Wednesday, September 9, 2009

You Shall Not Subject Your God To Market Forces!

Blog
* I wish this was a real commandment. Title is from the Discworld novel Small Gods by Terry Pratchett, who wise people consider a god himself.

Wow
* This was not what I needed to see first thing in the morning:

EMBED-Creepy Man Bugs Out his Eyes - Watch more free videos
I mean, REALLY. JESUS. I haven't even had a full cup of coffee yet. I really need to read the headlines before I click on videos. I think we all learned a valuable lesson here.
Also, ew.

Animals
* Ah, much better. Innocuous and silly. I'm sure you've seen this video before, but I like it, and puppies and kitties are AWESOME, so shut up and enjoy it:

Don't you feel better now? I know I do.

Girly Shit
After a lot of deep thoughts and soul-searching, I have decided once and for all that I do in fact need to own these shoes:

[Found at ShoeLust]
If only because half the time I find them really hideous, and the other half I find them irresistible. These emotions confuse me. Clearly these shoes have powers.

Music
* Blue Gillespie was NOT what I expected, as I keep saying, because really, Ianto Jones, where do you get off using that sort of language? But I like it, and not just because I have a deep and unhealthy love for the lead singer.

* Here's a video of Lady Gaga, who is a bright woman, and who I love because A) She's about my height, B) She dresses like she belongs in Transmetropolitan, C) Her music is fun and great and clever, and D) She's very perceptive in this video:

Too bad she's still among those numbers who consider 'feminist' a bad word. And you know what? It DOES have bad connotations. It shouldn't, but it does, and part of me wants to reclaim the word, and part of me wants to find a new one. I'm just generally uncomfortable with those sort of labels unless I fully endorse every aspect of said label.
It's too early for this mental perambulations. Gaga=Awesome.

Technology
* I love Twitter. Some might say too much, but those people don't work from their computers and spend literally hours writing/researching, and need some entertainment to keep from snapping and going on a killing spree.
This woman understands what I'm talking about. She tweeted during a BANK ROBBERY, that she didn't even notice.
This woman may even be beyond me, since my phone only Tweets when it feels like it, because my phone is a useless piece of shit. But her Tweets are funny, if boring, because she wasn't even AWARE of the bank robbery. I would have been the girl who saved the day with her quick wits and super powers.
Or, more likely, the girl bawling in the corner and trying to smoke unlit cigarettes.

Watchmen
* Megan posted this, from Cracked, and I laughed and then sobbed, because it's kind of true. If the studios had changed the ending of Watchmen (don't get me started on the goddamn squid. It was stupid in the comic, and it looks like a big vagina with a beak, and the first time I read it I was more than a little freaked out that I had gone insane during the reading of the comic, and just failed to notice until that point. Besides, in the movie, the goddamn squid would have ended up looking like the monster in Cloverfield, and you KNOW this to be true) it would have ended this way. So even if you HATED the movie, be thankful that they didn't decide to take this route. I know I am.

* Oh shit:
"Has Jesus Christ been spotted on Mars?"

MANHATTAN'S BACK AND MASQUERADING AS THE SON OF GOD. HIDE YOUR RED-HEADED VIGILANTES! Parenthetically, that IS the first thing I thought of. No, I'm not taking any new cough medicine, why do you ask?

Comics
* Is anyone going to the New England Fan Experience? BECAUSE GARETH DAVID-LLOYD WILL BE THERE. AND LEONARD NIMOY. EXCITEMENT. Because it's not super far away, and if I give up a lot of money and maybe sell my organs and unborn children, and a few of my friends, I can GO. WHY DOES NO ONE COOL EVER COME TO NEW JERSEY?! WHY?! Stupid state.
Anyway. I want to go. So tell me if you are going, or have gone in the past. Because I didn't go to Dragon*Con, OR San Diego Comic-Con, although I know super-cool people who were at BOTH and live amazing lives that I envy, and this sentence has gotten away from me, hasn't it?
Stupid state.

Daily Hot Guy

[Steve Carell, who is very funny, but has a striking profile, and also looked really hot in his suit in Get Smart, even if that movie managed to skull-fuck one of my favorite childhood memories to DEATH, but it wasn't really his fault, and also The 40-Year-Old Virgin is one of my favoritest movies and makes me laugh and cry every time.]

Russell Brand
* I have only heard one Jonas Brothers' song, and I didn't like it or dislike it. I nothing it. I really nothing them, and don't hate them. They aren't on my radar. I know they exist, and make teenage girls insane, and supposedly can actually play their own instruments, and that one has diabetes and one is engaged. Which isn't too shabby, considering I don't care.
I also know that Russell Brand made some jokes about the Jonas Brothers at the VMAs last year, in between enraging all the Twilight fans and shagging everyone senseless, because that's what he does. And a lot of teenage girls were very angry, and very tiresome.
But Nick Jonas (one of the Jonas Brothers, I am assuming)(yes, I am JUST like Sherlock Holmes, only female and not addicted to cocaine, thank you for noticing) took it as a compliment, and did not ask his underage minions to tear Mr. Brand limb from limb, which I appreciate, as his essence, if released into the world, would turn the planet into a Love-Fest, and I have work today and therefore wouldn't be able to enjoy it.
I still haven't decided if I love Mr. Brand enough to sit THROUGH the VMAs. It will depend on what else is on TV, and how much alcohol is in the immediate vicinity.

Tattoo Of Win
* This COULD be unironic, if I didn't dislike feet so much:

[Found at LOLTATZ]
OK, OK, foot ick aside, I really like these tattoos, and they're pretty and cute and funny. I'll be nice. But only because Glee is premiering tonight, and I finally get to see it, and also it's Wednesday, and 9/9/09, which I've been told is a big deal.

Moment Of Wing
* Damn. School has changed since I was a kid:
A hardcore pornographic movie was accidentally screened at PS 17 in Brooklyn, N.Y., school officials said.

The part that cracks me up is that the kids, ranging from five years old, were supposed to be watching some Jonas Brothers movie. Not quite, kids. Instead of Camp Rock, they watched Camp - too easy.

OK, Blogger is being weird, and I'm moving super slow because I am tired as shit (is shit tired? I often wonder what the things we say actually mean...) and I have work, but really I just want to go back to sleep and continue that dream I was having where me and Jackie Earle Haley and Gareth David-Lloyd were fighting the zombie apocalypse. It was SWEET.
- LV

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