Alan Moore Knows Why Hot Dogs Are Sold In Packs Of Twelve & Hot Dog Buns Are Sold In Packs Of Eight.

Life* Which of you bastards replaced my caffeine with non-caffeine? This coffee isn't working. I have become IMMUNE. I clearly have super-powers (immunity to caffeine, and the ability to turn on sink faucets by walking into public restrooms). I also do not wish to work today. Or study LSATs for three hours.WTF, INTERNET?* I know this has made the rounds, but it's been sitting in my Bookmarks folder for a while, and I feel it's important enough to warrant another discussion. I am talking about a serious and troubling issue. I am talking about the Cuchini.[Found at Cuchini]This is their mascot:[Found at Cuchini]You stick it in your underwear, and don't have camel toe. That's it. Now, some crazy people might suggest that the solution would simply to, I don't know, NOT wear items of clothing so tight that your gynecological secrets are revealed to anyone walking by. The page also features a page of Celebrity Camel Toe. I do not know why. Wouldn't that make impressionable young girls WANT camel toe? These are questions we must take a long, hard look at (HA).But really, go one size up. PLEASE. No one will know, ever. And you won't have to spend MONEY on this thing.Russell Brand* This picture makes me laugh, because NOBODY looks happy/comfortable in it:[Found at Jezebel]Clearly the girls mistook him for Johnny Depp, and clearly Mr. Brand has just realized that he has accidentally stolen Liza Minelli's shoes.Depression Session* Remember The Real World, the one reality show that didn't suck for a while, back when MTV played music videos and nobody knew about Miley Cyrus, and we were all young and full of hope and Blink 182 was totally bad-ass? I do, my friends. I do. Well, to acknowledge the changing times, and how much every single aspect of the world is misery and failure and sweaty desperation, now there's going to be a . I assume that thee homeless people will have to do awful, humiliating things and expose their personal lives on camera, like every other season of Real World, ever. Only instead of funny, like when Puck was being a bitch, it will be sad and uncomfortable, like when Ruthie got alcohol poisoning.Girly Shit* Oh, come ON:[Found at MakeupAndBeautyBlog]Yes, it's like those pens with the ladies in undies, and you turn them upside down and their clothes come off (not fully though, just to the men's tighty-whities), only it's a lipgloss. And it's called the Pocket Rocket, which my internet research reveals is also a vibrator (which was my first thought). This is a filthy blog entry, isn't it? Also, these apparently have pheromones in them that make you all sexy. And it's $19. I'm done.Tattoo Of Win* Eww/HAHA:[Found at LOLTATZ]Eww/HAHA, repeat forever.Books* A lot of these Amazon Book Reviews are better than the books themselves. Check out this review of Ralph Ellison's classic,
:

This book was as intellectually stimulating as watching a blind goat rape a treestump. I've never been as horrified in my life as I was by this terrible, terrible disgrace upon writing.

Unfortunately, it hasn't been updated in a while, but the archives are wonderful.Food* From the blog that brought you Bacon Lube, Bacon Lipgloss, Make Your Own Bacon, & The Bacon Flame-Thrower, I humbly present:[Found at LikeCool]Squeezable Bacon. It is fully cooked, and mushed into a ketchup bottle, and squeezed onto anything you want. Like ice cream! Or popcorn! THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES, PEOPLE. MUSHED BACON FOR ALL.I think I'll end there. I need to go to work, and such.- LVPS I think i can say with fair certainty that Spock won the favorite character poll. Which means, when it closes, that my blog will be all about our favorite green-blooded pointy-eared bastard. Huzzah!

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