Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Movie 'Ray' Is Loosely Based On The Life Of Alan Moore Only They Substituted Piano Playing For Eating Toddlers & Blindness For The Ability To Fly.

Books
* There's a great quote by Alfred Hitchcock on how paperback books would never replace hardcover, as paperback books suck as doorstops:

[Found at BoingBoing]
This collection of Agatha Christie that ends up being over a foot thick, is probably the doorstop wet dream.

Star Trek
* Say what you will about our president, his policies, and his politics. Our Geek President liked the new Star Trek, loves the old Star Trek, and gives the Vulcan salute. No one who is evil loves Star Trek. Dick Cheney can't even utter the words, or he bursts into flames.

Journalism
* This is either funny because it's true, or the exact way our species will KILL ITSELF through misinformation:

[Found at Neatorama]

Remake Fail
* I cannot even BEGIN to deal with this. There are certain RULES of existence on this planet, and if you don't follow them, you get the fuck off and go to Mars with Doctor Manhattan. One of the primary rules is YOU DO NOT FUCKING REMAKE BUFFY WITHOUT THE WISE AND BENEVOLENT AID OF JOSS WHEDON. The original movie was NOT GOOD (Except for the line about a vampire bite looking like 'A really gross hickey') and Buffy had CRAMPS whenever she saw a vampire and there was no Giles, or Wesley, or Xander, or Spike, or Angel, or Wesley, or ANYONE GOOD. THERE WAS NOTHING. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? WHY IS JOSS WHEDON NOT SUING THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE? Joss, I was there for the cancellation of Angel and Firefly, the near-cancellation of Dollhouse, the end of Buffy, all of it. Do NOT put me through a bastardization of Buffy. PLEASE.

TeeVee
* Due to some weird TV issues at my house, I can no longer watch MSNBC, which is TRAGIC. So I'm stuck watching CNBC until we fix it. And I still seem to miss people losing their minds and going batshit insane. CNBC Fail.

Geek Want
* Horribly, inexcusably, I was never a Star Wars fan. I liked it and all, but I never subscribed to that fandom. Naturally, it's the only fandom my little brother is interested in, but that's another story. Regardless, I want this so badly:

[Found at Neatorama]
It's got a little frozen Skywalker inside! I kind of wish it had little organ-pillows inside, too, but one has to make do with what one gets, yes?

WTF, INTERNET
* You know, H.P. Lovecraft had a rough life. He had a lot of personal and emotional problems, he was afraid of things with tentacles.... dude had problems. His stories are brilliant and I love them but, like Kafka, reading them is a pretty clear indication that some geniuses need a hug and strong sedatives. Lovecraft is dead, now, which is probably good, because these exist:

[Found at Neatorama]
This is almost mocking the illustrious author. 'Haha, you were tortured by nightmarish visions that destroyed your sanity, here's a TABLE that embodies your worst fears! Look, it's SKITTERING towards you!'
Also, those tables don't look very steady. Just saying.

Daily Hot Guy
* Continuing our Joss Whedonverse theme:

[Nathan Fillion, AKA Mal Reynolds, AKA Captain Reynolds, AKA Captain Tightpants, AKA RIchard Castle, AKA Captain Hammer, AKA Bill Pardy, AKA I Know He Was On Desperate Housewives But I'm Pretending Otherwise Because I Hate That Show & Won't Watch It, AKA Caleb, making giant rubber gloves sexy in a very disconcerting way]

Zombies
* When zombies rule the world, the haiku will be the natural form of communication. True fact. Also, in 2010 Plants Vs Zombies will be the world's only source of economic trade. Think about it.

Animals
* Remember how in that shitty, shitty movie The Happening, they kept talking about the honeybees? No? Well, they did. And that movie sucked. Which has nothing to do with this, which is a honeybee sculpture hive thing:

[Found at BoingBoing]
I just like mentioning that movie because it sucks so bad it causes your eyeballs to explode. And bees are cool. And I've got to go get ready for work. BEES. LASER BEES.

I've either had too much coffee, or not enough, and I can't really decide.
- LV

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