Thursday, September 24, 2009

You Mustn't Fret Over Everything, My Very Strange Little Friend!

Blog
* That's easy to say when you've drunken all the sake, Adam. Title is from Heroes.

* Yes, I'm blogging twice today. Maybe more. I could justify this decision, but I'm not going to. Suffice it to say that I'm recovering from a sinus infection/flu hybrid DEADLY DISEASE.

Journalism
* My college journalism teacher would have called this, 'inflammatory journalism.' I always thought that sounded like some disgusting disease (it's the word 'inflame' I have a problem with, it seems), but actually it's quite succinct in this case:

[Found at Wonkette]
Look, kids beat the shit out of each other. It's part of growing up. And sometimes, yeah, it's racially motivated. But sometimes it's simply, 'That kid laughs funny, and I'm having a bad day, so I'm going to beat him up.' Kids don't really have complicated reasons for disliking each other. I hated a girl in my school solely because she said 'like' every other word (No, that's not an exaggeration. This was a sentence: 'I, like, really, like, hated, like, the, like, math, like, test.' It drove me nuts.) although I never hit her, but that's besides the point. The point I am TRYING to make (unsuccessfully, I suspect) is that race is not always the reason. Or race is a cover for another reason - economic, social, personal - that is more complicated.

But kids beat the shit out of each other. When my little brother gets into a fight at school, I don't naturally assume it had some sinister underlying message. I assume he was being an asshole. It happens. And from what I've read/seen of this particular fight, it wasn't racially motivated. It was little kids fighting. As they tend to do.

Can we as a society calm the fuck down?

Ad!Fail
* It's funny, I was just talking about bananas....

[Found at The Worlds Best Ever]
Um... I think... See, I just eat the bananas. I don't... I don't wear them. Ever. I never would. It's fruit. It's good. It's just not an effective toupee. You are fooling no one. And get them out of your ears. Now nobody else will want them.

Harry Potter
* They are coming out with Harry Potter Ultimate Editions. I don't care, so much, unless there is guaranteed more Snape. OK, I'm totally lying. The special features are RIDICULOUS, and not solely stupid Quidditch shit. So LV will be a broke geek again, per usual, huzzah!
And speaking of Harry Potter, I am on a campaign to get Tim Roth to play Young Snape in the flashback sequences of Deathly Hallows. This campaign consists of me sometimes sending Tweets to people and saying, 'Wouldn't Tim Roth kick ASS as Severus Snape?' Then they say 'Yeah.' Then I get distracted by something else. So far, my campaign has been unsuccessful.

Star Trek
* This picture makes me laugh:

[Found at Tribbletastic]
It is also true, and started the slash movement. Maybe. If you listen to the Trekkies. My cousin, by the way, has decided all Watchmen fans are 'Watchies.' I in no way endorse this title.

Art
* Since I cannot draw, and probably should never draw, for the good of the world, I want to buy these for all my sickeningly talented artist friends:

[Found at Incredible Things]
You may think this is because I am nice. WRONG. I want to buy you all pixel colored pencils so you feel OBLIGATED to draw what I want you to draw, all the time, and I will rule your creative lives with an IRON FIST.
Luckily I have no money, and I'm far too lazy to enact an evil plan, and all my artist friends already draw stuff I love, so none of this will ever happen.

Watchmen
* We all know I love Watchmen. I will PROVE my love, for those of you ass enough to doubt me. BRING IT. But I do, and I hate having to criticize it in any way. That's another lie. I am full of lies, today. Lies and germs. I like mocking Watchmen in an affectionate and tender way, because I love it. The same way I mock all my fandoms. This, however, is not loving mockery. I really, really don't like the cover of the Ultimate Edition:

[Found at Topless Robot]
Here are my issues:
- The Cover. I do not like the cover. I'm sorry. It should be the Comedian's button. Not this weird Pirate button. And I like me some pirates.
- The Motion Picture Comic. As someone who will buy ANYTHING Watchmen related (except those Rorschach thongs, because that shit is unacceptable), this may be the only thing I didn't purchase. Because it bugs me when Laurie talks like a man. If they'd had the movie cast do it, I'd be all happy. If they'd had anyone from the cast do the whole thing, I'd be fine (except Billy Crudup, because we'd grow old and die waiting to get past chapter one.) Point is, I'm not really jived on motion picture comics as a whole, and I don't need this. It is not essential to my life. I'd rather just reread the comic. Over and over.
- Under The Hood. I own this. And I love it very much, and it kind of makes me sad and teary (but there should be more Mothman). But I own it in a snazzy metal case. So... I do not require another copy.
- My Chemical Romance video. I own this, too. On iTunes.
Look, there are things I don't own, and I'm excited about the Video Journals, and it will be nice to see Tales of the Black Freighter interspersed in the movie (although I may be the only person who really liked it. Am I?) and this may be more about my pathological need to own all things Watchmen, but... COME ON, ZACK SNYDER. GIVE US SOMETHING MORE.
And I'm done.

