Friday, May 8, 2009

The Most Honorable Way Of Dying Is Taking A Bullet For Alan Moore. This Amuses Alan Moore Because He Is Bulletproof.

Freakangels
* UPDATED! YAY! LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN. But, because I am so noble and mature, I am going to wait until AFTER I post this entry to read the wonder. But I'm still sulky that my bag won't ship until May 25th. That's MEAN.

WTF, INTERNET?
* I know this is supposed to be a joke, but you do NOT need to pervert the rubber ducky for the sake of HUMOR.

[Found at Geekologie]
This is a fake thing, which is good, because suicide is A) very sad for everyone involved, and B) would reduce my readership (I stole that line from Geekologie, because I am uncreative and only on coffee cup one.

Technology
* When I was fifteen, I got my first cellphone. I loved that cellphone. It was a huge deal for me. I cherished it. It was the size of a brick, and could call people, and play 'Snake.' Those were its functions. I cherished it, and worshipped at the altar of phone. Now, 90% of kids in Australia have cellphones, and apparently that's close to the numbers in America. And in my experience substitute teaching, it is quite jarring to dismiss your class of kindergartners and see several pull out iPhones, Razrs, and Blackberries. 'Your phone is better than mine. Give it to me. I need it.'

Girly Want
* The ongoing saga of me coveting Nubby Twiglet's shoes.

[Found at NubbyTwiglet]
I would like to raid her closet, please.

Geek Want
* How cute are these?

[Found at LikeCool]
But the real question is, can I BUILD things with my candles? Not that I would. That would be a fire safety hazard. But a wax candle fort would be COOL... until someone lit it. But even that would look cool, if you could get away.

Swine Flu
* Swine flu panic has sort of gone away, in the face of the economy and the world exploding. But there's still funny stuff to be had. Like these kids who were basically chased out of their school by an angry mob, complete with pitchforks and torches, because they had been to Mexico on vacation. "BUT I JUST WANTED TO LEARN ABOUT FRACTIONS!"

Weird News
* Someone stole all the street signs from a township in Pennsylvania. It's the COMMUNISTS. They want us to never know where we're going, and capitalism will fall to pieces because we'll all be LOST. But they don't know about our GPS systems, HAHA! Huzzah for democracy!

Star Trek
* The movie is out today, and getting amazing reviews, and nobody will go see it with me, and while I normally have no problem seeing movies by my lonesome, going to see Star Trek by myself just seems incredibly sad on a level I'm not ready to reach. So I will wait until I can find someone to see it with me, and be very sad about this, and douse myself in Star Trek perfume and then smell myself, to feel closer to Spock, because Zachary Quinto as Spock sort of fulfills most of my Vulcan fantasies.

Also, I dressed up as a Vulcan for Halloween when I was in sixth grade. I HAVE NO SHAME.

Doctor Who
* Look, David Tennant can continue to be the Doctor for as LONG AS HE WANTS. OK? If that means he shows up in Sarah Jane's show, or Fringe, or Dollhouse (SAVE DOLLHOUSE), that is FINE BY ME.

Warren Ellis
* The Master of My Soul wrote an article. Read it, and be one with the knowledge. Let it flow over you, like fine wine or BLOOD.

Quentin Tarantino
* I have had a crush on Tarantino since I was about nine years old, which pretty much explains what type of nine year old girl I was (Mommy! Let me watch Pulp Fiction!) It goes away every now and then, like when he BIT Fergie while filming Grindhouse, or when he was dating Kevin Federline's baby-mama, or when he got stupendously fat. But my love was always THERE, and it remains, one of my longest and most humiliating crushes.
This is not helping:



[Found at ForYourEnrichment]
There are more pictures, and many have Diane Kreuger being sexy (and she's with Pacey and she's blonde and tall and gorgeous, DOESN'T SHE HAVE ENOUGH ALREADY?) but all I care about is Mr. Tarantino and his ginormous chin and his genius. Creepy? Yes. But we can be creepy together. I forgive him for misspelling his movie title. I forgive him for EVERYTHING.

Daily Bai
* This picture is funny because Eva 'Determined To Piss Everyone Off' Longoria looks absolutely terrified.

[Found at her blog]
Clearly, Miss Parker is worried that our gal Bai is going to tackle her and force her to wear chain-link thongs, or shoes made out of toilet paper.

Ads
* I'm an organ donor, and think everyone else should be too. I support that. This ad, however, sort of makes me uncomfortable:

[Found at AdFreak]
Yes, my insides are recyclable and lovely, and hopefully would be useful to people if I suddenly keeled over from too much coffee. But this sort of makes me feel like strangers are just going to start walking up to me, ripping open my abdomen, and go shopping. That is frightening. And feels illegal. And there has to be a better way to get people to be organ donors, rather than saying, 'Your insides are as worthless as old soda cans!'

Daww
* This is an old picture, but we need cuteness:

[Found at LikeCool]
This makes me want a pet rat SO badly, I could cry with want. I would name it Socrates, and build a rat army, and reenact some of the less disturbing scenes from Willard, and my rat army would protect me from zombies. And I would give them all tiny teddies. More pictures here.

WebComics
* Finally, just when I thought XKCD could get no better, it brought in Captain Reynolds:

AND THEN KAYLEE AND RIVER SHOW UP, AND ELECTRIC SKATEBOARDS, AND NAKED CAPTAIN. 'Buckle! Swash!'
Holy hell, I miss Firefly so bad sometimes. And my DVDs are in storage.

Going to read Freakangels now, and see if Karl lives. (Spoilers Below my Signature)
- LV

He does! BUT: only because he wasn't IN this weeks edition, but chikkinz was, and Arkady is hilarious when she's not irritating me, and furthermore, the idea of Quincy with a foot-long cock has shattered my psyche beyond repair. Warren Ellis, you nevr disappoint. Wait, I have to wait a WHOLE NOTHER WEEK for more? See, this is the downside to comics. THE WAITING BURNS. Fuck it, I'm going to go buy makeup. THAT WILL SHOW YOU ALL.

And this is when I can tell I've had a touch too much coffee.

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