There Is No 'Control' Button On Alan Moore's Computer. Alan Moore Is Always In Control.

Life* I had a really clever and interesting thing to muse over, which I thought of right before I fell asleep. Then... I fell asleep. And had a dream where my tattoos melted off and I ended up with one in the shape of the X-Files logo, and then I was on a subway where the zombie virus was breaking out, and this hot guy controlled the zombies, and I had great shoes. So that's why I have nothing interesting to say. Tattoos* I may only be interested in this whole thing because when I was a young lass, I got to meet Good Charlotte, back when they were 'underground' (or as underground as Good Charlotte ever was), and while Benji was a bit of a diva, Joel was very quiet and nice to everyone milling around the band, and I liked him (and yes, I still listen to old Good Charlotte, because 'East Coast Anthem' is a good song, damn it). And I like that Joel and Nicole Ritchie are together and have a cute kid, and nobody is in jail or throwing rocks at each other. What I'm saying is that I like Joel, and it's BULLSHIT that he had to cover up his tattoos before he could get on an airplane. I mean, unless I wear a belly-shirt, or a bikini, which would be gross on a plane, I won't have this problem. My tattoos are easily covered. But really, this is offensive. Unless his tattoos were nothing but obscenities, or violent naked images... I'd still call bullshit, but I could understand the drama. But Joel Madden's tattoos are religious. And the bottom line is, this is crap. I'm picketing British Airlines, not that that means ANYTHING since I'm not going anywhere at the moment. Cars* I want this, despite the fact that I have no idea how to ride a motorcycle, and could not afford it, and I don't think it's actually for sale:[Found at BoingBoing]I also want to wear those old-fashioned goggles, and scream "GET OFF MY LAWN" at the neighbor kids."Russell Brand* Let me make this Very Clear: I do not care who else is in this movie. I do not care about who directs it. I do not care about the plot. In fact I'd rather know NOTHING about these things. All I want to know is that Russell Brand will be reprising his character Aldous Snow from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That's it. Here's a clip of him rehearsing. I want this movie out now. We need it.Nature* Oh fucking GOD. Spiders, after you flush them, CAN COME BACK TO LIFE AND SEEK THEIR UNHOLY REVENGE. So far, only Wolf Spiders can do this, but what if they teach this trick to all their little friends? WHAT THEN? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY COCKROACHES I FLUSHED WHEN I LIVED IN NEW YORK? Plus, they're like ZOMBIE SPIDERS. I'm stocking up on canned goods, and bug spray. Shit just got REAL.Smokers* Stop kidding yourselves. It's nice that you want people to stop smoking (although there are intrinsic problems with caring so much about the health of total strangers, but I digress). The bottom line is, people are not going to stop smoking, no matter how expensive it is. When I lived in the Chelsea part of New York City, I was paying $11 a day for cigarettes. And I bitched and moaned, but I PAID. Because, like heroin, when you are addicted to nicotine, you eventually will pay any amount. I'm sure some people will quit because of this. But there will always be those remaining few who stubbornly cling to their packs of Camels, no matter what the cost. America (Fuck Yeah!)* Oh, we are a sinful nation. Check out this map of all the sinning. Filthy, filthy sinners, with their decadently delightful sexing.Superheroes* Some of these new superheroes make me very sad. They look like Spider-Man when he went to fight in his red pajamas.Depression Session* Since this website has an unhealthy love of all things bacon, here's a link on how to make your own, when only the rich can pay the fee to get into the grocery stores, and you are tired of chewing on your shoes. It doesn't sound especially hard, but since I have a rare gift for ruining food that cannot be ruined, I won't be trying this without the fire department on alert.Girly Shit* I would like this girl's shoes please. [Found at TheSartorialist]And her sunglasses. And to be sitting in Australia, in the sun, and not in New Jersey in the cold rain.Music* Trent Reznor is a tiny badass. He's also funny on Twitter, which is unexpected but a pleasant surprise, that he's not all 'Life is a black pit of fuzzy-animal destroying BLACKNESS.' And Apple is evil (I say as I type on my Mac) and they allowed the Baby-Shaking App for the iPhone, but not anything involving 'The Downward Spiral.' And while Mr. Reznor may have mellowed a bit over the years (he's engaged, and I wish him the best so long as he doesn't start singing sappy love songs), you still do not want to piss him off. NIN removed the offending material, but don't you doubt that Mr. Reznor is plotting point revenge.Vampires* Since I am writing a book about vampires (ask for details!)(no, not shitty
vampires. Mine are cool ones that are evil and KILL things and don't cry) I found this article on why they can't exist interesting, although I too find the essential issue flawed: what if, like snakes, vampires need to eat only once a month, or less? HUH?Tattoo of Win* Not ironic. You have to give props when Nemo is involved:[Found at LOLTATZ]Books* Fuck LA. Seriously. You get sunshine and celebrities, and today you get Russell Brand signing My Booky Wook and being fabulous and sexy, and you don't deserve ANY of it. DOESN'T NEW JERSEY GET ANYTHING? PS: If anyone does go, please E-Mail me and tell me what it was like elle.veev@gmail.com. I'll post it here, and sulk over your luck.Food* Cupcakes are delicious and happy. We need more delicious and happy, especially when it's a Thursday and gross out and you really didn't get enough sleep and never have any free time at ALL and don't really want to move for a few days, so I present Ms. Pac Man cupcakes:[Found at BoingBoing]Of course, the cupcakes are on my computer screen and not before me about to be eaten, so that could be considered sad as well.Wisdom* There is a reason people watch The Daily Show for their news. Well, there are a lot of reasons. Explaining why we're all going to die horribly is a good reason.Going to work now. Hopefully today will be good. SEE, POSITIVITY?- LV

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