Comics
* Warren Ellis, our cruel and impenetrable leader of Sin (Thoroughbred of Sin? DON'THURTMEMR.ELLIS) posted these gorgeous images of the character Black Orchid reimagined for the 21st century. This, by Ben Templesmith (who also did Fell and 30 Days of Night), is my favorite:

[Found at Warren Ellis]

Tattoo Of Win
* This is one of those tattoos that grosses me out so much I refuse to post it on my blog. But I link to it, to spread the suffering around. I'll wait for you to finish soaking your eyes.
I feel there is nothing I could add to this. Ever. In fact, let's pretend I never linked to it. Do you like bananas? They are delicious!

Words Of Win
"... An EMT took a cell-phone photo of a corpse while working a crime scene and posted it on Facebook."
And you all LAUGH when I say Facebook will be the end of us all. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!

Russell Brand
* Here is Russell, rehearsing. Religiously. Righteously. I'm sorry, that wasn't even good alliteration. Click here to see Mr. Brand rehearsing for the VMAs, of which he was the only good bit. Well, he and Lady Gaga's clothes.

Politics
* I think we, as a species, can all get together and agree that this dude (whose name I can say, but have seen spelled - I'm not joking - fourteen different ways THIS MORNING, and I'm not bothering) is batshit crazy insane, and his little hat freaks me out:

Also anyone who comes out REMOTELY in support of the the Taliban is not going to make friends with anyone. And could someone explain why he wanted a tent in New Jersey? And where he got his Big Pimpin' fur coat? This man is frightening and incoherent. He will soon have a reality show, and they'll cancel, I don't know, Glee to make room for it. DO NOT CANCEL GLEE. EVER.

Food
* Doctors found a piece of a Wendy's spoon stuck in some guy's lung. Dude. I know you're hungry, but chewing the food helps. You can't tell me that someone who properly masticates would NOT have felt the hunk of SPOON going down their lung. At least he's not suing them. I appreciate that. It is in NO WAY Wendy's fault that you INHALED A PIECE OF SPOON.

Celebrity!Fail
* I know there is something inherently cyclical and hypocritical about blogging over how sick I am of Jon and Kate Plus 8 and all the drama, especially since I don't care. I do, however, care about this:

[Found at D-Listed]
I care very much about hair. And this is very bad hair. I know she's a single mom with a small herd of spawn, and her husband is a tool, but there is no excuse for hair like that. Even Lady Gaga is looking at you, shaking her head and thinking, 'Shit, that is some BAD HAIR.'
I feel better now.

Flash Forward
* My friend asked me how I organized my categories. I don't. They sort of take over, and I have way too many. But with TV categories, I tend to file them under TeeVee until they air. Or if I don't watch them. So now you know.

* Flash Forward is premiering tonight. Are we excited? It's supposed to be very good, and it has an excellent cast, and is written by David S. Goyer, and this is enough to ensure my viewership for at least a few episodes. Here is a clip - the first 17 minutes of the show, to be precise - in case you're still on the fence. I have not watched it, because I already know I'm watching it tonight. It's my only Thursday show, I think. I'm trying to cut down. I DO like to leave the house, sometimes.

Zombies
* Zombie babies. Zombie short movies. More zombie babies. And you people think there's nothing to be afraid of. HAHA.

Apocalypse How?
* This is why I should NEVER read the news:
New virus from rats can kill 80 per cent of human victims
It's in South Africa, but I have pet rats! PANIC ON THE STREETS. And I have a cold/sinus infection/swine flu. Well, it's been nice knowing you all. AVENGE ME.

If it's not the zombies, rats, bad haircuts, or diseases that get me, it will be the vegans. Always, the vegans. Or, you know, nuclear holocaust. That's scary too.
- LV

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