise from the grave and drop her in a volcano. Although some of the people's expressions as she sings are pretty funny, it's NOT ENOUGH.
Religion
* This is supposed to look like the Virgin Mary:
[Found at Chron]
To me, it looks like a boot. Or a penis. I'm sorry, but it had to be said. Or, as Rorschach would say, "Looks like nothing. Only what we impose upon image." Then he'd break fingers for all the health violations of letting people worship your griddle.
Depression Session
* Screw chicken coops:
[Found at Neatorama]
When the economy collapses, because of my car (I NEEDED IT FOR WORK, OK?! AND I'M FINANCING IT, AND TAKING ON A THIRD JOB WHY DO I FEEL SO GUILTY?) we will be LIVING in this freaking things. This will be like, the penthouse.
Girly Shit
* As a teenager, I loved Urban Decay makeup, even though it was expensive and pretty crappy, because it was cool colors and had names like 'Decay' and 'Angst,' which when you're sixteen and have blue hair is very important in your lipgloss choices. I'm twenty-three years old. I like to think I've grown up a lot, matured in fundamental ways. This is for sale:
[Found at MakeupAndBeautyBlog]
I know, I'm disappointed in me too.
Music
* Joe Strummer was the motherfucking man, and the world is a little less interesting since he passed on to Hunter Thompson territory. Here's a bunch of facts and images about the great man, and I second the suggestion that you go buy his post-clash stuff, because it is mind-bogglingly good.
TeeVee
* You know why they might cancel The Sarah Connor Chronicles? Cuz I like it. I actually rented the first disc today, just to watch it again at my leisure. It's a great show, and Summer Glau is WIN, and if I like a TV show, they cancel it. Fact. But maybe it's not too late to stop my bad luck from ruining this show. Go here, do what it says, and save Sarah, because if they make one more Felching With The Stars-type show, Swine Flu will be the least of our problems.
Tattoo Of Win
* "Mommy, what is the unicorn doing to the dolphin? Why is he hurting him so?"
[Found at LOLTATZ]
Books
* Here at FEAR & LOATHING, we do not endorse lying. It is Wrong, unless it is funny and more interesting than the Truth, and then it's OK. But I would not be a good person if I did not admit that I want to read this book more than any intellectually challenging tome I might have in front of me:
[Found at BoingBoing]
You ask me what it's about? My response is, 'Who the fuck cares? It's William Shatner. His last name is on the cover four times, in increasingly large letters in case you had ANY DOUBT about the topic of this book. And he fights every character he's ever played because there can only be on True Shatner, and a crazy cult that worships Bruce Campbell, which is true, as I am one of their Priestesses of King Hailing Babies, and sometimes things don't HAVE to make sense, they are just amazing, OK?
Food
* My mother buys this. It's in our fridge right now. I will not eat it.
The only food that comes out of a spray can is whipped cream, and I will not be swayed from this firm moral stance.
Moment of Win
* It's funny because it's true.
[Found at FunPic]
Zombies
* I TOLD YOU.
Movies
* I love Robin Hood, but really, unless Alan Rickman is going to be insane and screaming as the Sheriff, I'm not having it.
[Found at Empire]
Also, this looks suspiciously like Gladiator In Tights! Which would be an UNBELIEVABLE movie, actually, but I doubt that this one's going for that angle.
* I hope this is true, because Brett Ratner and Milli Vanilli have the exact same level of artistic talent.
* Michel Gondry does no wrong, ever. And when he joins forces with Steve Buscemi, gumdrops and vodka rain down from the skies.
* Dear Rob Zombie: Please stop making movies. This article sums up my attitude to the first Halloween, Only Not Scary In The Slightest remake. Unfortunately, I do not share his hope for the next one. Stop it. Michael Myers is getting PISSED.
WTF, INTERNET?
* Sweet Jesus' Donuts. This is a thing so girls can pee like guys. That is what this thing does. That is its purpose. PONDER that.
The instructions made me cry. You stick this thing in you, and you PEE. In public (well, in a restroom, I hope, but STILL). This is horrifying. This skeeves me out so bad. If one thing goes wrong with this, you end up drenched in your own urine. No product should EVER have that caveat. Look, public restrooms can be disgusting. I know this. But this should NEVER be an option. I'd rather my bladder BURST. Also, it's called the P-Mate. That upsets me as well.
Tomorrow: ALL COMICS ALL THE TIME
- LVada
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